WiBU - school or me?

[StonedRoses]

DS is in Yr6. I don’t work on Mondays so those days I sort out pick up drops of etc. Rest of the week we share it.
Last Monday I get a call from school around 11am asking me to pick him up. Apparently he had a headache and looked pale. So I told them I’d be there ASAP but would take about 40min
Although it was my day off I’d popped into town to do some jobs and get stuff I can’t get locally - so I’d gone on the train as parking is impossible. Hence it took a little while to get to station and wait for train
School were not happy and said I should have been immediately available. Is that reasonable? Or possible? If I’d been working it would have taken longer

As an aside DS is hardly ever ill. So it’s not a regular thing. And perked up very quickly with a dose of calpol and an afternoon of gaming….

stupid you cant sit-in case on the phone all day just case if it was that serious they should call an ambulance anyway but it wasn't

Did your son tell them you were at home on Mondays, by any chance?

If not, it's a complete overreaction by the school.

Ridiculous of the school. My child’s Junior school was 12 miles from our home in rush hour it would take 45 minutes to get there if I was working from home.

Currently if I needed to pick my child up from school they are at now it could take anywhere between 30 and 45 minutes depending on if I am working from home or at the office.

It is only since mobile phones that we expect people to be able to magic themselves places.

I can remember waiting for hours for my mum to pick me up after being sick. She had taken my pre-schooler brother round to a friend’s house for the day.

The irony was that the friend lived with her back garden backing onto the school fields and the school had their phone number as she also had kids at the school.

Of course YANBU. We have the same with DDs - we both work 1 hour away. School AND nursery have both said 'our policy is that someone has to be here sooner than that' or 'you have to be here within half an hour'. How? Charter a plane? Grow wings? Fucking ridiculous.

Years ago I got off my flight home from a work trip to San Francisco (late evening by this point) to find eight voicemails from DD’s school about a “concerning rash”. She was 5, and the calls escalated in hysteria, by the eighth message they sounded absolutely frantic and FURIOUS. I immediately called my DH from airport in a panic and he didn’t even know about it. Not only had school not called him, despite him being at home a 5min walk away the entire time (he’d taken the week off work to be home with kids), but school didn’t even mention it to him at pick up. DH never found the rash!

Bonkers. DH works an hour and a half away and I’m a surgeon so if I’ve just started an operation I’m uncontactable too. We have no family locally and all my friends work too.

One of those things thar I very much ignore.
My dds went to nearest school. I went to work in the nearest large town were there were actual jobs. Minimum of 45 mins and that's if I could take the call immediately.
Only twice in 5 years was I called. Maybe I should have spent those 5 years at home!

Obviously the school abu. I had this in the summer. The whole class had to be collected. It came on an email. I didn’t receive the email. They didn’t call and my friend collected her Ds and then called me to ask if she should get Ds. I work an hour away. Dh was 2 hours away. Mums don’t all just stay at home anymore.

Haha! And what if you were at work over an hour’s commute away like many are? What if you were in a meeting so you didn’t even take the call for at least an hour?

I was once in a different town when my DC was taken ill. I got there 20 minutes later and apologised for the delay, to be told ‘oh goodness don’t worry. We have parents at work in London, it can take them 2 hours to get here’

Your school is ridiculous!

I don't think the past 20 months has helped this situation though and, depending on cases in your area/school, they may well have panicked.
It doesn't make their suggestion any less unreasonable but it is something I can understand.

We have had children become unwell, feeling hot and coughing, and parents not picking them up for hours because someone at home is isolating and they can't leave them (the child in school had been pcr'd and negative but we all know that doesn't always stay that way).

Speaking as a Teacher, the school were being completely ridiculous - unless you sent your child to school knowing they were a bit under the weather & a call was a possibility.

We get very frustrated when parents aren't contactable by phone more or less immediately but are perfectly understanding about the fact that it may then take them a while to actually collect their child. We even suggest to parents coming to collect a poorly child near the end of the school day that they also take any siblings to avoid them having to come back out a short time later for another pick up.

