Grandma present to teenage grandson for his birthday

[wobblywinelover]

My parents have given my son £50, an unwrapped options hot chocolate she got from the supermarket on the way to my place, some mince pies (wrapped as a gift) and some fudge also wrapped. He's 15. She said she didn't want to get him too much food as she knows he struggles with his weight (why buy him food items at all then) I can't help but think that apart from the money this is a strange present for a 15 year old boy. She hasn't even wrapped the hot chocolate and it was shoved in the gift bag at the last minute. I know they weren't sure what to get him but I think just giving him the money or an xbox voucher would have been better. Mince pies?!! The other grandparents have bought him thoughtful gifts they know he will like, which are tailored to his interests. I'm prepared to be flamed for this but I'm just thinking 🧐 how odd. For added context they are not hard up for cash and I know its the thought that counts but I'm not sure what to make of this. What do others think?

From a grandparent viewpoint, it’s a minefield. One of my grandsons has a big birthday and will end up with money, because there isn’t anything he can think of as a ‘keeping’ gift.

I’ve thought about it for ages, asked his parents and no one has come up with any suggestions. If it was me, I’d enjoy having something that I could keep, like a watch or signet ring, but it’s not about what I want, so cash it will be.

Cash is fine!

OP yes it's a bit weird te the mince pies, but teenaged kids are hard to buy for. No doubt he'll be chuffed with the pressie though. Scoff the pies, spend the dosh and say Thankyou, of course

It’s slightly odd, but combined with the fifty quid not un-generous or worthy of complaining about.

TBH I do understand where OP is coming from . £50 is generous but the food choices a bit random . Mince pies are for Christmas not birthday.hot choc and fudge just a bit strange!! Also, I would be annoyed if my son was struggling with weight !

I never wrap items in a gift bag and no one I know does - we put them in a gift bag and reuse it. How do you know shoved unless bag ripped. Money and a few bits is exactly what my mum does for us.
£50 and hot choc sounds nice. It’s £4 unless it’s on offer my 15 year old loves it. If he’s watching his weight then it seems a nice choice.
Mince pies bit random but assume he likes them if not save for Christmas saves you buying some.

I was always chuffed to receive £20 in a card from my paternal grandparents every birthday. They are long since dead but I'm comforted by that small gesture, they never forgot. My maternal grandparents never sent me anything, they are still alive and it's like we are strangers.

Does it matter about the gift? At least they remembered. I guess it's about the relationship they have with your son, is it generally good? If so, that's the most important thing. One day they'll be gone and the only thing your son will be left with are the memories that he was important to them.

@Pippi1970 course it's hard to buy for teens if you aren't their parents. My husband's cousin is 18 now but the past few years trying to buy a gift for him has been hard. Unless you have a teen of your own and know exactly what is and isn't "in" and what they specifically like it's hard. My grandparents would have struggled and I stayed at their house every weekend as a teen, so it wasn't like they didn't see us.

They sound nice. With the £50 it just sounds like they wanted to give something tangible and this cropped up in their head. Would you have rather they didn't give anything else?

My grandma was epically shit at presents, we laugh about it now (think body cream 15 years out of date, half used bottles of stuff etc)

God Almighty, they are old, HOW the hell are they meant to know what a teen likes? €50 quid and food. They probably thought that was safe as most teenage boys food. Why on earth would you come on here and ask others if they also think this present is shit. They bought what they though he would like. They know he likes food but didn't want to buy him too much because of his weight. They sound like they were really trying to me. Giving him some treats but being aware not to give him too much and a generous cash gift aswell. Absolutely nothing to complain about. I cannot fathom this post. They even went to the trouble of wrapping it, they obviously thought they were doing well. Hugely ungrateful to slag off their gift.

@Pippi1970

I wouldn't dream of giving a box of mince pies to a 15 year old as a birthday gift, but clearly I've been doing it wrong as the majority of replies are saying their teens would love it

I'm interested to see what his reaction is going to be like when he unwraps it. To me it's a bit like wrapping up a tin of baked beans. Yes my son likes them but they're not his passion. I don't really understand why I'm being attacked as being some sort of dreadful 'jaw droppingly' ungrateful person when I've already said that the money they've given is generous. And I'm not 'worked up' or 'overthinking' or being dramatic either. It was just a post I started to get some opinions. The drama on here is unbelievable 😳

Put the food in a donation box if you're that bothered.

@Jumpalicious

Thoughtless ref all the food. A generally thoughtless present but since it’s a lot of money it seems “ok”. You’re upset because it’s clear your parents aren’t really thinking about your son (the food side is particularly thoughtless). I get it. I know this is hardly akin to child abuse, but the point is that it’s not the sign of a warm thoughtful parent, and you know you’d spend more effort with other people’s bdays.

My mum is same. she gets my brother to transfer some cash into my account and that’s it (if she remembers). She probably thinks she’s so generous, done her bit etc. In fact, she knows nothing about my kids…

Thankyou! Yes you put into words what I've been thinking, thankyou for understanding

Yes I agree OP

And all those saying teens are hard to buy for - these are his GPS, they should know him well enough to be able to think of something and if not then ask!

But as the OP has said the money is very generous.

Get over yourself. The world does not revolve around your sons birthday. Not even Grannys world.

My sister has given the most random gifts over the years. As a family we treat it as a game - guess what auntie S has given me this year? And all have a gentle giggle afterwards. Probably my the best approach, rather than feeling hurt and taking it personally. She does it to all of us! DS's birthday is in January and he used to get her I wanted Xmas presents - think floral soaps and scented candles! We just laugh

£50 is a lot of money. I really wouldn't complain.

I honestly cannot believe that you've posted this. You sound frightful. Your poor mum has put together what she thinks is a nice gift - she might have got it wrong, but FFS it's the thought that counts.

I literally can't think of any context that i would ever post something like this. Sometimes my mum gets a gift for me/my children which is slightly off the mark, but i've probably done the same before to others. As long as a present is bought with love and care, that's all that matters.

You sound so, so ungrateful.

Actually MN in general is getting me down this year. The amount of posts about family arguments, moaning about gifts etc. I might have to take myself off until Feb!!!

And my DD has a fully blown ED. Been five years of difficulty but slowly recovering (will never be cured). I wouldn't ever blame anyone who gave her edible treats.
And nor would she. How are people to understand it? especially if they're an older generation.

I honestly cannot believe that you've posted this. You sound frightful

My parents always like their grandchildren to have "something to unwrap", so they might do this. They give them £50 and then a few little things they might like.

Hot chocolate and mince pies do seem quite random, but I would suspect he's been at theirs, had a mince pie and said "Oh, I love these" and that's that in their heads for all eternity. If the hot chocolate is in one of the tubs like Cadbury's, that's awkward to wrap.

I wouldn't think too much into it!

@wobblywinelover why not just swap out the mince pies for a box of celebrations? You sad he’s not seen it yet so that might just be the sensible option.

This has reminded me, I was once at my grandparents' house and they offered me those pink wafer biscuits and said "Oh, sorry we don't have any chocolate biscuits, you'll have to make do with these". I, trying to be super polite, said "Oh, no, I love these, they're really nice and we never have them at home!".

Guess what I got every time I visited from then on?

@CiaoEB

Isn’t the £50 the money part and the extra stuff is just thrown in as a bonus? My kids would be happy with that, money and food sounds like a great present to be honest. And never try and compare what different people give as gifts then find fault with it, that’s a no win situation there.

Yeah, the £50 is the present, which is fine. The other stuff is just little treats. It's not like mince pies are the main present!