Teacher swearing at child

[Swearingteacher]

So before I go into details I would like to say that I usually take the stance that my child is in the wrong, and teachers are always right, and in the 8 years they have been in school I have never made a complaint about anything.

A few weeks ago ds (who's 13) came home and he was a bit down. I asked what was wrong (took ages to get it out of him) turns out he's not getting along with one of his teachers.
A few weeks ago he told me, he was giving ds into trouble for not doing work properly (ds is dyslexic and we only found this out a year ago after me knowing he was for years, but I just kept being fobbed off). Just before this he had been helping one of the other kids in class (also dyslexic), ds told him he didn't understand and needed help and that he was dyslexic too (which the teacher should know, it's on the register) and the teacher told him his dyslexia wasn't as bad as other boys. I was really pissed of about that, firstly because the school have been utterly shit with giving ds any support, and secondly because ds has little confidence in his abilities as it is, and being told he was dyslexic was a bit of a relief to him because he then new there was a reason for him struggling so much. DS said he didn't want me to phone the school because he didn't think the teacher ment it in a bad way .
Roll on to 2 days ago, ds came in in a right mood. He said he was in class and didn't know what to do because he had been absent last lesson (covid test) he said he asked the teacher what he should be doing and he said "your work" so ds asked one of the other kids in the class, got into trouble for talking. He told him again, he wasn't sure what to do as he wasn't there last lesson he was then told by the teacher to "get off his lazy arse and do some fucking work".
During the same lesson this teacher went up to one of the other boys in the class (autistic and dyslexic. I know him and his family) looked at his work and asked him "what the fuck am I supposed to do with that".
Now, I am well aware that children can be very irritating, I work with them and would usually never dream of contacting the school, but ds seems to feel like this teacher is picking on him. It's affecting him badly and he doesn't want to go to school on the days he has this class. He's never really complained about any other teacher, but there have been other minor incidents with this one, and they really seem to be getting him down.
I haven't contacted the school yet because I was too pissed off when he told me. Should I contact the school?

This is completely unacceptable. To swear at any child is out but to swear at a child who has learning difficulties is totally off. I have to admit when ds was in school at that age there was a teacher who swore but it was when he dropped something or couldn't find what he was looking for and the guys thought it was hilarious. But he never swore at them. And l never complained as ds really liked that teacher.
But this is different. He will turn your child off school and destroy his confidence but even if he didn't it's totally unprofessional and needs to be reported.
You need to speak to the year head or principal. You also need to speak to that teacher about your child's needs maybe with another teacher..Special Needs Teacher present. He needs to be reminded about the dyslexia and what it actually means as he may not have a clue.
I find that primary teachers mostly do well with learning difficulties and so do universities but Secondary school are mainly very poor. They are under such pressure about exams etc they just have not got the time, interest or patience unfortunately.

I am a Primary Teacher .

Well yes obviously you should contact the school.

I’m an ex secondary teacher. This is completely unacceptable. I would be contacting the school and asking for head of department to speak to call you to discuss it. The HoD will need to take it to the head so they will only be able to apologise to you and not say much else immediately.

Awful. My DH is a teacher and said that sometimes bad teachers fo crawl through the net.
Report to the school tomorrow. There will have been plenty of witnesses in a class full of children.
Interestingly my DHs school has introduced cctv in class rooms for everyone's protection and to ensure that teaching is high standard.

Horrible and unacceptable. I would have made a complaint after the first incident tbh. Definitely contact school tomorrow.

To be honest I know Im not unreasonable to contact the school, I just hate complaining about anything. DS's confidence is bad enough. I've had him in tears over a bloody French speaking exam for the last 2 weeks. He has zero confidence and this has knocked it even more.
junebirthdaygirl, yes, secondry school just don't seem to be giving him any support. Took a year and 4 months for them to finally give him access to a laptop (although perhaps they were waiting for kids to leave for one to become available). I have been assured that he will be given extra support and time, but that's never happened.
I'll contact them tomorrow.

Yes of course you should, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t and what the argument would be for not doing so. Awful behaviour!
Your poor DC, sounds like that teacher needs a career change!

Self confidence is a priority with dyslexic children - apart from the fact they shouldn’t be swearing!

Complain.

Yes, you need to contact the school. It's a serious allegation, so they'll probably want to speak to your DS and any other children that were in the classroom at the time, in addition to asking the teacher for a written statement. If the investigation supports your DS's version of events, the teacher will likely lose his job for gross misconduct.

I did want to contact with the first incident. I'm actually more annoyed about that than the swearing, but ds didn't want me to make a fuss, he's quite shy and would be mortified if anything was said about it in class or anyone knew.
I have spoken to the mum of the other boy. I think she has already phoned. I have also spoken to DS's other friend who is a lovely boy very trust worthy. He said the teacher loves him but he's is quite horrible to some of the other children.

