Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

YANBU
My oldest also started school in reception and it's ridiculous.
I've worked in marketing and communications and find it shockingly unprofessional.
If I'd spammed my mailing lists the way the school office does, I'd have been out of a job.
How hard can it be to collate all the information into one weekly email?! With the very occasional one off extra email for genuinely urgent and important things.

Unfortunately it's just the way it is. As schools are increasingly doing more for families there will , of course , be more communication.

It’s definitely information overload and I think the fact it is so easy technology-wise for schools to send it all out is partly to blame.

If emails, texts etc didn’t exist I think there would be a lot more restraint - school staff would actually think ‘do I want to print out 90 letters reminding of children in need day?’ or whatever. Or at least everything would be collated into a weekly newsletter.

It’s the constant drip drip of info, some of which is important, that I find difficult to cope with.

It's normal but it is hard to keep track of it all.

This is why I've stayed part time even once the dc went to school. I can't keep up with it all and it all falls to me of course.

It's every week that there's a dress up day, event, special assembly.

Not complaining on the whole I enjoy being part of school life but these days women are expected to hold down demanding full time jobs and still sort all that stuff.

So glad the school days are behind me now.

Yanbu. Our school had really backed off since covid. Or maybe I'm used to it after 2nd child being in school. No more dressing up days etc, such a relief.

YANBU @monotonousmum

My youngest moved to a new primary half way through and the new primary PTA (so not even the school) was constantly sending texts, emails, letters and FB posts with what all essentially boiled down to “give us more money this week please.” There was literally something on every single week and with your child being the new kids it was very hard to say no you can’t buy this tat or this junk food or those tickets again this week.

I had exactly this conversation with my DH last night. I think you have one group of parents who are desperate to be involved in every little thing and will turn up to school for the opening of an envelope. And they end up being the loudest voices…..

It's worth remembering that schools can win sometimes.

Eldest's primary school sent out lots of reminders about everything. I was grateful for it, reminders of nom uniform days were sent out at 8am.

Youngest at a different primary seem to have more events but they only tell you once. Newsletters are adhoc. I've almost missed things.

If they didn't hold many events some parents would complain.

I totally relate 😂🙄😉

The problem is that schools can't win.

If they send out a paper letter, people complain.
If they send out a calendar with dates for the next half term, people complain and then act like school were unreasonable for not reminding them.
If they post on social media, some people will complain (even though nobody forces them to follow school on several platforms).
If schools don't sent texts and parents miss something, there's inevitably parents complaining that their DC missed out.

WhatsApp groups between parents are for parents to sort out though.

My school use ParentMail and ParentPay for contact and that seems to work well. We also put dates on the website and publish the calendar online. I think it's a good middle ground, but some people still complain that we didn't specifically contact them to let them know that trials for the Year 8 athletics team were on Wednesday. The idea that students listen to student notices that are read out in assembly each morning is apparently unreasonable.

Yanbu. The dds school was entirely piece of fucking paper run until we got a new head in 19 who stamped out all this shit and bought some tech. All comms is virtual and only on school money and dojo. I actually love her. I've joined the governors now I like the head so much. She even moved the parents evening booking online instead of the over worked office staff having to sift through 300 forms all requesting the same time. Now it's 1st come 1st served at 8am for slots. The pushback from parents on this was massive and she rightfully ignored it.

Dd1 is now at a grammar that send everything by email for parents and expect the kids to organise their own mufti etc it's great.

I've noticed the ridiculous staggered start for reception is worse in areas where there are sahp. If most are working the schools don't bother - ours didnt.

Last term was particularly bad as we were also getting warn and inform letters at least once per week! I’ve laughed out loud at this thread, it’s so true and not really a dig at the school, I think they have tried to do more events to make up for last year but it’s hard work keeping on top of everything isn’t it!?

Remember as well that a lot of these reminders are sent by different people , from different departments , about a range of topics. These people are totally overworked and often do things on the fly.

It's not a perfect system at all I agree , but texts and emails are preferable to paper letters stuffed in a book bag.

Yanbu...I don't think a week goes by without a "thing"...a dress up day, an event, a show, an assembly, an open morning, bring in a pound, bring in a donation...it creates a huge mental load especially when you have multiple children

Wait until you get all the homework and of course all the PTA stuff.

And for reference, if you have a younger child, you can insist your child starts school full time from day one.

Is that true?

I think YABU. If parents could be relied upon to read the website, read the newsletter, send their kid into school with the stuff they need and not park like utter fuckwits near school premises then the number of reminders would drop by 80%

My issue is with the lack of comms, just let me know a couple of weeks in advance and we can deal with. Yesterday got a message all kids need to be in graduation costumes on Friday. FFS. No.

If a business was that badly disorganised they'd be fucked.

@KeepPortlandWeird

At secondary school, you get nothing

Your teenager will chuck any letters in the bin on the way home.

Communications are via apps installed on your kid’s personal phone.

Not here, 21 messages so far this month, admittedly across three secondaries. Only three of these specifically relevant to my child. You learn to zone them out eventually and as your child gets older you will increasingly rely on them to remember. Make sure dh's name is first contact for your next child! Schools should though send to both.

I think you’re making it into a bigger thing than it is.

Lots can be ignored if you don’t need to know it. The rest you need to know so they communicate it to you.

The volume doesn’t bother me. You learn to manage it just like the onslaught of emails at work. It’s the imprecision. Dates will not match the day of the week. Requests will be made for supplies like a pencil box, which come in a variety of sizes and materials and in reality there is only one size and material that will fit in the space allocated in the classroom. There is also the assumption that we know what things are or mean with the use of acronyms or announcement of programs without explaining what they are for people new to the school.

@Abraxan

If we don't do these things we also get complaints

We use more than one format - as parents complain if it's just the one

We have events in school as parents complain if we don't

We can't please everyone! So cover all bases - it's easier and we can't be accused of not letting parents know. It's easier.

Fair point. I remember the council changed the bus service. The school notified us using 4 different methods and still got complaints for not notifying parents

It's a bit much , but when eldest was in school we often didn't get info or it was too late to arrange around things next two there seems to be an overwhelming amount of extra notes texts school apps and reminders .

I have 2 in primary and 1 in secondary, next year will have two different secondary schools and I'm dreading it as I lose track already.

Both schools use Parentmail, but it's such a clunky app it's a nightmare to use. The endless dress up for this, donate for that, bring in this, dont forget that just drives me insane. Then add in all the covid updates about what measures we have to follow that week and I'm spinning.

Worse still, the secondary has my daughter using 14 (yes, you read that right, 14) different websites/apps/programs etc for her homework. I wish it would just all be on Google Classroom!! I've given up keeping track and just have to hope she knows what she needs to use when