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My daughters name.
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Peteer · 06/11/2021 21:08

Hi, i have a 13 month old daughter.
When my wife was pregnant i wanted to call her Olive after my Olive tree, a couple weeks before she was born i thouht Maeve was a nice name also.
When she was born i was torn between the 2 names, the midwife put pressure on us to name the baby so we named her Maeve.
6months on my wife and myself didnt like Maeve because it is one syllable so we changed her name to Mavis Olive.
My wife loves the name Mavis i like it more than Maeve but it doesent really warm to me. I really regret not naming her Olive. I love Mavis she is perfect i guess im worried she might not like her name one day too.

This issue has me really stressed.
Any opinions will be appreciated. Thanks..

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Peteer · 08/11/2021 20:54

@MirandaBlu

6months on my wife and myself didnt like Maeve because it is one syllable is the baffling part to me. You both liked the name enough to use it (and more than Olive), but six months in developed a dislike of one syllable names in general?

Personally, I love Maeve. I wouldn't have chosen Mavis or Olive, but they're OK. All three are solid traditional names and everyone's tastes are different. This is purely up to you and your wife. It sounds like your wife had a clear preference for Mavis and still loves it and you say you like it better than Maeve, which once seemed like the best option - so it's a compromise but shouldn't be a painful one. FWIW, your back story about Olive makes it a perfect middle name in my opinion; something special that's not necessarily used every day but has a kind of private meaning.

On a practical level: assuming you're in the UK any change you make after one year from birth won't update the birth certificate, so another change now means that you'd be dealing with an extra piece of paperwork (deed poll/legal name change form) which will be hassle for your daughter for her whole life. At this point, leave it up to her to make a formal or informal change once she's old enough to decide. If she wants to be Maeve or Mavi or May or Mo or Olive or Ollie or Livvy, it's easy enough to let the school know that's what she goes by even though it's not her legal name.

This comes up quite a bit over on the 'Baby Names' board - whether it's name regret, or a parent compromising on a name they don't love but the other parent does, or giving in to family tradition when they'd prefer a different name. Most people seem to get used to the name (assuming it's not something particularly awful from their perspective) and end up just thinking of it as their child's name and loving it because of that.

Hi thanks for the advice, i think Mavis will suit her when shes a bit older too, i guess i just dont warm to it as a babies name. cheers.
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smoko · 09/11/2021 00:04

Mavis is a rad name, it’s on my list of future dog’s names for sure! All about old lady names, they’re lovely.

Olive is just one trad name I can’t warm to… maybe it’s that I didn’t like popeye & eat a lot of them… may as well call the kid “biscuit” or something

You had ages to think of names you like & see how they sound to you over time. The kid’s been named now. It’s odd when people change dogs’ names for the sake of it & think you need to let this go, or you will transfer your feelings to the child in some way.

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smoko · 09/11/2021 00:12

Also it’s pretty funny how OP is so concerned about the baby’s name, yet apparently doesn’t know how to use apostrophes?

(See thread title)

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GingerScallop · 09/11/2021 02:10

@smoko

Also it’s pretty funny how OP is so concerned about the baby’s name, yet apparently doesn’t know how to use apostrophes?

(See thread title)

Are you serious? Hmm
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smoko · 09/11/2021 02:21

@GingerScallop - yes, I am. There is some irony there about hand wringing over a name you had 9 months to decide, but not caring about poor grammar & punctuation skills.

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Peteer · 09/11/2021 09:38

@MirandaBlu

6months on my wife and myself didnt like Maeve because it is one syllable is the baffling part to me. You both liked the name enough to use it (and more than Olive), but six months in developed a dislike of one syllable names in general?

Personally, I love Maeve. I wouldn't have chosen Mavis or Olive, but they're OK. All three are solid traditional names and everyone's tastes are different. This is purely up to you and your wife. It sounds like your wife had a clear preference for Mavis and still loves it and you say you like it better than Maeve, which once seemed like the best option - so it's a compromise but shouldn't be a painful one. FWIW, your back story about Olive makes it a perfect middle name in my opinion; something special that's not necessarily used every day but has a kind of private meaning.

On a practical level: assuming you're in the UK any change you make after one year from birth won't update the birth certificate, so another change now means that you'd be dealing with an extra piece of paperwork (deed poll/legal name change form) which will be hassle for your daughter for her whole life. At this point, leave it up to her to make a formal or informal change once she's old enough to decide. If she wants to be Maeve or Mavi or May or Mo or Olive or Ollie or Livvy, it's easy enough to let the school know that's what she goes by even though it's not her legal name.

