Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

I’ve a Yr6 and we get texts and emails but we’re not overloaded with them. Some of our parents were complaining that they hadn’t realised that the PTA had raised money for a new facility and were getting quite vocal about why weren’t they told? I knew - I’d read the bloomin email!!

YABU to say shouldn’t they teach your children and basically leave you alone - children get far better outcomes if parents also help them to read and write and encourage homework/take an interest in the school etc. I accept you may be being tongue in cheek about this though.

You’re not being unreasonable about WhatsApp groups and eternal requests for things though- it just feels like another massive headache to try and remember it all. It’s not that new however, while there didn’t used to be WhatsApp groups we still had mufti days, dress up for Comic Relief and Children in Need, inset days, concerts, fetes, bazaars, school discos and trips to be remembered by parents when I was at school 25 years ago.

@WimpoleHat

I had exactly this conversation with my DH last night. I think you have one group of parents who are desperate to be involved in every little thing and will turn up to school for the opening of an envelope. And they end up being the loudest voices…..

Absolutely this. I always attended parents' evening, sports day and the Christmas Concert but otherwise have always been largely oblivious to all things school related. As long as our DDs were happy and doing well I just wasn't remotely interested in all the other guff.

Once our DDs were at grammar school I couldn't have reliably named a single one of their teachers and for quite a long while was oblivious to the fact they had a new HT! They were happy and their teachers were always complimentary about them at parents' evening. So yeah, job done.

But know of so many other parents who seem to live and breathe the school and have intimate knowledge of all the political undercurrents. They always seem to know who is doing what, where and when and they always know why!

Yep!

Inundated with mostly pointless messages, yet I have zero clue what they are actually learning or how they are doing.

I'd much prefer a note at the bottom of the book bag - at least you can read it at your leisure and it only arrives once a day.

Sometimes the teachers say things to the kids ot parents, its not ever written down. Sometimes its email, or text or the app. So you have to keep an eye in all of them. And sometimes they put important information solely up on their website, so obviously we have to be psychic about knowing when to check it.

It all feels very unprofessional.

Yanbu.

The mistake you both made though, was thinking you could both work full time when your dc started primary, and maintain any kind of quality of life. You can't.

Worse still, the secondary has my daughter using 14 (yes, you read that right, 14) different websites/apps/programs etc for her homework.

Ha, yes, my daughter has 9 at last count. She’s not bothered at all though, they’re used to it and certain apps are better for certain subjects.

I am so, so very glad my DC are now at secondary.

Although we get some school stuff its nowhere near as much as primary.

All those demands on your time and energy. TBH I used to ignore most of it and just dealt with the essential stuff

Funnily enough,as I typed my two sentences above on my phone, Popped up...a notification from school about children in need, a notification from other dc school about covid, and a WhatsApp about Christmas collection.

It's the life admin that people with children not yet in school don't understand, it takes about 1 hour per day.

@cowburp They pay 50p a text for this nonsense?

Absolutely not the point of the thread but only if they're idiots. I just checked the mass-text system we use at work (not a school!) and we sent 300 last week for less than £6.

Problem is, for every parent thinking 'people stop with the fucking messages' there's another parent thinking 'I wonder what the school is doing for children in need.' School can't win.

Our school is the same, it drives me mad. We have texts, emails, then 4 different apps where different things are shared, when anything is sent on the apps you also get an email and a text, but then you get messages sent over text and they will also call too if the 4 apps, texts and emails isn't enough. I have 2 kids there, I feel like my head is going to explode somedays. I once moaned on a class WhatsApp that I thought it was all too much and someone snitched to the head who then rang me to discuss the overkill with the apps, texts, emails 🤣 45 minutes of my life I will never get back.

You aren't alone. I feel jealous of my parents, they got a letter every now and again to let them know about things, they waved us off at 9am and didn't expect to hear anything from school unless you were sick.

I don’t mind the frequent and duplicated info but having a school uniform and then every other week being asked to dress in PJs, yellow hat, wear something red etc is a pain, as well as £1 here and there for various school costs. Would rather donate £20 at the start of September than have to keep remembering extra things.

