Teacher swearing at child

[Swearingteacher]

So before I go into details I would like to say that I usually take the stance that my child is in the wrong, and teachers are always right, and in the 8 years they have been in school I have never made a complaint about anything.

A few weeks ago ds (who's 13) came home and he was a bit down. I asked what was wrong (took ages to get it out of him) turns out he's not getting along with one of his teachers.
A few weeks ago he told me, he was giving ds into trouble for not doing work properly (ds is dyslexic and we only found this out a year ago after me knowing he was for years, but I just kept being fobbed off). Just before this he had been helping one of the other kids in class (also dyslexic), ds told him he didn't understand and needed help and that he was dyslexic too (which the teacher should know, it's on the register) and the teacher told him his dyslexia wasn't as bad as other boys. I was really pissed of about that, firstly because the school have been utterly shit with giving ds any support, and secondly because ds has little confidence in his abilities as it is, and being told he was dyslexic was a bit of a relief to him because he then new there was a reason for him struggling so much. DS said he didn't want me to phone the school because he didn't think the teacher ment it in a bad way .
Roll on to 2 days ago, ds came in in a right mood. He said he was in class and didn't know what to do because he had been absent last lesson (covid test) he said he asked the teacher what he should be doing and he said "your work" so ds asked one of the other kids in the class, got into trouble for talking. He told him again, he wasn't sure what to do as he wasn't there last lesson he was then told by the teacher to "get off his lazy arse and do some fucking work".
During the same lesson this teacher went up to one of the other boys in the class (autistic and dyslexic. I know him and his family) looked at his work and asked him "what the fuck am I supposed to do with that".
Now, I am well aware that children can be very irritating, I work with them and would usually never dream of contacting the school, but ds seems to feel like this teacher is picking on him. It's affecting him badly and he doesn't want to go to school on the days he has this class. He's never really complained about any other teacher, but there have been other minor incidents with this one, and they really seem to be getting him down.
I haven't contacted the school yet because I was too pissed off when he told me. Should I contact the school?

[quote Timetobuckup]@Swearingteacher I also think an explanation of what dyslexia actually is and what it means for your son would be helpful.

Some teachers do think unless you are writing your letters backwards and using a coloured overlay then you are fine. Dyslexia is much more than that. We should always be asking each student how dyslexia affects them and not assuming they are all the same. We are not perfect but we try.[/quote]
Yes, he had a coloured overlay for a while and the teachers would insist he used it, but even the hospital (who were actually testing for visual stress 3x at the request of the school) that gave him it said that they didn't think it would help him much but he could take it and see in class. He told the teachers it made no difference (this was before we were finally told he was dyslexic) but they insisted. I had to tell them on 3 separate occasions not to bother with them as they weren't helping.

See that's what I don't want to happen. I understand that teachers are under a lot of pressure, especially at the moment, but at the same time I feel really bad for ds

But he isn't fit to teach if he treats students with learning difficulties that way.

@Swearingteacher It does sound like he has got some great resilience which is a good thing but we have to be careful that it doesn't mean he just bottles everything up in school and melts down at home.
There are 2 issues really, the awful behaviour from this one teacher and then the way the school need to be supporting him with his dyslexia. He will need things like extra time in his exams and this has to be set up as soon as possible so it is proved to be his normal way of working.

In my experience students who say they don't want people to step in for them or contact teachers etc have a massive sense of relief once the 'grown ups' take charge.
I would be asking for a meeting and take the dyslexia report with you so you can talk through any advisory steps.

It is worth having the battle now so everything is in place as he moves further up the school.

I'm normally very laid back and would always give teachers a by-ball given the stress they are under but this is totally unacceptable. You have two options, report the teacher (which could result in him losing his job) or speak to teacher directly and warn him next time you will report him.(if he has other pressures going on and is perhaps not in a good place this may be a wake up call for him).

If this is exactly what has happened, and I assume there would be witnesses in the class, it is completely outrageous. I am a secondary school teacher and this is a serious disciplinary offence. Also your DS should be getting much more support from the school and his teachers with the dyslexia. You need to complain, be very firm and don’t be fobbed off.

Of course you need to complain. You need to show DS that he shouldn’t accept being sworn at.

Please don’t worry about making things more stressful for the teacher. There are two explanations for the teacher swearing:

1. he’s a horrible person and shouldn’t be teaching
2. he’s cracked under pressure and needs support By complaining, the school will be able to investigate what is happening and either fire or provide support.

The comment about DS’s dyslexia not being as severe as his classmate’s might well be true, but it isn’t something that the teacher should have said to DS. Again, he’s either a dickhead or too stressed but the complaint about swearing should address that anyway. So I probably wouldn’t complain about that, but I would make an appointment with the senco to discuss the dyslexia support across the curriculum. You are probably right about having to wait for a laptop to become available - schools just don’t have the money for buy one for every child that would benefit (which is wrong but not the school’s fault).

Timetobuckup that is exactly what he does. Definitely think you are right. I've allowed him to get on with it himself a bit too much I think. I need to step in.

Rather than go in all guns blazing, I suggest you take this approach:

I have been informed by (DS) of the following recent incidents
( account as in your OP, maybe more concise)

Then ask the head to look into the matter and say you look forward to hearing from him/her,

Personally, all due respect to your DS , I would be a little dubious about the accuracy of the swearing.

