Do you know anyone who hasn’t been in a relationship?

[IStoppedBelieving]

Or had sex?

What are they like?
How old are they?

And also, would you judge someone who hasn’t?

@IStoppedBelieving - sorry - the one last week was a bit brutal, this seemed like a 'people not in a relationship and not wanting to be are strange/weird' type of thread.

I have one friend who has had plenty of sex but no relationships - she is 28 so still plenty of time. I suppose I find it a bit odd because I'm the same age and have had 3 serious relationships with quite a few early starters that fizzled out after a few months/lots of dates etc. But she is happy.

Another one is a guy I recently slept with. He's 38, very attractive in a rugged workman way, has a decent job therefore decent pay, is a popular guy around town, smells amazing, good in bed. Yet he's never had a girlfriend, even he can't explain it. I find it strange as he is such a catch. The only thing is that he still lives with him mum but I don't think that would put me off too much as he's working and I'd assume saving.

Oh and he drinks every weekend. Like out at the pubs from afternoon to early am. So yeah that probably is a factor.

[quote ThinWomansBrain]@IStoppedBelieving - sorry - the one last week was a bit brutal, this seemed like a 'people not in a relationship and not wanting to be are strange/weird' type of thread.[/quote]
Oh, I would never!
Glad I didn’t see that.

There seems to be a view, that if you aren’t in a relationship there is something wrong with the person.
I hate that.

I’ve met plenty of people with plenty ”wrong” with them who are in a relationship.

Yes- me!
Early 30s never had a serious relationship. Medical condition will make having a sexual relationship more complicated.
Never been good a making friends let alone having a romantic relationship. Possibly am Autistic. Currently contemplating having an assessment.
Can't stand OLD and don't go anywhere/ do anything where I would meet someone.
I'm happy enough on my own

@ThinWomansBrain

Great - another asexual bashing thread - it's only about a week since the last one 🥱

Great, another poster labelling people as one group, who they know nothing about on an individual personal level 🥱

Me!!!

Never had sex/ been kissed/ been in a relationship and am 34 now. Never had the slightest bit of interest in any of it - and whilst I appreciate it's my own opinion I would think I'm "normal" - good job, friends, nieces/ nephews I adore, hobbies etc.

Just have no interest in a relationship.

Yes. Me. Mid 50s and haven't had sex or a relationship since my mid twenties. I don't know whether its because like attracts like but I have at least 10 female friends in the same situation and we support and socialise with each other.

And before anyone asks I'm on mumsnet because it makes fun reading 🙂

I hadn't had a relationship, or had sex until I met my husband.

I was shy, and was always 'the ugly one' amongst my group of friends. I met him online.

My sister. She's mid 40s. Never had a relationship. I've never asked if she's had sex, figured she would share if she wanted to. She puts a good face on it but I know she would have loved to have a family and kids and so I feel sad for her about that. I don't understand why she's single, she's really attractive (prettier than me) kind, good heart. I kind of think she just never met the right person. I don't judge. I'm envious in ways as she's off overseas to work soon and I could never do that with my husband/kids.

I know a few people who were in their 30s before getting into a relationship. All perfectly normal people, who (usually down to quite serious shyness/reserve) never started dating in their teens, and then found it harder and harder to start, because of the social stigma of being an adult with no romantic or sexual experience. I suspect it happens more than you think, people just keep quiet about it.
All the people I knew in this position eventually met someone and had long term (even if not permanent) relationships.

Me. I'm 43.

I know two people who haven't been in relationships. One, a woman, pines after unavailable men from her past and has developed a deep (non sexual) friendship with a bloke who will never commit. My bet is he'll get into his late 40s and marry a woman in her 30s and settle down.

You know the type. Always some reason they won't commit then bam in their late 40s they meet someone younger and settle down, leaving female friends of a similar age high and dry if they want a family.

The other just has crippling self esteem issues not helped by overbearing friends setting him up one awful dates with their friends.

I find this thread quite sad with many people talking about feeling sorry for someone and how they've missed out. And shock at someone nor having been in a relationship at 30. That's just graduated uni with a few years of work and is still young. Do people still think like this nowadays?
People often choose not to enter relationships for many reasons including not finding someone interesting enough, being focused on a career, not wanting the drama of a relationship, not finding dating activities enjoyable etc... There are heaps of reasons a person may just not choose to enter a relationship. I can't imagine that anyone would judge another person's sex life / relationship status or think that it has anything to do with them in any way whatsoever What a strange thing to think that you could pass judgement for in another person's life I know many people who are in their 30s and 40s and older who haven't wanted a relationship. I think in modern times with amazing work and travel opportunities where people can meet great friends like them that a lot of people don't feel the need the need for a relationship. Not everyone sees benefits! People not actively in relationships with kids might also have a better lifestyle with travel, money and lots of time to be and have great friends.

