AIBU about no Christmas Day answer

[MRex]

We offered that we'll cook, or BIL can (he has insisted on previous years), or they can have just the PIL and we'll do something else. Suggested they could pop over Xmas Eve instead if they prefer. We can't order meat when we don't know if we are cooking for anything from 0 to 11 people. Or if we are going, what dish we need to order for. Two weeks and still they "are thinking about it". It seems really late to me for ordering, AIBU to just go ahead and order food assuming we have the PIL and other siblings but not them, or should we wait longer?

@1forAll74

It's only early November..there are weeks to go before Christmas day.

Goodness, no one has said that yet!!

@PammieDooveOrangeJoof

Usually I would say it’s too early but whilst looking at waitrose and m and s to see what they were offering this year, I saw that lots of their Turkey crowns etc are sold out already so think lots of people sorting much earlier in case there is a shortage.

Yes, I have noticed that too. We are going to DD's for Christmas Day and she has ordered everything from M & S (put down a deposit). I noticed a few days ago that the particular vegetarian mains I wanted has now sold out, so I am glad she ordered early!

If you're the hostess and head cook you invite and if they don't like they don't come. If they haven;t made up their minds yet, it's usually because they're hoping for a better offer. No offence meant. Don't upset yourself, do what you want to do. Good luck and happy christmas.!

I’ve given my family a deadline of Dec 15th to tell me if they’re coming on Christmas Day! But then I don’t particularly have a set plan for Christmas Day dinner and will just see what’s in shops - if we have salmon fillets or a lasagna or roast beef or a cottage pie or even a selection of nice pizzas I’m happy. We do a cut down version of a “traditional Christmas dinner” with just our nuclear family on Christmas Eve. Personally I’d rather preserve good family relationships than stress about ordering particular pieces of meat.

1forAll74

It's only early November..there are weeks to go before Christmas day."

I did our order from Marks and loads of things were already sold out for collection on Christmas Eve. People are going mad this year after last year.

Haven't read the whole thread so apologies if this has been suggested but I would suggest text him saying "hi I'm ordering this week for Christmas. If you're still not sure I'll order for us and PIL but please let me know if you're coming"

It’s still early November, if it were 2 weeks before Xmas I’d be in a panic

And all this is why I will be abroad on holiday for Xmas

Oh I couldn't stand all the uncertainty.

I would message saying ILS need to advise whether they are coming to you for Christmas or not by Monday, and if no response, you will fuck off to Bermuda for Christmas just cater for yourselves.

Is something going in BILs relationship hence no answer?
If it were me, I order food for everyone if they don't rock up it'll get eaten anyways, but don't cut them out.

I know this is radical but why don't you ring him on the phone and get him to give you an answer there and then. If he won't, have a plan B of what you want to do and tell him that's the plan for Christmas.

He's sent an update. Apparently he's thinking about it and will let us know. We have the food ordered so can cost here if needed, so it doesn't matter either way really, but he's very frustrating.

@MRex

He's sent an update. Apparently he's thinking about it and will let us know. We have the food ordered so can cost here if needed, so it doesn't matter either way really, but he's very frustrating.

That is your opportunity to tell him if he decides to come, and if he decides to cook. he will need to bring the food with him as you're catering for x number not y number. Make sure you wrap a pair of marigolds and a bottle of Fairy for him - he'll be spending most of his evening washing up!

@MRex

He's sent an update. Apparently he's thinking about it and will let us know. We have the food ordered so can cost here if needed, so it doesn't matter either way really, but he's very frustrating.

Is he the fucking queen? (actually she probably has better manners). I'd reply, 'No need, I've bought and planned everything.' Let him sweat on what that might mean.

Yes I really don’t understand why you’re deferring to him? Just tell him you’ve ordered now and it’s all set. Why the hell does he get to set the agenda for everyone else?

He dictates because we like a quiet life without arguments. Urgh. I suppose I should deal with it, this is a bit silly. How about this as a reply to all "Please don't worry about it DBIL. We are very happy to host and I've just ordered the turkey. See you all here at 12pm, bring booze.".

Yes, perfect.

Ok, done.

DH is laughing away that his DB will be "steaming mad". Oh dear. PIL have accepted plus one other sibling.

@MRex

DH is laughing away that his DB will be "steaming mad". Oh dear. PIL have accepted plus one other sibling.

Tough. If he's still steaming on Christmas Day, get him to hold on to the Pud - it will save you ££ in cooking it!

Well done OP. Someone needed to make a decision.

And for those talking about it being early, all Xmas food slots taken at y Waitrose and surrounding areas last week. Managed to find one at Marks two towns away and or able to get the items we wanted for our Xmas meal - not only mess, ides but also veggie/vegan items too.

I’d be sniggering away too. I find this kind of that’s nice dear but let’s cut the crap very satisfying!

He replied! And I quote:

"OK. What booze?

All is well, thanks for your help everyone.

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