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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teacher swearing at child

85 replies

Swearingteacher · 07/11/2021 08:28

So before I go into details I would like to say that I usually take the stance that my child is in the wrong, and teachers are always right, and in the 8 years they have been in school I have never made a complaint about anything.

A few weeks ago ds (who's 13) came home and he was a bit down. I asked what was wrong (took ages to get it out of him) turns out he's not getting along with one of his teachers.
A few weeks ago he told me, he was giving ds into trouble for not doing work properly (ds is dyslexic and we only found this out a year ago after me knowing he was for years, but I just kept being fobbed off). Just before this he had been helping one of the other kids in class (also dyslexic), ds told him he didn't understand and needed help and that he was dyslexic too (which the teacher should know, it's on the register) and the teacher told him his dyslexia wasn't as bad as other boys. I was really pissed of about that, firstly because the school have been utterly shit with giving ds any support, and secondly because ds has little confidence in his abilities as it is, and being told he was dyslexic was a bit of a relief to him because he then new there was a reason for him struggling so much. DS said he didn't want me to phone the school because he didn't think the teacher ment it in a bad way Hmm.
Roll on to 2 days ago, ds came in in a right mood. He said he was in class and didn't know what to do because he had been absent last lesson (covid test) he said he asked the teacher what he should be doing and he said "your work" so ds asked one of the other kids in the class, got into trouble for talking. He told him again, he wasn't sure what to do as he wasn't there last lesson he was then told by the teacher to "get off his lazy arse and do some fucking work".
During the same lesson this teacher went up to one of the other boys in the class (autistic and dyslexic. I know him and his family) looked at his work and asked him "what the fuck am I supposed to do with that".
Now, I am well aware that children can be very irritating, I work with them and would usually never dream of contacting the school, but ds seems to feel like this teacher is picking on him. It's affecting him badly and he doesn't want to go to school on the days he has this class. He's never really complained about any other teacher, but there have been other minor incidents with this one, and they really seem to be getting him down.
I haven't contacted the school yet because I was too pissed off when he told me. Should I contact the school?

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBad · 07/11/2021 11:46

In an adult workplace i would imagine most employees would face a disciplinary for swearing aggressively at their colleague

Unless you are Priti Patel, in which case it’s fine.

housemdwaswrong · 07/11/2021 11:56

Absolutely co.plain, and not to the s3nco but the head. The senco would go to the head anyway, and they should know what's going on in their school. It's totally unacceptable. The only time I've sworn in a class is when a kid put their chair down on my foot. I was not.proud of it, apologised to the class and went to see the head myself. To swear directly at a child is so far from being acceptable, and not a one-off either it seems. I wouldn't want this teacher to be my colleague.

lazylinguist · 07/11/2021 12:15

I am a secondary teacher of 22 years and swear like a fucking trouper - at home! I have never, ever sworn in front of students let alone at them (believe me I have felt like it at times!)

Yes, this. Part of becoming a teacher is developing a very consistent and reliable filter, regardless of what's thrown at you (sometimes literally). Anyone who is unable to control their language around pupils, especially once they have a few years' experience, is simply not fit to be a teacher. There may be occasional cases where an outburst happens but it is out of character and the teacher turns out to be very ill, in the middle of a mh crisis, or has just had something very traumatic happen to them etc, in which case they need proper help and time off before perhaps being able to return to work.

Choccyaddict4eva · 07/11/2021 12:21

Write down everything that happened in a letter for the principal/headteacher and copy in the chair of governors. Insist on a face to face meeting. Do not attempt to handle this situation over the phone- it’s easy to dismiss people this way and for versions of events to become lost in translation and then you have no proof of anything that was said and reported. What that teacher did was completely unacceptable. Does your son have an EHCP in place? As if he does this should entitle him to some one-to-one help whilst he is at school.

Hankunamatata · 07/11/2021 12:40

Id phone the school and ask to speak to the head of year. Explain you have concerns about Mr X class as there seems to be some tension around the teacher and supporting students with additional needs completing their work. Going in softly softly and find out how the ground lies

Hankunamatata · 07/11/2021 13:00

Also I found French impossible as a child but weirdly found German a breeze. My son is using linguascope, its great and has loads of games rather than worrying about producing rote language peices. Sometimes it helps to step back a bit and make a subject fun again

Ozanj · 07/11/2021 13:08

@Swearingteacher

So before I go into details I would like to say that I usually take the stance that my child is in the wrong, and teachers are always right, and in the 8 years they have been in school I have never made a complaint about anything.

A few weeks ago ds (who's 13) came home and he was a bit down. I asked what was wrong (took ages to get it out of him) turns out he's not getting along with one of his teachers.
A few weeks ago he told me, he was giving ds into trouble for not doing work properly (ds is dyslexic and we only found this out a year ago after me knowing he was for years, but I just kept being fobbed off). Just before this he had been helping one of the other kids in class (also dyslexic), ds told him he didn't understand and needed help and that he was dyslexic too (which the teacher should know, it's on the register) and the teacher told him his dyslexia wasn't as bad as other boys. I was really pissed of about that, firstly because the school have been utterly shit with giving ds any support, and secondly because ds has little confidence in his abilities as it is, and being told he was dyslexic was a bit of a relief to him because he then new there was a reason for him struggling so much. DS said he didn't want me to phone the school because he didn't think the teacher ment it in a bad way Hmm.
Roll on to 2 days ago, ds came in in a right mood. He said he was in class and didn't know what to do because he had been absent last lesson (covid test) he said he asked the teacher what he should be doing and he said "your work" so ds asked one of the other kids in the class, got into trouble for talking. He told him again, he wasn't sure what to do as he wasn't there last lesson he was then told by the teacher to "get off his lazy arse and do some fucking work".
During the same lesson this teacher went up to one of the other boys in the class (autistic and dyslexic. I know him and his family) looked at his work and asked him "what the fuck am I supposed to do with that".
Now, I am well aware that children can be very irritating, I work with them and would usually never dream of contacting the school, but ds seems to feel like this teacher is picking on him. It's affecting him badly and he doesn't want to go to school on the days he has this class. He's never really complained about any other teacher, but there have been other minor incidents with this one, and they really seem to be getting him down.
I haven't contacted the school yet because I was too pissed off when he told me. Should I contact the school?

Make a complaint & let the school investigate
lazylinguist · 07/11/2021 13:14

My son is using linguascope, its great and has loads of games rather than worrying about producing rote language peices. Sometimes it helps to step back a bit and make a subject fun again

Absolutely. Although these days schools use a lot of online resources, games etc. It really isn't all learning verb endings and writing set pieces, especially not pre-GCSE age.

Opal93 · 07/11/2021 13:18

Of course you need to contact the school. I am autistic and dyslexic and unssuportive nasty teachers have had a lasting effect on me, and as bad as they were they didn’t swear or curse at me! I think first of all you should definitely make a complaint against this teacher. Is she cannot cope with children with SEN then she is not right for the job, and second, her behaviour is unacceptable in every way. She needs to be sanctioned for this. As pp said, she isn’t being professional

RavingAnnie · 07/11/2021 13:18

Of course you should. That's completely unacceptable. Advocate for your child.

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