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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandma present to teenage grandson for his birthday

236 replies

wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 04:05

My parents have given my son £50, an unwrapped options hot chocolate she got from the supermarket on the way to my place, some mince pies (wrapped as a gift) and some fudge also wrapped. He's 15. She said she didn't want to get him too much food as she knows he struggles with his weight (why buy him food items at all then) I can't help but think that apart from the money this is a strange present for a 15 year old boy. She hasn't even wrapped the hot chocolate and it was shoved in the gift bag at the last minute. I know they weren't sure what to get him but I think just giving him the money or an xbox voucher would have been better. Mince pies?!! The other grandparents have bought him thoughtful gifts they know he will like, which are tailored to his interests. I'm prepared to be flamed for this but I'm just thinking 🧐 how odd. For added context they are not hard up for cash and I know its the thought that counts but I'm not sure what to make of this. What do others think?

OP posts:
DillyDilly · 12/11/2021 09:57

£50 a perfect grandparent gift to a 15 yo. I’m guessing they thought, maybe it would be nice to include some sweets too and then thought, oh, maybe not sweet dad he’s conscious of his weight. Oh, maybe some piece-pies since it’s the time of year for them, might be better than a batrof chocolate. Oh, this fudge might be nice too. Then on the way to visit, she might have though, a hot chocolate sachet might be nice too.

Your parents sound lovely and thoughtful.

ImaginationStreet · 12/11/2021 09:57

I don't understand what your problem is, they've given him £50. Maybe in the past he's mentioned that he likes hot chocolate and mince pies.
Maybe the problem is actually your relationship with your parents.

EmeraldShamrock · 12/11/2021 10:00

Is options is low fat?
Echoing others people feel awkward just giving cash, it was clearly for bulking reasons.
I suspect the pies were for sharing.
If he struggles with his weight then it was a bit thoughtless.
I don't consider a DC weight when buying a gift.
I often throw in a packet of sweets in, getting him off the xbox will improve his weight too.

ImaginationStreet · 12/11/2021 10:02

Last Christmas we gave DS a jar of his favourite pickled onions and a pot noodle type thing (we did also get him his 'main' presents). They were just jokey little presents that I knew he would eat.
And I've already got another jar of pickled onions stashed for his present this year.

Mumski45 · 12/11/2021 10:12

Seems perfectly normal to me. I often send money plus a few foodie treats as a birthday present for a teenager. It's not their fault if he struggles with his weight and these treats aren't going to make a massive difference to him but he will enjoy them which is the point. If he doesn't like mince pies he care share them out.

Lollolloll · 12/11/2021 10:12

“It's not that hard to buy for teens. It's fine to be a bit confused at mince pies and a sachet of options. It doesn't make the OP at all ungrateful.”

Please share your wisdom! I have 2 teen dd’s and find them hard enough! Even when I know what they’re in to!

And teen boys are even harder. We buy for a friend’s son who doesn’t like sweets or chocolate. Usually we get a gift card but like to add a couple of bits to open (as they do for our girls). They add sweets or chocolates or body sprays etc. We always struggle for their son. Body spray? (not very exciting for boys!), socks? (The same).

It’s really hard so would appreciate some novel ideas!!

DeepaBeesKit · 12/11/2021 10:14

I wouldnt buy food, especially calorie laden food, for a young person struggling with weight.

Whereismumhiding3 · 12/11/2021 10:17

PPs are missing the point made earlier, when saying it's a weird combination of food stuff

MIL gave teenager money
The rest was snacks in a bag so he had something physical to open or have
My Teenagers love those kind of snacks as they don't have to ask to eat them nor share them. It's irrelevant about weight of DS, those few items once a year foe a treat aren't an issue

5128gap · 12/11/2021 10:18

@amsadandconfused

TBH I do understand where OP is coming from . £50 is generous but the food choices a bit random . Mince pies are for Christmas not birthday.hot choc and fudge just a bit strange!! Also, I would be annoyed if my son was struggling with weight !
Given the OP said that the food items are what she puts in her standard weekly shop, I think she would be very unreasonable to be annoyed. If he struggles with his weight, its not going to be food he receives on his birthday thats the cause.
Original poster
wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 10:22

For everyone attacking me about his weight it was DM who had mentioned it, not me. I didn't understand why she was buying him food presents yet in the same sentence mentioning his 'weight problem'. Of course I wouldn't deny him treats on his birthday. And for the umpteenth time I agree the 50 quid is a generous present. I'm not ungrateful, overthinking, frightful, dreadful or any other such abusive comments. I just think it's odd to have supplemented the money with the extras she has brought. I think maybe if the mince pies were not wrapped up and in a gift bag it wouldn't have been so odd. Of course I've said thankyou and shown my gratitude towards them. No one's feelings have been hurt. I am allowed to have an opinion and it doesn't make me ungrateful. I'm sure loads of posters on here have experienced an odd present they weren't expecting. I was just asking for other people's opinions. Yes it's not a big deal but obviously it's been discussion worthy looking at the length of the thread. My son will be opening his presents in a couple of days so I'll let you know what he thinks. If I'm feeling brave enough to come back onto this thread lol

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 12/11/2021 10:24

I would have been more than happy with money and a couple of yummy treats at that age (and, indeed now!)