Yeah, the working mother’s scavenger hunt.

YANBU our schools use the ‘school ping’ app and for every ping message I receive, for some reason, it also gets sent to my email- twice!!! By 11am Today I had already received 4 pings and 8 emails, it’s infuriating.
It’s frustrating too that they send all school letters out through ping in a traditional letter format that is not designed for reading on a phone, so you have to zoom right in then scroll across to read each line.

@DriftingBlue

The volume doesn’t bother me. You learn to manage it just like the onslaught of emails at work. It’s the imprecision. Dates will not match the day of the week. Requests will be made for supplies like a pencil box, which come in a variety of sizes and materials and in reality there is only one size and material that will fit in the space allocated in the classroom. There is also the assumption that we know what things are or mean with the use of acronyms or announcement of programs without explaining what they are for people new to the school.

This is what does my head in! Whoever sends out the comms in our primary needs to learn to double check stuff before it is sent out - I'm sure they are terribly busy, but they would halve their work load if they then didn't have to send out the email/text again with the correct date/ attachment attached etc etc.

It's the curse of the ease of communication so it's overused.

Problem is, for every parent thinking 'people stop with the fucking messages' there's another parent thinking 'I wonder what the school is doing for children in need.' School can't win.

That's fine, parents can log onto a site or app, which will display messages and a calendar, and they choose whether they get a notification, or an email to say there is new content.

It really doesn't have to be the meal that schools often make of it.

It's the life admin that people with children not yet in school don't understand, it takes about 1 hour per day.

Really?

I’ve had 2 texts and 4 emails today. There’s no way I’d spend an hour on them, what are you doing for it to take so long? I just skim read. Lots aren’t relevant, quickly put a couple of dates in my calendar, took a few minutes.

Hear hear!

Parents evening
Wear red against racism
Dress up for census day
Money wanted for historical display
Choir
Sport club
Rock Band
Reminders about how to queue round the block ()
Lost property
Covid count
Odd socks for anti bullying day
Children in need
Weekly news letter
Pastoral letter
Staff member leaving
Staff member joining
Flue vaccination permission request
Reminder for ordering meals
School photo reminder
Poppy day reminder
Harvest festival tins wanted
Plastic milk cartons wanted
Book swap day
Fireworks tickets
Request for volunteer readers
Job vacancies
PE day changes
Forest school old clothes reminder
Requests for school uniform no longer needed
Duke of Edinborough scheme class reminders

That's 30 emails i can recall off the top of my head in the 2 weeks or so.

THEN we have all the home work reminders for messages on class dojo and Google Classroom.

I freely admit some of these are important - but bloody hell .... so many?

When i see the school name on an email i'm like What Bloody Now????

@SkipIntro

It's the life admin that people with children not yet in school don't understand, it takes about 1 hour per day.

Really?

I’ve had 2 texts and 4 emails today. There’s no way I’d spend an hour on them, what are you doing for it to take so long? I just skim read. Lots aren’t relevant, quickly put a couple of dates in my calendar, took a few minutes.

😂😂😂 Bingo.

Could be a lot worse. DS is 25. When he started at school it was paperwork. Forms, cheques, envelopes, newsletters, etc

And YES to the mistakes meaning half of the above will arrive a second or third time with the dates changed to correct ones or the attachments actually attached!

My primary age kids have five admin apps (dojos, parent pay, booking for parents, booking for wrapround care, and the food ordering one) plus 9 or 10 educational apps, reading record book, actual book to read, phonics folder and randomly set optional homework

Plus cubs, band, after-school club.

Thankfully most things come on Dojo but often as files that don't download and almost always with the wrong date/time/year group shown.

The Parents whatsapp is far better - super organised SAHP parent always collars the teacher and confirms the details and shares with the group.

It's the life admin that people with children not yet in school don't understand, it takes about 1 hour per day.
How many kids do you have that you're spending 5 hours a week on reading school communication?

And the headteacher also send several 'inspirational messages' and bible quotes a week to all parents.

I’d rather set up a standing order for £25/month than donate a pound every day of the month for this dress up day or that.