Morning visitors

[SaturdaySummer]

Hello

Can I ask what time people think it's acceptable to visit in the morning? My MiL wanted to bring something for my husband. He explained that he would be out the night before and wouldn't be wanting an early visit. She then turned to me and said 'you'll be up with the baby' to which I said yeah but we won't be wanting visitors if daddy is sleeping and I'm trying to get baby ready'. I thought this was firm enough but apparently not.... here she is at 8am at our door. In all honesty I'm normally a bit of a people
Pleaser and would have let her come in despite all of the above and the house being a tip but I was annoyed with her blatantly ignoring our requests so I kept her at the door and didn't let her in. Is this unreasonable?

@Cherrysoup

8am? I’d be in bed still. She’s extremely rude to turn up at that time, particularly when your dh said he wanted a lie in and you have a newborn.

I think so too. Bad enough doing it when we asked her not to, but to then stand there waiting to be invited in...... wtf?

You are my hero OP. My blood pressure went up reading that.

I don't really understand the debate about it being too early. IMO that is irrelevant, you told her she wasn't welcome and she came anyway after telling you that you would be up. That's just dismissing you as if it's her sons house and she won't let you stop her coming when she sees fit. (Unless of course she's getting a little confused but you would have mentioned this.)

I have no PIL in the country now thankfully but I did have ex PIL living locally when I was younger with a then-DP and no kids. They were an absolute nightmare for this sort of stuff. They owned the apartment we lived in. An utter shitshow. I paid above market rent but my DP got a free pass most of the time.

So we were treated like guests in their place, they used their keys and came in for a nosy whenever they fancied it. I worked 60+ hour weeks but that didn't stop them assuming if they needed me at home the following morning to let in a tradesman or look at some fabric (I'm not kidding) with MIL I'd just sit in and wait. Multiple times I or DP said "do not ring the doorbell" for a solid reason yet there they would be ringing the doorbell, walking straight in, showing their friends around, pointing out the view. My DP never stood up to them as he had it good with the optional rent but this was an expensive area and I was putting a significant amount of my salary into funding his lifestyle. His father once walked uninvited into the bathroom and handed me a gstring in disdain suggesting I pick up my own personal items. I refused to take it.

I should have changed the locks citing my rights as a tenant. The luxury of hindsight.

@Nowomenaroundeh

You are my hero OP. My blood pressure went up reading that.

I don't really understand the debate about it being too early. IMO that is irrelevant, you told her she wasn't welcome and she came anyway after telling you that you would be up. That's just dismissing you as if it's her sons house and she won't let you stop her coming when she sees fit. (Unless of course she's getting a little confused but you would have mentioned this.)

I have no PIL in the country now thankfully but I did have ex PIL living locally when I was younger with a then-DP and no kids. They were an absolute nightmare for this sort of stuff. They owned the apartment we lived in. An utter shitshow. I paid above market rent but my DP got a free pass most of the time.

So we were treated like guests in their place, they used their keys and came in for a nosy whenever they fancied it. I worked 60+ hour weeks but that didn't stop them assuming if they needed me at home the following morning to let in a tradesman or look at some fabric (I'm not kidding) with MIL I'd just sit in and wait. Multiple times I or DP said "do not ring the doorbell" for a solid reason yet there they would be ringing the doorbell, walking straight in, showing their friends around, pointing out the view. My DP never stood up to them as he had it good with the optional rent but this was an expensive area and I was putting a significant amount of my salary into funding his lifestyle. His father once walked uninvited into the bathroom and handed me a gstring in disdain suggesting I pick up my own personal items. I refused to take it.

I should have changed the locks citing my rights as a tenant. The luxury of hindsight.

Omg I think you have had it FAR WORSE then me, I'm sorry you went through this. Talk about having no boundaries eh? I think people know this is wrong but choose to suit their own wishes at the expense of others simply because they think they're more important