Cryalot2 · 12/11/2021 10:24

£50 and some food items . Yes someome of it was the cheap stuff Hmm. It doesn't matter, maybe she liked it and thought he would.
It is common to get foody items as gifts along with something else with dd and her friends who are quite a bit older than your son. We often get them as Christians presents.
Ok they weren't beautifully wrapped, but perhaps she thought that was too twee for teen boys.

You should really tell your mum how you feel so she doesn't get it wrong again.
Be specific at what you think is suitable and how it should be wrapped.

I think your mùm was kind and very generous and you your son is very privileged to get such.

So many get very little or nothing .

Original poster
wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 10:27

@montysma1

Get over yourself. The world does not revolve around your sons birthday. Not even Grannys world.
🙄
OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 12/11/2021 10:33

My DM gives gifts like this. Somethings I think she's passing on because she doesn't want, others she has bought, and spend a reasonable amount of money on them, but they are for one reason or another of no use to the person receiving them.

It's the thought that counts. She means well.

One of my fears is becoming a crazy old lady who gives totally inappropriate gifts.

Pippi1970 · 12/11/2021 10:53

@Whereismumhiding3

PPs are missing the point made earlier, when saying it's a weird combination of food stuff

MIL gave teenager money
The rest was snacks in a bag so he had something physical to open or have
My Teenagers love those kind of snacks as they don't have to ask to eat them nor share them. It's irrelevant about weight of DS, those few items once a year foe a treat aren't an issue

My teens don't have to ask me if they want a mince pie or a hot chocolate. If it's in the house they can have it. Mine would feel a bit disappointed to open a heavy ish wrapped present and find a pack of mince pies in there. It would be like being given a loaf of bread. Mince pies are just something we have around at Christmas tbh in no way a birthday treat, but I appreciate that must be different for some judging by a lot of the posts on here.
Saoirse82 · 12/11/2021 11:18

The oddest thing about this gift is that you came here to post about it.

I agree with the above. You sound very ingratitude, I hope you aren't reaching that attitude to your son. You also post they aren't hard up for cash? So what were you expecting? £50 is a very generous gift!

Saoirse82 · 12/11/2021 11:19

*ungrateful

JumperandJacket · 12/11/2021 11:23

£50 is a great gift, my DS would love that. Pretty normal to give a cash gift with something edible for presentation purposes (I'm giving my DC cash for their birthdays soon and have wrapped it up with a giant chocolate bar).

The Options sachet is a bit weird, sure, but nothing to mind about. My grandmother once gave my father a half-drunk bottle of whisky.

justswaying · 12/11/2021 11:23

My niece often asks for a jar of pickled onions or gherkins. So I get those alongside her 'main' gift.

Honestly you're overthinking it. Especially as he hasn't even received the gift yet!
Obviously the money is the main gift and the other bits are fillers. Often people don't like to give a gift you can't unwrap (ie. Money) so a token gift alongside is perfect.

521Jeanie · 12/11/2021 11:32

He's got £50; if he doesn't want the strange selection of food items you can use them and it will give the family something to have a laugh about for years to come! Grandparents can be weird.

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/11/2021 11:35

Nobody wraps gifts before putting them in a gift bag, the bag is the wrapping.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 12/11/2021 11:38

I think it sounds quite sweet. She obviously didn't think the very generous £50 looked enough like a proper gift so tried to pad it out with some physical items. The fudge and mice pies can be shared with the family of course. The hot choc sachet is a bit random but you sometimes see mugs + hot choc sachets as a suggested gift item so maybe this is where she got the inspiration.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 12/11/2021 11:39

and yeah, the joy of a gift bag is not having to wrap stuff. I might put some tissue paper in though if I have it.

EmeraldShamrock · 12/11/2021 11:48

PPs are missing the point made earlier, when saying it's a weird combination of food stuff
Really? I love a mince pie with a hot chocolate I'd be a bit piss'd off she didn't supply the cream though.

Pippi1970 · 12/11/2021 11:51

Maybe the problem is actually your relationship with your parents

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