I would make an appointment with the SENCO tomorrow and discuss his provision. I would then raise the swearing.

Totally out of order. Good luck getting it sorted when you contact the school.

OP, I'm a teacher and often question the 'shall I complain to the school' threads,but absolutely YANBU in this case. You must contact the school about it. Assuming your ds' description of events is accurate, this sounds like a teacher on the edge who has seriously lost control of their ability to deal with students appropriately. This needs to be flagged up before anything worse happens. Stress and difficult classes can drive teachers to the very edge of their patience sometimes, but what your ds is describing is totally unacceptable and very worrying.

Write to the head and outline everything and the names of those who have overhead and details of the other students, copy in the chair of governors.

In this instance my child would be no longer being taught by the this teacher and they would not be moving class.

Key words: access to curriculum, Sen, disability and disability law, safeguarding, verbal abuse, degrading and humiliating experiences have eroded confidence in the teacher as a professional and as a resolution ask that the relevant professional standards are investigated that the teacher is immediately removed from teaching the group and an alternative teacher provided.

Children might be asked to provide witness statements etc

It is possible the teacher could be asked to leave or given extra training and support if there is a reason for such disgusting unprofessional behaviour.

My daughter is physically disabled she has a medical condition. In her outstanding girls grammar her pe teacher mocked her repeatedly in front of the class and copied her way of walking and running in an exaggerated way to the class - she then gave my daughter a misconduct for lateness for changing too slowly and called her a tortoise in front of the class.

I complained direct to the headteacher. I listed what my daughter had said, the fact that she had a statement and the school and senco had all the medical letters. I quoted the teacher professional standards and stated that going forward my daughter no longer wanted to do pe (she used to dislocate her joints and put them back in and a quick ice pack and then carry on) she never moaned - never had a day off etc

I emailed the head at 6 pm by 9am she phoned me and said the complaint was immediately being investigated and statements from the teacher and other girls taken - by 2 pm the head of pe rang me to say the witness statements agreed with my daughter and teacher admitted what she had done. The head of pe asked me not to withdraw her from pe and said the teacher was being removed from the class, whilst the investigation happened, the teacher apologised to my daughter with the headteacher and the head of pe present and said her behaviour was totally and utterly unacceptable. The teacher left. I think what happened to my daughter was disgusting and the same to your son and his peers.

But please let the school do a proper investigation. I’m not saying your son is lying but let them investigate. I spoke to my daughter at length before making the complaint - as in had she taken an hour to get changed? How much after the others etc? I didn’t want to go in all guns blazing without my facts clear and I did ask them to investigate

@ThirdElephant

Yes, you need to contact the school. It's a serious allegation, so they'll probably want to speak to your DS and any other children that were in the classroom at the time, in addition to asking the teacher for a written statement. If the investigation supports your DS's version of events, the teacher will likely lose his job for gross misconduct.

See that's what I don't want to happen. I understand that teachers are under a lot of pressure, especially at the moment, but at the same time I feel really bad for ds. Getting him to go to school has been a nightmare from the get go and he finally started to settle and stop getting upset about it a couple of months ago, but now this has really taken him a step back.

I'm a university lecturer and if I spoke to a student in that way even without learning difficulties i would be brought up on a disciplinary.
100% talk to the school this is not on.

And on another note French or other languages are particularly difficult for those with dyslexia. I am in lreland so different system but here a child with dyslexia can get exempt from foreign languages if an educational psychologist recommends it. Its nearly impossible for some children to do it.
I teach a lot of children with dyslexia as a Special Needs Teacher and when l meet their parents as they start Secondary they always mention how upset they are about the French.
Can you do something about getting him an exemption to take stress off. Maybe when meeting teachers around the swearing bring this up too.
Also don't presume that because a report was sent in telling school a child has dyslexia that each individual teacher knows. I would send an individual note to each of his teachers stating he has dyslexia as sometimes the information is not passed on.
My ds has dyslexia and some teachers were shocked to hear that at his parent teacher meeting in April! They had not received the information.

See that's what I don't want to happen. I understand that teachers are under a lot of pressure, especially at the moment, but at the same time I feel really bad for ds. Getting him to go to school has been a nightmare from the get go and he finally started to settle and stop getting upset about it a couple of months ago, but now this has really taken him a step back.

It's not for you to worry about the consequences for this teacher. Your role is to support your DS and let the school follow their procedure.

I teach too and yes, it is stressful, but that doesn't provide teachers with an excuse to cause emotional harm to their students and definitely shouldn't mean they're allowed to continue doing so.

@IAAP

Write to the head and outline everything and the names of those who have overhead and details of the other students, copy in the chair of governors.

In this instance my child would be no longer being taught by the this teacher and they would not be moving class.

