Can't we just send our kids to school and not have constant events or texts to think about

[monotonousmum]

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

Yanbu. There's far too many bits of information from too many sources and it's totally overwhelming. Not to mention homework appears to be an unknown to both kids until I tell them about it? Surely the teachers should be saying to them what they need to do. I do envy my parents. Worst they had was a letter home once in a while. We get notes, parentmail, Google classroom, tapestry, online reading accounts.

Not one of the parents I talk to at school reads the weekly newsletter.

A whole page of guff from the head about how the weather changing or it’s been wet or dark and how excited he is about something blah blah blah.

Parents parking badly. A random bit of work shared per each year group. Dojo point maters, TT Rock star winners, house winner, a rehash of the lunch menu we already have. Some rubbish sent in from some charity or football group or something to share.

Then maybe maybe something relevant. But that’s fine because we will get five emails, 2 texts, 4 tweets and signs up at school about the relevant bit.

Had to send in a random coloured top, then it’s odd socks day. Then mufti day and something else. Family learning day and 2can learn day.

I read the school newsletter in the same way I read the news, why wouldn't I? My kids walk and cycle to school so no notifications about parking etc. I think this thread is all a bit moany, one day soon your kids will be gone, just enjoy them now

God I forgot about the school disco which is tonight!

Thank you for the thread OP.

It is constant fundraising, selling raffle tickets, after school book store, £1 for this dress up then £2 for that. Costumes that cost £15 that will never be worn again. Wetsuit for that day, spare clothes for this day. It is getting ridiculous

A well organised school does one email per week with everything on - what’s happened this week (bullet points) and what’s on next week that needs to be remembered. PTA should ideally do one each half term.

@nipperbat

A well organised school does one email per week with everything on - what’s happened this week (bullet points) and what’s on next week that needs to be remembered. PTA should ideally do one each half term.

Can only dream of this. I'd love a weekly email with a bullet point summary in the body of the email. I hate all the lengthy attachments with no actual info in the email.

YANBU
I am v organised but still forget things.
Could you change the contact details so DH gets the messages instead. In some ways, it might be easier if you both got the messages.

Get a diary/notebook and note everything down.

And if the schools don't send all this people complain they aren't kept up to date or school isn't doing anything. It can feel a lot. But like you say a lot of it is information only - PJ day for eg, it is really that arduous and kids love stuff like that.

Or just pop it in your phone calendar - or join the parent group - keep it on mute and just pop on if you think your missing something and say WTf Is happening today - there are always some people on there that love reminding people what day it is.

@nipperbat

A well organised school does one email per week with everything on - what’s happened this week (bullet points) and what’s on next week that needs to be remembered. PTA should ideally do one each half term.

Each to their own but id hate this - prefer to be reminded throughout the half term

If I was school staff reading this. I’d think fuck the lot of them. Moaning arseholes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ButterflyAway

Teachers seem to be of the view that mums all stay at home and quite happily sort out all the pointless junk they send home. When DC school realised I worked full time they turned rather frosty towards me. Went from thinking they were the most undervalued and under appreciated work force to thinking they’re over paid arses who can’t just get on with their jobs without constant fuss.

How nice.

Feel your pain it’s like another job keeping up with school events x

@WildExcuses I appreciate everything the school does. But when they were at primary I couldn't cope with the demands.

@monotonousmum

I probably am being a little unreasonable, but I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Eldest started school in September....I say September but in reality it was a complicated mix of an hour one week, 2 hours the next, then a week of mornings (one day with lunch), finally starting full time first week of October. I was already wondering how anyone actually manages to work.

I work full time, as does my husband. 1 younger child in nursery. School only contact one parent for general day to day stuff, and that falls to me (which is another issue in itself).

So...each week I have anywhere between 5-20 texts from the school (don't park in the car park, don't forget it pj day next week, sponsorship money due yesterday, school photo day, school dinner reminder etc etc), a selection of emails (usually with attachments that are too long for text), some letters in the book bag, notes in the back or front of the reading record book.
Sometimes there is stuff on the school calendar which hasn't been mentioned elsewhere.

I'm totally overwhelmed. Some of the info is repeated in several places (e.g. text to tell us we've received an email about children in need), but just the amount of info was totally unexpected to me.

There's all sorts of sponsored events, dress up days, changes to snacks or schedules.

Can't I just drop my kid to school, they teach her to to read and write (among other things) and then I pick her up and ask her what she's had for lunch and what she learned?? (Not that she ever remembers either).

Is the school OTT or are they all like this? Am I the only one not coping?

dont give school your mobile number or your email address, it stops it all! they then have to inform you on paper which you can then put it all into an envelope and by the end of the week go to the head and show them it all and say is this really neccssary

one day soon your kids will be gone, just enjoy them now

What has faffing about after finishing work trying login to several different parent platforms per day and remembering its odd socks day tomorrow and they need to take a pound on thursday, got to do with enjoying my kids..? I do enjoy my kids, I don't love the amount of admin from school! (I definitely won't miss that!)

@peaceanddove

I feel your pain. For years and years I conscientiously opened, carefully read and responded to each and every school email.

By the time our DDs were in Yr 8/9 I'd just had enough. So I deliberately ignored 99% of all school emails from that point. I figured if it was really urgent I would receive an actual phone call. I never did. Absolutely nothing changed. And no one died.

You made laugh loud 😂

@nipperbat

A well organised school does one email per week with everything on - what’s happened this week (bullet points) and what’s on next week that needs to be remembered. PTA should ideally do one each half term.

That doesn't stop parents moaning that they didn't know about it. Because they don't read the newsletter, because it was paper and didn't get it, because it was email and they didn't get it, because they got it but they forgot , because no one told them the day before, because there were no reminders so how are they supposed to remember in November something they read in September and so on. These are all complaints sometimes with the added foot stamping and dramatic "you've ruined x for my child" that I've heard from parents at DD's school and my own school.

No one wants to send a billion texts,letters and reminders. It takes time,effort and resources all of which are scarce in a school. But so does dealing with angry parents, numerous phone calls about x ,y and z or a bunch of them filling up the office.

I've got 4 kids in 4 different schools. It drives me CRAZY

I work in a school & this was happening to us. Then our new head introduced a fortnightly newsletter to highlight things like parking issues or events coming up or to celebrate the netball team etc. Important curriculum stuff is sent via email to all parental contacts for the affected year group. Other stuff is on the website & there is a fb page that has fun news & reports of what the children have been doing in school. So only essential stuff is emailed. When my kids were at school there used to be a flurry of paper in their bags every day - so it has improved!

You're so right, it's exhausting and modern life is rubbish honestly. I've just started a new more senior role at work with a lot more organisational stress attached, and that combined with keeping up with my 3 primary aged children's messages from school etc etc plus all the parties! There's a deluge of them at the moment as everyone keen to make up for 18 months of low social contact. My head is honestly spinning. Mixed opinions of parent's whatsapp groups but I'll confess I'm totally reliant on them to remind me what the hell's going on lately! Nearly missed parents' evening last night due to misreading the email about how to book. Unfortunately you can't afford to ignore communications from the school as they are all given the same level of importance and so the ones about truly unmissable things just disappear into the haystack. Makes you feel like such a bad parent but it really is information overload.

@takenforgrantednana

dont give school your mobile number or your email address, it stops it all! they then have to inform you on paper which you can then put it all into an envelope and by the end of the week go to the head and show them it all and say is this really neccssary

So what happens if your child is ill at school? Should they write you a letter?

[quote wellstopdoingitthen]@takenforgrantednana

dont give school your mobile number or your email address, it stops it all! they then have to inform you on paper which you can then put it all into an envelope and by the end of the week go to the head and show them it all and say is this really neccssary

So what happens if your child is ill at school? Should they write you a letter?[/quote]
@ wellstopdoingitthen - erm they phone you using the land line, remember those things?

[quote julieca]@Iamnotthe1 makes me sad for those kids. They know they are the odd ones out.[/quote]
I was that kid. We never had specific costumes unless it was something we already owned - so if it was wear a red jumper day, or whatever, we’d wear red if we had it, but if not my mum had zero inclination to go and buy an unnecessary piece of clothing. And for world book day we picked a character who wore regular clothes, and went as that (I was Tracy beaker in jeans and a t shirt every year). Mum was a SAHM at this point, so while she might have had the time, she has very low tolerance for a) waste, and b) crafts.
I didn’t care. Neither did anyone else.