DP riled me up AIBU?

[DustandDander]

Bit of background. Dp and I together 5 years, we have 2 dc age 1 & 3. We had a break for a few months when dc 2 was young as things got a bit rocky and it wasn't healthy for any of us. Anyway we have reconciled and things have been wonderful.

While we were apart his parents suggested he, our dc, and other family members go abroad next year. At this point I didn't say yes or no as I wasn't sure. We get back together and it was suggested I go on this holiday. I said I think it's best to wait to make sure we're secure before I commit to going (bearing in mind nothing is booked as yet.) He decided for me and tells them I'm going, WITHOUT my 15 year old DD (as she wouldn't want to go) 🙄 which has royaly pissed me off. Bearing in mind he won't speak to her or have any conversation, it's obvious he sees her as a thorn in his side.

I said let's compromise on an ALTERNATIVE, if things are good next year why don't we book for the 5 of us - sensible I think. He said great but I'm still going to take the youngest dc on this year. Er that's not an alternative that's an addition!

I'm really quite riled that 1, he made the decision for me and left my DD out 2, he thinks it's okay to take our young dc abroad on their first holiday without their mum when I suggested a completely reasonable alternative.

Your thoughts please.

Come on OP. Please let this be the final straw, for the sake of everyone. Dont just say it, mean it, and please get some counselling because from your other threads and how much of an arsehole he is then you will need it. You can do this.

OP in what way have "things been wonderful" if Bearing in mind he won't speak to her or have any conversation, it's obvious he sees her as a thorn in his side

You start by saying DP has riled you up, and now that posters are rightly focusing on the hostility your DD is facing, you are trying to convince us yourself that you consider the relationship over. I really hope that is the case and you have seen the light.

He needs to stay as an ex.

The holiday is irrelevant, you are with a man who won’t speak to your daughter and you’re ok with this ?

YABU to get back with someone who ignores your child in her own home.

Same old sad story, a woman putting herself before her children when it comes to a man.

Same old sad story, a woman putting herself before her children when it comes to a man.

Yes.

What’s your housing situation op?

Why are you with a man who regards your daughter as "a thorn in his side"?

Well if you two end up splitting up again, then he’ll be taking your DD on holiday without you anyway at some point.

He sounds terrible. I am glad you don't live together, but you should not let him have any decision-making role with your kids at all. Why has he taken against your daughter? Just because she's someone else's biological child rather than his? Or does he just hate teenagers? In any case, you cannot be the partner of someone who not only excludes your daughter from a holiday with her siblings, but won't speak to her.

He's not unreasonable to want to take his DC on an extended family holiday. DC would probably have a great time.
They will be spending more time together, without you, when you permanently split.

by this whole saga.

On a practical level, I don't think you can withhold your children's passports unless there is a known risk. Being a twat is unfortunately not regarded as a risk.

First batch child here - this is why I disagree with having children by different fathers/mothers.
Ridiculous comment! it's not like you plan it that way

Trust me my kids are number 1, 100% my priority

I beg to differ. You would not be with a partner who wouldnt speak to your minor child if that were teh case

I said i was out but I've came back to check, partially due to curiosity if op answerd and partially due to wine. I'm really baffled by this whole situation and was hoping for a genuine response from op.

@DustandDander

Him and my dd used to really get on, it's since we got back together it's been different.

Why is that? Did she not want you back together?

Sounds like the 15 yr old DD has much more sense and insight into this relationship than the OP does.

What part of "wonderful" has it been for your DD seeing you being treated like a doormat and worse still your allowing him to treat her the way he does?

Poor girl.

@LagunaBubbles

Same old sad story, a woman putting herself before her children when it comes to a man.

Couldn’t have said it better myself, honestly I really cant for the life of me understand the mindset of a woman who cannot find it in herself to put her own child/children over & above herself or anybody else, I’d walk to the ends of the earth for my children & wouldn’t even put their own father before them. The mind boggles

If this is true OP then you have a bar that's lower than a snakes belly for both yourself and your kids.
It's like a MN edition of Jeremy Kyle!!

Like most posters I cannot get over the idea he allows himself to exclude your eldest dd.
You must not enable such toxic behaviour. All or none