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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WiBU - school or me?

112 replies

StonedRoses · 14/11/2021 08:42

DS is in Yr6. I don’t work on Mondays so those days I sort out pick up drops of etc. Rest of the week we share it.
Last Monday I get a call from school around 11am asking me to pick him up. Apparently he had a headache and looked pale. So I told them I’d be there ASAP but would take about 40min
Although it was my day off I’d popped into town to do some jobs and get stuff I can’t get locally - so I’d gone on the train as parking is impossible. Hence it took a little while to get to station and wait for train
School were not happy and said I should have been immediately available. Is that reasonable? Or possible? If I’d been working it would have taken longer

As an aside DS is hardly ever ill. So it’s not a regular thing. And perked up very quickly with a dose of calpol and an afternoon of gaming….

OP posts:
coldwarenigma · 14/11/2021 18:04

Utterly silly, most parents work and can't just drop everything. Schools need to get real.
As others have said it's not that far in the distant past that once a child was in school then parents were generally uncontactable. I can't remember being called to pick my DC up but it was a village school 8 miles away. I didn't have a car for periods of time. And in my case, in the stone age certainly most of my classmates and I didn't have home phones, mobiles were Sci fi..we had a sick room and unless it was something that required a doctor you stayed there until home time.

Original poster
StonedRoses · 14/11/2021 18:15

Maybe I’m a bit hard-hearted because of my job (anaesthetist) - but he certainly wasn’t critically ill when I got there!! I answers straight away when they called and told them I was on my way and would be about 45min. They asked if I could come any quicker and the tone seemed to be that they weren’t happy with that!

At least school called me first, the boy told them rightly that’s his mum works on a Monday but I don’t. It doesn’t mean I don’t have things to do though. I’m now wondering whether it’s safe to go for a short walk tomorrow or should I stay within 5min of my car at all times!

OP posts:
Whynotnowbaby · 14/11/2021 18:15

I think some pp are incredibly lucky they have jobs that are so easy to hand over and be out the door. I am a teacher in a school that is struggling for staff, it would be very difficult for me to get out at short notice, although of course my colleagues would rally round to help if they could. It must be lovely for the staff in these schools that they can clearly be at their own children’s schools in the blink of an eye and so imagine we all can, but many of us just can’t!

Whynotnowbaby · 14/11/2021 18:17

Also, emergency contacts are tricky too, I don’t have any friends who are at home all day and could pick up my child either, my parents live in another country so the emergency contacts listed for my dc are really just other people who won’t be able to collect them, not ideal but I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to do.

Whereismumhiding3 · 14/11/2021 18:32

No yanbu
School were being unreasonable
You can take this up by an email to the head
That you responded and came direct to the school and would they like to show the policy that says "parents cannot work nor run essential errands during the school day as they must be within 10 minutes of the school at all times"?

No ? That's because there is no policy that says that and it would be unworkable as would discriminate against working parents.

A hospital doctor, HCP , nurse, a teacher, a lecturer, carer, a contractor/ labourer in midst of a job, none of those for eg could walk out of their responsibilities immediately to go collect a child from school (unless it was high risk for the child as they were waiting for an ambulance or had covid symptoms- we would risk assess)

Whereismumhiding3 · 14/11/2021 18:35

And most people would be lucky to work within 10 minutes of their child's school!

What about the parents that don't drive? They might be a 45 mins walk away, even for their catchment school. In London children can end up going to schools over an hours commute away. Let alone the distance then for parent from their job as well, Eve if they did leave immediately.

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 14/11/2021 18:42

Surely plenty of the staff at the school have school ages children of their own?! Is your child’s teacher able to answer personal calls during lessons and then leave immediately? Of course not. Ridiculous.

Mistressiggi · 14/11/2021 23:17

I can guarantee you that if I see the name of my dc's schools flash up on my watch during class time, I will be answering that call!

lanthanum · 14/11/2021 23:38

@Mistressiggi

I can guarantee you that if I see the name of my dc's schools flash up on my watch during class time, I will be answering that call!
In a way, it's better if they contact the school office, for a teacher parent. That way, someone can start organising cover immediately, so that by the time you get the message you know that someone is on their way.
safclass · 14/11/2021 23:58

At all of our schools they call the number that parents put first on their contact list, and work down the list until they get a response.

FateHasRedesignedMost · 15/11/2021 07:20

A hospital doctor, HCP , nurse, a teacher, a lecturer, carer, a contractor/ labourer in midst of a job, none of those for eg could walk out of their responsibilities immediately to go collect a child from school

Some can. I work in a hospital, if any staff are called to school to pick up an ill child the rest of the MDT take on their workload and delegate anything urgent, re-organise staff to make up the numbers etc. (By ill I mean child is primary age and vomiting/injured/properly unwell not a teenager with a headache).

The same happens if a member of staff is suddenly taken ill at work and has to leave; nobody expects them to spend half an hour handing over or briefing colleagues. They just inform whoever they must and go. It happens a lot, eg when norovirus or other winter bugs hit the wards and staff drop like flies. Ward managers are prepared for any staff member (of any discipline) to get sick at any moment and have to go straight home (or straight to the bathroom until they’re fit to drive in some cases).

A child ill at school is unfortunate but IME schools do seem to expect you to get there quickly. I appreciate that’s impossible for some parents. But school staff are stretched for numbers too, so a vomiting or feverish child needing to be isolated on a 1:1 for an hour takes a member of staff away from their job, as well as exposing him/her to a bug.

Skysblue · 15/11/2021 11:03

School being v unreasonable. Are they really suggesting that no mothers should work??

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