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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Confident Families

138 replies

ShrikeAttack · 12/11/2021 04:05

My husband was wondering why me and my siblings are unusually confident. I think it was because we were exposed to lots of people from a young age. I think our parents had many and varied friends that were interested in us.

We also lived abroad for any years.

We were all very satisfied. We were all very pleased with ourselves.

OP posts:
Helenahandbasketbing · 12/11/2021 21:07

This is so weird. I recognise the OP’s name. They’re not an irregular poster.

NowEvenBetter · 13/11/2021 00:00

We were all very satisfied. We were all very pleased with ourselves
We were all very satisfied. We were all very pleased with ourselves
We were all very satisfied. We were all very pleased with ourselves
😄😄😄😄😄
Cool story.

GreyhoundG1rl · 13/11/2021 00:11

@ShrikeAttack

My husband was wondering why me and my siblings are unusually confident. I think it was because we were exposed to lots of people from a young age. I think our parents had many and varied friends that were interested in us.

We also lived abroad for any years.

We were all very satisfied. We were all very pleased with ourselves.

What's your AIBU?
PeriChristmas · 14/11/2021 06:21

@ShrikeAttack where are you?

Hesma · 14/11/2021 07:01

And your point is???????

Sosososotired · 14/11/2021 07:20

My kids are confident, as is my husband. I'm less confident but working in it, and have reasonable self esteem. But we are a quiet family of introverts as well.

The way you've written your post makes me think you equate loud/extroverted with confidence. To me that's not what confidence is.

Blurp · 14/11/2021 08:23

@MargaretThursday

My ILs can be like this. Thankfully dh the least like it.

They're totally convinced that them arriving means everyone is delighted and the party starts. They're quite convincing at times.
I remember dh commenting that his sibling had gone somewhere and they had (in my eyes) treated him in the same way as they treated the other 199 people who went through the doors over the course of time. He said "yes, but he is X!" and I fell about laughing and said "yes, he's one person to them, no more, no less than the other 199 people". I think that was the first time he realised that actually being a member of his family didn't entitle him to be treated in a special way.

I will also note that for someone who tells you how everyone is falling over themselves to be their best friend they have a remarkable difficulty getting things like babysitters.

I don't think that actually the "confident" look translates into actual friends when it matters, which is quite sad when you think about it.

My ILs are like this too! And yes, for such "wonderful" people, they have remarkable difficulty in making friends.
shallIswim · 14/11/2021 08:30

Oh god I know a family like this. They're really not as talented as they think they are but do a damn good job of convincing the rest of the world that they are. Dad and two grown sons are their worst. Everything is 'superb!', said in a loud booming voice. Sons are now army officers confidently bossing the 'men' around.
I'm not unconfident socially but they make me want to shrink into a corner.

VienneseWhirligig · 14/11/2021 08:32

I can put I on an Oscar winning performance of confidence, probably because of a privileged education and having some truly shit experiences which have toughened me up. But at heart I'm still a wreck from a working class background who is playing a part to fit in like I had to at school. So what looks like confidence masks huge anxiety and insecurity. I would love to be confident as you describe, it sounds way less exhausting.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 14/11/2021 08:58

@shallIswim

Oh god I know a family like this. They're really not as talented as they think they are but do a damn good job of convincing the rest of the world that they are. Dad and two grown sons are their worst. Everything is 'superb!', said in a loud booming voice. Sons are now army officers confidently bossing the 'men' around. I'm not unconfident socially but they make me want to shrink into a corner.
To be fair, we don't really know what the OP means by being very confident as she didn't return to enlighten us.

On other threads she talks of never feeling embarrassed and of being a terrific cook. Some people are hugely talented and confident, it must be nice.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 14/11/2021 14:20

I think @ShrikeAttack has had a crisis of (too much) confidence after her first post and fucked off to find a new, more appreciative (of her brilliance) audience.

Ari202 · 14/11/2021 14:23

What was the question?

AliceWo · 14/11/2021 14:43

@NowEvenBetter

We were all very satisfied. We were all very pleased with ourselves We were all very satisfied. We were all very pleased with ourselves We were all very satisfied. We were all very pleased with ourselves 😄😄😄😄😄 Cool story.
Made me laugh more than it should Grin
MsThinksAlot · 14/11/2021 14:56

I knew I recognised OP's name! She's the poster who posts 20 images of her hair and selfie on Style & Beauty threads.

Yes, yes you ARE very confident and pleased with yourself. I agree with that. Wine

50ShadesOfCatholic · 14/11/2021 16:48

@MsThinksAlot

I knew I recognised OP's name! She's the poster who posts 20 images of her hair and selfie on Style & Beauty threads.

Yes, yes you ARE very confident and pleased with yourself. I agree with that. Wine

I'm not sure it's a bad thing. We should all feel good about ourselves, but so many of us have been conditioned to think we're not good enough.

Feeling confident is different to arrogance, the assumption that we're better than others. It's just feeling comfortable in one's own skin.

MsThinksAlot · 14/11/2021 16:59

Yes I agree about the difference and that confidence isn't a bad thing.

I was confirming what the OP said now that I recognise her. I can see that she does feel pleased with herself and doesn't apologise for it, even if it comes across as odd sometimes.

Although I wonder what brought this thread on.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 14/11/2021 17:01

@MsThinksAlot

I agree it comes across a little odd, not reading the room.

Briarshollow · 14/11/2021 17:07

Oh wooooow. I knew I knew the name. A search proved to be extremely interesting. 😂

I think she has form for posting pissed so let’s assume this thread was another slip.

I only look good because I'm confident. I don't look in the mirror and see flaws. I look in the mirror and see a beautiful woman.

I like myself.

🤭

Briarshollow · 14/11/2021 17:08

I wonder if this thread will be furnished with a selection of selfies.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/11/2021 17:54

It's just feeling comfortable in one's own skin.
Absolutely, but that's usually done quietly, without any need to tell everyone how supremely comfortable you are.
Announcing that you're very confident, satisfied and pleased with yourself is something different entirely. Something not entirely pleasant.

NowEvenBetter · 14/11/2021 17:56

OP must be too busy kissing herself in the mirror, to come back to the thread. Her previous posts are hilarious. She had silent labours, painless, kids just squeezed out of her. 😂

DroopyClematis · 14/11/2021 18:26

What are you seeking OP?
Validation?
You seem to have answered your own question though.

Original poster
ShrikeAttack · 15/11/2021 01:29

Well that went well.

We're not 'cocky'

I probably mis-spoke when I said We're pleased with ourselves. I meant happy, comfortable. Relaxed.

OP posts:
Unreasonabubble · 15/11/2021 01:35

We all still think you are pissed Grin Grin Grin 🤣🤣🤣

Original poster
ShrikeAttack · 15/11/2021 01:39

And I did have silent labours. That doesn't mean I'm better than anyone. It's just a fact.

I only spoke about my silent labours because it's important to know every woman's experience is different.

I also speak about my multiple abortions.

I speak about lots of things.

I've also got a daughter who has ASD and have had an interesting time with social services. I've spoken about that too.

I've also spoken about how much easier it is for a confident person to navigate what I have had to. And how the system is entirely skewed in my favour.

OP posts: