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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad and annoyed by my friend who has dumped me?

32 replies

deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 11:30

I feel like i am being unreasonable.
We saw each other every day then she began to be "off" with me it got so bad i stopped seeing her.
we said Hi and chatted small talk at school til one day she looked me in the eye then looked away totally blanking me after i said "hi" to her cheerfully.
i cant sop thinking about it, thinking about what it is that i have done wrong. I am pulling my self to bits about it.
I cannot and will not talk to her about this but need to have some one sensible talk to me about it.

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 13/12/2007 11:32

Unless there's a valid reason for her behaviour, she's clearly not the kind of real friend worth worrying about.

GColdtimer · 13/12/2007 11:37

can i ask why you can't talk to her about it?

Original poster
deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 11:40

thats the whole thing about it, she was a great pal, yet there is nothing i can think of that i did wrong. clearly it was some thing awful. i dont know what tho.

people are strange aren't they.

think its a lady thing to pick at the scab and go over everything again and again.
ive got myself convinced that i am a horrid individual with some God awful personality that takes people a while to discover.i know you are right but i cant stop thinking about her/it

OP posts:
Original poster
deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 11:42

Because its gone now. Happened some months ago and i am just not bothered about her as a friend any more because clearly she isnt a friend.
But i cant stop thinking "why"

been doing my cleaning and i think alot when im cleaning and she just popped into my head and the bitch just wont go now!(bitter....no

OP posts:
throckenholt · 13/12/2007 11:42

why can't you ask her what the problem is ?

Original poster
deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 11:44

Havent spoken in months and kids dont go to same school any more so i wont see her.

OP posts:
throckenholt · 13/12/2007 11:45

ah well - in that case you just have to chalk it up to experience and forget about it.

It was probably something on her part that you know nothing about.

ELR · 13/12/2007 11:48

some people are just weird!!

Original poster
deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 11:48

true, very true.
shouldnt clean, then i cant think about stupid stuff.

OP posts:
S1ur · 13/12/2007 11:50

How about a bit of piss-take therapy?
So, what could you have done????

a)she thinks her dh fancied you.
b)she was insanely jealous of your hair
c)she heard you had mastered the perfect quiche and didn't want to compete.
d)she thought you were accusing her of being high when you greeted her.

other suggestions?

or if that is not helpful at all, perhaps you could send her a xmas card saying, really hope you're well, miss having you as friend, wtf happened there anyway?

Bimblin · 13/12/2007 11:54

I had a really good mate at uni who ditched me when we ended up both moving to London afterwards, I think she felt I wasn't cool enough for her budding social scene. I spent years wondering why, and then forgot about it.
She's now in touch with me on facebook and obviously completely oblivious to either the fact that I was upset or that we didn't stay in touch for 8 years.
So, what I mean is, people are just crap sometimes. Let it all go, its her problem.

Original poster
deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 12:06

she KNOWS her dh fancied me because i am bloody stunning. (in my bleach stained jogging pants raggy t shirt and dhs socks)
she was v v v jealouse of my hair especially when my roots are black and greesy.
she is a shit cook. I am truly expert.
she is too miserable to be hi..

however,
he r house was not clean We used to joke about getting Kim n Aggy in..her joke not mine
she thought she was better than normal people married to normal people happily because she is miserable with her high flying hubby who she doesnt even like let alone love.
what else????

OP posts:
cherryredretrochick · 13/12/2007 12:08

People really are weird, I had a close friend once who just turned round on a night out and said I hate your DH, everyone hates him and expected me not to react. (for the record my dh is adorable and the most inoffensive person in the world, and gorgeous). Try to forget about, also I am another vote for not cleaning, I like that idea.

coldtits · 13/12/2007 12:11

She has a stinky flange. You know that smell where both of you would say "Ewwww, what's that smell?"? Well, it was her flange.

Original poster
deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 12:17

her flange DID stink, knew it couldnt have been mine as mine is perfect frankly.

thought it was her breath at first....its all slotting into place...

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 13/12/2007 12:24

lol at mumsnet therapy going on here

BibiJesus · 13/12/2007 12:24

feeling better deeny? This has happened to me too, it's gutitng but you get over it, especially with MNers help!

Stinky flange pmsl

coldtits · 13/12/2007 12:26

She had a stinky flange because she didn't wipe from front to back. So stinky and not-very-bright.

Swedes2Turnips1 · 13/12/2007 12:29

Perhaps she is going through a really bad time (perhaps in her marriage) and is absent for that reason. When my marriage broke down I was very socially withdrawn for quite a while. Not depressed, just quiet and reflective and definitely not in the mood to be sociable. I relied on a couple of very close friends.
It taught me the lesson that when people behave oddly it is far more likely to be for reasons to do with them.

Original poster
deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 12:57

hmm, i have thought about that turnip, but she was fine with the other few friends that were around her at that time.
she is now bieng a bit the same with another mutual friend.

OP posts:
Swedes2Turnips1 · 13/12/2007 13:00

It is still likely to be a problem with her - maybe just that "she's" a bit bleedin' odd. There are so many nice people to be friends with and not nearly enough time .

thehollyandtheivy · 13/12/2007 13:09

Maybe she just realised you didn't have that much in common and didn't want to stay friends. And felt it was too hard to say to your face so took the easy option and just avoided you.
If she didn't want to stay friends, how would you have liked her to deal with it?
Feeling guilty now 'cos I've dumped a friend recently but she was turning into a stalker and I was getting a bit scared.

mustsleep · 13/12/2007 13:18

exactly don't you just love facebook i have about 40 friends on facebook, people froms school and people i used to be really close to and i can count on one hand the people that are actually real friends

manchita · 13/12/2007 13:26

That is why facebook is quite a sad thing to be a part of isn't it?

Original poster
deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 13/12/2007 13:34

thats a nice explanation actually holly&ivy, i would accept something like that. If we dont have any thing in common rather than that i am a vile individual who cannot be liked at all.
Did you dump your old friend because of that?
(the stalker one)

OP posts:
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