As a teacher, I'd speak to the head of department, explain what your DS has said to you, that you're concerned by what DS is telling you and that you would like the head of department to investigate and get back to you.

If everything has happened as DS has outlined then the teacher either isn't in a good place and needs support, or they are not suited to teaching. Either way, there needs to be a resolution so DS and others can learn and be supported

I wouldn't go all guns blazing, but that's mainly because I've seen too many situations where there's been some embellishment to events told to parents and/or students have downplayed certain things.

I am a secondary teacher of 22 years and swear like a fucking trouper - at home! I have never, ever sworn in front of students let alone at them (believe me I have felt like it at times!)

Even without the swearing, the dismissal of your son’s desire for help is unacceptable. This definitely needs to be raised with your son’s school.

Secondary French teacher here. Firstly, you absolutely need to report this and it needs to be investigated. It’s unprofessional and completely unacceptable. Secondly, please let his French teacher know how much stress the oral exam is causing. It is part of learning a language and most people don’t enjoy it, however I would always be happy to catch up at break or lunch if the student prefers that. As it is, I try to do oral exams 1:1 outside the classroom but I work in a school where behaviour usually allows me to do this, which isn’t always the case. The majority of SEN students at my school do at least one language in years 7-9 and lots of them enjoy it but do speak to the SENCO if it isn’t working for him.

No I definitely won't go in all guns blazing. Im well aware of the stories children/teens make up/embellish and I was dubious at first when ds told me, but he seemed genuine and really never lies to me, he's very honest and open, I also asked 2 other boys in the class (one being the other boy he swore at) and they said it didn't happen. They didn't realise I was going to ask because I quizzed them at the door when they came round for ds 🤣.
I'll very politely give the school ds's version of events, and ask that they look into it.

Dreadful behaviour from the teacher. I totally understand that you are worried about school talking to the other pupils, but this teacher cannot get away with this. They will be doing similar to lots of children and will continue to do so unless someone intervenes.

I would arm yourself with facts as you know them, familiarise yourself with school’s complaints procedure and follow it to the letter.

I wouldn’t copy in the Chair of governors at this point because it’s likely that contacting the Chair is a later step in the complaints procedure. If you go to them too early in the process it may mean that the Chair will have to delegate the complaint to another governor and that could take more time.

Absolutely complain, this is an appalling way to treat your child.
I would also report to Ofsted, my teenage DS has also come home and told me some questionable things the teacher has said, you have to trust that your children are within capable hands and this sounds like your poor DS is not.
I hope he’s ok 💐

Thank you again everyone for the support. This has been so helpful. I will phone in the morning.

Sounds like the teacher should be on sick leave due to stress.

Any stress the teacher is under is not your problem, any child of whatever ability should be treated with respect and kindness .
In an adult workplace i would imagine most employees would face a disciplinary for swearing aggressively at their colleague.
I too have never been a complainer through my 3 kids schooling , but no way would i let this bully of a teacher get away with this apalling behaviour .
Whatever the outcome is i would insist my child is not taught by him again.

Phone the school once the first lesson has started tomorrow and ask to speak to the Head or a senior member of staff. In terms of the dyslexia issue, arrange to see the SENCo.

@Swearingteacher

No I definitely won't go in all guns blazing. Im well aware of the stories children/teens make up/embellish and I was dubious at first when ds told me, but he seemed genuine and really never lies to me, he's very honest and open, I also asked 2 other boys in the class (one being the other boy he swore at) and they said it didn't happen. They didn't realise I was going to ask because I quizzed them at the door when they came round for ds 🤣. I'll very politely give the school ds's version of events, and ask that they look into it.

Reading your original post, I would agree you must complain. I work in a school and this is completely unacceptable behaviour from the teacher.

But reading this update has confused me, so the other two boys in your DS's class said that the teacher never swore at your DS? Why would they lie? I find that really odd!

This needs reporting to someone above the teacher. Swearing at pupils whether they have a disability or not is unacceptable.

One thing to remember is not all children tell lies and not all adults tell the truth when it comes to reporting incidents like this and the rest of the class are witnesses.

Whether a teacher is stressed or not it shouldn't excuse abusive behaviour.

@Kittykat93

Well yes obviously you should contact the school.

I would also contact the governors and the local authority.

The truth of what happened probably lies in the middle of what your son said, and what the teacher would say. It’s possible that your son was chatting, being a nuisance, as children often are. Even if he was it doesn’t justify being spoken to like that. It’s highly unprofessional.

DD had a similar situation - a teacher told, in front of the whole class, that she wasn’t dyslexic, she was stupid.

We wrote to the head of education at the local council (not in England, so no governors etc) detailing the incident and that it appeared the teacher was sadly lacking in basic understanding not only of disabilities, but also of dignity, bullying and harrassment. We asked for confirmation that she have urgent remedial training in these areas. Finished by stating DD was leaving at end of term, as trust had been destroyed. The letter was copied to the headmaster of the school.

Education authority grovelled. DD moved to much better school where she was respected for who she was as a person.

@Fernando072020, no sorry that was supposed to say, they said it did happen.

AHH ok! Thanks for clarifying!
Then yes, I'm still on board with complaining. I can't get over a teacher swearing at pupils. Bizarre behaviour.

Yes, definitely take this up with the head of the school.. The swearing teacher needs to be put in isolation for a while, to learn how to behave in class.