Just to warn you this continues untill year 11. Even in secondary they carnt send them home without an adult if they feel ill.

Did they maybe misunderstand and think you meant you'd finish what you were doing and that would take 40 mins then you'd leave to get him?

They are bring completely unreasonable if they expect you to practically stand outside the school gate ready just in case!

This is such a primary school response, expecting parents to be sat at home at all times.

I work in a secondary and we understand parents have jobs/lives. We will ask if someone else can pick them up if parents are going to be a while, if not they just have to wait. Students often wait for an hour.

That is ridiculous. If you've been called and have gone directly to school to collect your child then the time taken was the unavoidable minimum time. School shouldn't be pissy about that: they are just being daft.

The only times it's an issue are when either:

• the parent gets the call and doesn't bother coming straight away (we've had parents say things like "Oh, I've just started Christmas shopping so I'll finish that and then come," leading to an unwell child waiting over 2 hours).

• they haven't thought about who is a reasonable contact and have put mum and dad down despite the fact neither can answer their phone during the day and grandparents are the ones who actually deal with drop offs and collections.

Is your DS going to school in the 1950? Even then lots of women did work.

@SleafordSods

Is your DS going to school in the 1950? Even then lots of women did work.

The op is male

I once left DD in the medical room for over 3 hours because I was taking my Nanna to an urgent appointment at her GP 15 miles away from school. I always ask school if it's an emergency and if the answer is no then I prioritise accordingly.

There's been a few days where DH and I both had to travel outside the county for work during the school day. I always crossed my fingers very much that THAT wouldn't be the day one of the kids would need picking up early.

I think 40 mins if that's how far away you were, was entirely reasonable OP.

@gingerbiscuits

Speaking as a Teacher, the school were being completely ridiculous - unless you sent your child to school knowing they were a bit under the weather & a call was a possibility.

We get very frustrated when parents aren't contactable by phone more or less immediately but are perfectly understanding about the fact that it may then take them a while to actually collect their child. We even suggest to parents coming to collect a poorly child near the end of the school day that they also take any siblings to avoid them having to come back out a short time later for another pick up.

I get that it’s frustrating if you can’t contact parents immediately, but as someone who takes the tube (deep line, underground) to work, I can’t necessarily pick up first time. Or even fifth time. Not until someone gets mobile phone signal right across the tube. I would actually be able to pick up a WhatsApp message (written, not a voicemail) at a station with WiFi, but there isn’t anywhere on the form to put that, so school doesn’t know. And it’s the same for DH, at commuting times.

The surgeon up-thread is in an even trickier position, as is anyone working somewhere secure where phones have to be left in a locker at the door.

@Larryyourwaiter

This is such a primary school response, expecting parents to be sat at home at all times.

I work in a secondary and we understand parents have jobs/lives. We will ask if someone else can pick them up if parents are going to be a while, if not they just have to wait. Students often wait for an hour.

Do people really expect primary school parents to sit around all day?

I get that it’s frustrating if you can’t contact parents immediately, but as someone who takes the tube (deep line, underground) to work, I can’t necessarily pick up first time. Or even fifth time. Not until someone gets mobile phone signal right across the tube. I would actually be able to pick up a WhatsApp message (written, not a voicemail) at a station with WiFi, but there isn’t anywhere on the form to put that, so school doesn’t know. And it’s the same for DH, at commuting times.

The surgeon up-thread is in an even trickier position, as is anyone working somewhere secure where phones have to be left in a locker at the door.

Which is why parents need to think very carefully about who they list as emergency contacts (if theu have options). Sometimes there needs to be a clear difference between parental contact and emergency contact.

I remember having to wait several hours for my parents to be able to come and get me from school when I was unwell - they both worked full-time in a hospital and couldn't just drop everything to get me!

Parents work, and not all parents work jobs where they can have their phones on them all the time. It's normal for schools to have to wait, surely?

Which is why parents need to think very carefully about who they list as emergency contacts (if theu have options). Sometimes there needs to be a clear difference between parental contact and emergency contact. I think the schools need to have space for writing specific instructions so this can be made clear then. It's no good just having space for a phone number.