Key words: access to curriculum, Sen, disability and disability law, safeguarding, verbal abuse, degrading and humiliating experiences have eroded confidence in the teacher as a professional and as a resolution ask that the relevant professional standards are investigated that the teacher is immediately removed from teaching the group and an alternative teacher provided.

Children might be asked to provide witness statements etc

It is possible the teacher could be asked to leave or given extra training and support if there is a reason for such disgusting unprofessional behaviour.

My daughter is physically disabled she has a medical condition. In her outstanding girls grammar her pe teacher mocked her repeatedly in front of the class and copied her way of walking and running in an exaggerated way to the class - she then gave my daughter a misconduct for lateness for changing too slowly and called her a tortoise in front of the class.

I complained direct to the headteacher. I listed what my daughter had said, the fact that she had a statement and the school and senco had all the medical letters. I quoted the teacher professional standards and stated that going forward my daughter no longer wanted to do pe (she used to dislocate her joints and put them back in and a quick ice pack and then carry on) she never moaned - never had a day off etc

I emailed the head at 6 pm by 9am she phoned me and said the complaint was immediately being investigated and statements from the teacher and other girls taken - by 2 pm the head of pe rang me to say the witness statements agreed with my daughter and teacher admitted what she had done. The head of pe asked me not to withdraw her from pe and said the teacher was being removed from the class, whilst the investigation happened, the teacher apologised to my daughter with the headteacher and the head of pe present and said her behaviour was totally and utterly unacceptable. The teacher left. I think what happened to my daughter was disgusting and the same to your son and his peers.

But please let the school do a proper investigation. I’m not saying your son is lying but let them investigate. I spoke to my daughter at length before making the complaint - as in had she taken an hour to get changed? How much after the others etc? I didn’t want to go in all guns blazing without my facts clear and I did ask them to investigate

That is absolutely awful. Your poor dd! I'm so glad something was done about that, but I'm sure that had a terrible affect on her. That's all very helpful. That's exactly why I didn't phone straight away. I wanted tk get all the facts and get a clear picture of what actually happend. Sometimes ds struggles to word/explain things properly, especially when he's a bit worked up.

That's shocking. I don't always mind a bit of potty-mouth in the classroom, although I know that lots of other teachers feel differently, but that's just terrible teaching! The way that teacher is speaking to students isn't motivating or funny or deliberately breaking a taboo in order to reach out - it's just dismissive and confusing for the kids.

Stress and difficult classes can drive teachers to the very edge of their patience sometimes, but what your ds is describing is totally unacceptable and very worrying.

I completely sympathise with teachers. I remember being at school and feeling sorry for some of mine because of the classes behaviour. I really don't want to be the cause of anymore stress to someone who could be at breaking point.

That is a disciplinary offence and it needs to be reported to the school. The teacher is breaking the professional standards and it needs to be stopped. Report it straight away tomorrow. Totally unacceptable.

See that's what I don't want to happen. I understand that teachers are under a lot of pressure, especially at the moment, but at the same time I feel really bad for ds

Thanks so much Op. It is really hard at the moment. No excuse for how your son has been treated though.
Maybe this teacher is monumentally stressed out. If that is the case the headteacher needs to step in. Maybe the teacher is always like this and isn’t fit to be teaching at all. Either way, it needs reporting.

@junebirthdaygirl

And on another note French or other languages are particularly difficult for those with dyslexia. I am in lreland so different system but here a child with dyslexia can get exempt from foreign languages if an educational psychologist recommends it. Its nearly impossible for some children to do it. I teach a lot of children with dyslexia as a Special Needs Teacher and when l meet their parents as they start Secondary they always mention how upset they are about the French. Can you do something about getting him an exemption to take stress off. Maybe when meeting teachers around the swearing bring this up too. Also don't presume that because a report was sent in telling school a child has dyslexia that each individual teacher knows. I would send an individual note to each of his teachers stating he has dyslexia as sometimes the information is not passed on. My ds has dyslexia and some teachers were shocked to hear that at his parent teacher meeting in April! They had not received the information.

Thank you. I was actually planning to phone and see if they would allow him to skip the verbal assessment, or at least not have him standing infront of the class. He gets so embarrassed. He is honestly distraught about it. He was crying in the bath getting ready the other morning and I eventually let him skip the morning period. I offered to write him a letter but he seems to think he will be given into trouble, even with a note so he wouldn't take one (didn't think there would be time to phone as it was first period). I will talk to them about this aswell.

@Swearingteacher

Stress and difficult classes can drive teachers to the very edge of their patience sometimes, but what your ds is describing is totally unacceptable and very worrying.

I completely sympathise with teachers. I remember being at school and feeling sorry for some of mine because of the classes behaviour. I really don't want to be the cause of anymore stress to someone who could be at breaking point.

That’s very gracious and balanced of you, but when the alternative is that your DS and other students with additional needs are being treated badly and potentially being turned off of school what choice do you have ?