This comes up quite a bit over on the 'Baby Names' board - whether it's name regret, or a parent compromising on a name they don't love but the other parent does, or giving in to family tradition when they'd prefer a different name. Most people seem to get used to the name (assuming it's not something particularly awful from their perspective) and end up just thinking of it as their child's name and loving it because of that.

Thanks for the advice Miranda 👍
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Marvellousmadness · 09/11/2021 09:43

Mavis olive. Sounds like a type of olive

Dont blame the midwife and take some responsibility . You could have told her to back off. I told my midwife my baby had no name. Ad my partner and i both wanted a different name. So the baby was named baby marvellousmadness in the hospital/wristband.

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Peteer · 09/11/2021 09:49

@EnidFrighten

I think Mavis is a brilliant name!

Why don't you just make a special effort to link her to the tree - put a plaque on it, tie a ribbon in it each birthday etc. Or donate to tree aid every year in her name. And ensure she likes eating olives and olive oil, it will set her up for life!

My dad rejected a name before I was born because it was a bit silly, called me a similar one, then changed their mind and I was called both throughout childhood! Think rejected name Jenny, official one Janine. I changed it to be officially the rejected name eventually. You could always call her something involving olive or 'my little olive tree' etc as a term of endearment.

Thats brilliant. Thanks ❤️
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Peteer · 09/11/2021 09:52

@GingerScallop

I think it this is a lovely story. Am sorry you got pressured into naming her so quickly. And that period of time can be overwhelming so I understand why you didn't speak up.
We named ours on day 42 (deadline) just as we went into lift to register. Our second we named I think after 3 weeks.
Talk to your wife to see if you can call her olive. Otherwise Mavis Olive should be a good compromise. They are lovely names and have good ring to them

Thank you very much ❤️
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ittakes2 · 09/11/2021 10:03

Did you make the change legally? because if not her teachers will call her her original name in school.

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Peteer · 09/11/2021 10:09

@smoko

Mavis is a rad name, it’s on my list of future dog’s names for sure! All about old lady names, they’re lovely.

Olive is just one trad name I can’t warm to… maybe it’s that I didn’t like popeye & eat a lot of them… may as well call the kid “biscuit” or something

You had ages to think of names you like & see how they sound to you over time. The kid’s been named now. It’s odd when people change dogs’ names for the sake of it & think you need to let this go, or you will transfer your feelings to the child in some way.

Thanks Smoko 👍
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Peteer · 09/11/2021 10:14

@TheViewFromTheCheapSeats

The more I think on it the more Mavis grows on me as a name. Less room for confusion as well giving the name when she’s older in the phone etc. Maeve/ May/Maueve/ Maud…

Cheers for that 🙂🙂
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nyprincess · 09/11/2021 10:15

I think both names are nice, though I do prefer Olive to Mavis.
Can I ask a question on Maeve.. I though it was pronounced like it would rhymes with wave? But on Made in Chelsea, they pronounce it mava? Which is correct, if any?

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mistermagpie · 09/11/2021 10:18

I don't love Mavis (I do love Olive though!) but it's her name now and I think you just need to move on. My daughter also has an 'old lady' name and she rocks it, your Mavis will too and she's got the back up of calling herself Maeve for short if she wants.

As an aside, one of my sons is 6 and I'm still not sure about his name. I love the name, I suppose, but I'm not actually sure it suits him and sometimes feel a bit cringe shouting him in the park or whatever. It's a very 'strong' name and he's a very shy and quiet boy, which might be part of it. Anyway, the point is, I gave him the name, it's his now and how I feel about it is irrelevant. I think you are at this point too and just need to accept it's her name.

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Snugglybuggly · 09/11/2021 10:39

Don't like Mavis

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laudete · 09/11/2021 10:42

Felicitations on your lovely baby daughter; I wish you years of joy and happiness with her.

I have changed my name, as an adult. Your child may do that too. It's just a name; it's meaningful to you but not necessarily to your child. What will be meaningful to your child is sharing stories about your olive tree and her grandmother. Collate some photos, fill a journal, share your treasured family stories. Don't get hung up on a name. x

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Skeumorph · 09/11/2021 10:44

I like Mavis more than Olive

Take away all connotations and Mavis has such a better rhythm to it, Olive just ends badly for a name, it's clunky -probably why Olivia is so much more massively popular.

I don't absolutely love Mavis either mind you - I would have gone for Maeve, but it is more popular.

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Petra1981 · 10/11/2021 13:06

Her name is Mavis Olive right? Just keep it and call her olive. My name on my birth certificate etc shows as Marina Petra but I’ve only ever been called petra. This is not unusual. See James Paul McCartney for example. He’s always gone by Paul.

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