I assume there you're the person who has never had a relationship OP? Don't give anyone elses thoughts a moment's consideration. Perhaps you have lots of other things going on and don't feel the need? Or if you might want a relationship (or are unsure) then sign up for online dating. Chat to potential partners and go on a few dates. You might decide that you're not missing much Or you might find it's for you. The key thing here is that if it makes you unhappy in your life then do something about it for you. Online dating is a low pressure way to get started so have a go. Perhaps it could also confirm that you don't want a relationship. Anyone in your life who judges you for this is not worth even considering. Happily wave your bankbook at them and remind them that you'll be heading off of your next abroad holiday to have fun while they negotiate holiday destinations with their partner. Enjoy your life while you're single and try dating if you want to change things.

I have wondered about my brothers who are still single in their 40's (at least I've never seen a love interest), not going to ask though.

I have a dear friend who has never had a relationship. Plenty of flings, but by mid 40's nothing longer than a few weeks. Not asexual at all. She's a larger lady, very bright, beautiful, successful, and she has had offers, but mostly been rejected by the very rare men she has really liked and stopped trying some years ago. I feel bad saying she's missed out, but she's been honest that she has had to work hard to carve out a full life to avoid some loneliness as we all moved to family life. She doesn't want children, which I suspect has made it easier to remain choosy, but I do worry about her. That isn't judgement, far from it. I have other friends in horrendous relationships who would have been better in her position by far.

I love her dearly and am impressed by the life she's made but I know she is lonely sometimes and I would love for her to have someone to worship her as she deserves.

I was 33 before I had a proper relationship, and I married him. I'd bounced between FWB, one night stands etc through my teens and twenties. So yes , I'd had sex but no meaningful relationship at all.

Not weird IMO or experience. Lots of similar experiences amongst my friendship group.

A friend of mine is in her 50s and has never been in a relationship. It just never happened for her. Why anyone would judge her is beyond me.

yes, a cousin. Lovely woman, in her early 40s, slim, attractive. Hard to describe but she's not very good at dealing with bumps in the road - has resigned from lots of jobs over small issues, has left housing over minor problems - and I just don't think that she is well-equipped for the ups and downs of a LTR. She's dated but nothing ever quite lives up to her ideal, I think.

One of my best friends - he's 68 now, and I've known him since he was 23. I think he may have had brief flings when travelling in his youth, but he settled in a very rural location and never met any women who were single. He's surrounded by family - nephew, niece, cousins - far more than I am (though I have DH) - and friends, of course. He seems very happy - enjoys his own company and takes an almost childlike delight in the nature around him - goes walking on the beach most days, joins us for meals once every couple of weeks, chats with me online in between. As I'm typing this I realise I actually have two friends like this - the other one is in his late 40s and also lives locally, here on the edge of Europe. Must be something about the area! They're both lovely men - and I don't feel sorry for them because they both seem very happy!

My friend is 30 never been in a relationship and apparently not a virgin

I have a friend who has never dated, been in a relationship. She isn’t shy, I don’t know what the reason is, she is late 40s, just never met the right person I guess.
I was a late starter, I was really shy and self conscious in my late teens / early 20s. Thought I’d be single forever and was a bit sad about it. Got to the point a guy I really liked asked me out and I said no as I was too embarrassed about my lack of experience. Don’t know what changed at about 23, but I came completely out of my shell and made up for lost time, met my husband then at 30 and settled down.

I work with one, she is 60 and a pretty hateful person. I've known her for 20 years and she never changes.
I dont think she would be able to tolerate a relationship and is very religious.

Absolutely wouldn't judge anyone, in fact I am more likely to judge people who put up with terrible relationships and keep having children 'because it's the thing to do' - and yes, I do know people like that.

My DB is mid 50s, as far as I am aware he has never had a long term relationship- unless he is very good at hiding it. He leads the most fantastic life not jealous, able to pay off his mortgage, retire early, lovely home by the sea, wide range of interests and friends .... I certainly don't feel at all sorry for him.

A friend in her 40s. Ironically, it's because she is a romantic with a huge capacity for love and loyalty. She's loved someone from afar for years and part of her still hopes that he will turn up on his white charger and sweep her off her feet. He's wasted a lot of time if that's his intention. She'd have been a great mother but has lavished her love on nieces and nephews instead.

That said, my romantic relationships have been pretty superficial. I have a child due to one of them, which I'm grateful for, but apart from that, I'm not convinced I've done better than she has.