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My daughters name.
118

Peteer · 06/11/2021 21:08

Hi, i have a 13 month old daughter.
When my wife was pregnant i wanted to call her Olive after my Olive tree, a couple weeks before she was born i thouht Maeve was a nice name also.
When she was born i was torn between the 2 names, the midwife put pressure on us to name the baby so we named her Maeve.
6months on my wife and myself didnt like Maeve because it is one syllable so we changed her name to Mavis Olive.
My wife loves the name Mavis i like it more than Maeve but it doesent really warm to me. I really regret not naming her Olive. I love Mavis she is perfect i guess im worried she might not like her name one day too.

This issue has me really stressed.
Any opinions will be appreciated. Thanks..

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

MereDintofPandiculation · 07/11/2021 11:30

You wanted to her your child after your olive tree Hmm? Why on earth would you name a child after a tree Why wouldn't you? Trees are lovely natural beings, long-lived and each with their own beautiful characteristics. Olive, Holly, Rowan, Laurel, Hazel are long established names, and I've come across an Ash. Better to my mind than naming after a country or a capital city.

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MereDintofPandiculation · 07/11/2021 11:31

Even if you like the name now, there's no guarantee that in twenty years time you don't say to yourself "why on earth did we name her that?"

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Peteer · 07/11/2021 23:29

@RitaMills

Mavis is lovely, as is Maeve. Olive I’m not too keen on but these things are subjective.

What did your wife prefer?

my wife loves Mavis
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Peteer · 07/11/2021 23:35

@aSofaNearYou

It's no more likely that she'll dislike Mavis than Olive so I wouldn't worry about her not liking it. Personally I would just relax, you are overthinking it.

Thanks for your kind words.
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GingerScallop · 08/11/2021 00:12

I think it this is a lovely story. Am sorry you got pressured into naming her so quickly. And that period of time can be overwhelming so I understand why you didn't speak up.
We named ours on day 42 (deadline) just as we went into lift to register. Our second we named I think after 3 weeks.
Talk to your wife to see if you can call her olive. Otherwise Mavis Olive should be a good compromise. They are lovely names and have good ring to them

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smoko · 08/11/2021 00:16

You had 9 months to think of names!

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ThirdElephant · 08/11/2021 05:49

@smoko

You had 9 months to think of names!

To be fair, when the baby is still encased in another person, it's very hard to see if a name suits them! I didn't name either of mine until after they'd been out for over 24 hours.
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HomeSliceKnowsBest · 08/11/2021 07:44

I think Mavis will appreciate being Mavis in a sea of Ava and Amelias.
Surely it is due a comeback? Your wife is happy, your daughter is healthy, what more do you need really? Flowers. Use her name as much as you can so it becomes familiar and own it!

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TreesoftheField · 08/11/2021 07:51

Bah we also got pressure, baby had been in NICU for 5 days and nurse told us she didn't want to call him Baby anymore!!!
We also had Rowan on our list because of our Rowan tree, so not weird.

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guinnessguzzler · 08/11/2021 07:57

Shakespeare called this centuries ago. Your daughter's name is beautiful because she is beautiful and you love her. The story about the tree is lovely but as she still has Olive as her middle name it still stands; think of it as being at the centre, core or heart of her name. It is still special.

Whenever my kids meet someone new and tell me their name I say, 'What a wonderful name' or similar. Every name is special because it belongs to a unique human being who was given it (hopefully) by someone full of love for them. I know that sounds a bit cheesy and I really don't care.

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EnjoyingTheSilence · 08/11/2021 08:00

I was also wondering about why on earth you would want to name your baby after a tree but saw you answered that one and totally get it now.

Don’t worry about your DD’s name, it’s her name now and it will suit her.

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Pottedpalm · 08/11/2021 08:21

I don’t understand this. Surely your baby’s name is what you put on the birth certificate? Not what the midwife writes on a book?

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Tiredofitallnowxx · 08/11/2021 08:30

Mavis Olive is a beautiful name and now I know Mavis means song thrush (every days a school day) I have a lovely picture of an olive tree with a song thrush sitting in it singing a glorious song. Don't underestimate the value of baby's mum being happy either, that counts for a lot.

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Sandinmyknickers · 08/11/2021 08:50

I think as this thread has shown you, people have all different preferences when it comes yo names, so there is no way of telling if your daughter will prefer it or not. You can't control that now I'm afraid.
What you can do, is raise a lovely daughter. Focus on that and enjoy your young family. Grin

(All 3 names are lovely in my opinion for what it's worth)

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Peteer · 08/11/2021 09:42

@Platax

Did you formally change the name on the birth certificate?

yeah we did formally change the name frome Maeve to Mavis and add Olive as a middle name, I just really regret not calling her Olive at the start. It really gets me down.
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Peteer · 08/11/2021 10:04

@Sandinmyknickers

I think as this thread has shown you, people have all different preferences when it comes yo names, so there is no way of telling if your daughter will prefer it or not. You can't control that now I'm afraid.
What you can do, is raise a lovely daughter. Focus on that and enjoy your young family. Grin

(All 3 names are lovely in my opinion for what it's worth)

Thank you, i have been really struggling with this, its is a big decision a name in my eyes, I like the name Mavis i think it is cool & my wife wanted that but i love Olive too, i just feel like i made a terrible mistake that i have to live with now.
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Lemonsyellow · 08/11/2021 10:11

1: It’s not a terrible mistake.
2: Your wife loves the name, you like it. Sometimes two people have to comprise a bit on a name, as both people have a say.
3: Your child is and will be the same person, no matter what her name is.
4: Olive is still one of her names. It’s at the very heart of her full name.
5: This level of distress over a name maybe indicates that some type of psychological stress is going on.

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ThePoisonousMushroom · 08/11/2021 10:17

I just feel like i made a terrible mistake that i have to live with now

But the choice wasn’t entirely yours, it was your wife’s too. And you say she loves Mavis. If you had chosen Olive, maybe your wife would be having these feelings now rather than you. Would you prefer that?
There is nearly always some compromise involved in naming a baby. This was your compromise. Olive is still part of her name.

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aSofaNearYou · 08/11/2021 10:32

Thank you, i have been really struggling with this, its is a big decision a name in my eyes, I like the name Mavis i think it is cool & my wife wanted that but i love Olive too, i just feel like i made a terrible mistake that i have to live with now.

I agree with other posters here OP - you say your wife actively wanted that name. Tbh, with her being the one carrying the baby, you did the right thing compromising and allowing her to have the name she preferred. Does your DD have your surname, as well?

YOU didn't make a terrible mistake, the two of you decided together and this was the preferred option between the two of you.

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Squeezita · 08/11/2021 10:38

[quote Footle]@Squeezita , OP may be a woman. Chill. [/quote]
I never said OP was a man. Chill.

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Yearonebesties · 08/11/2021 10:39

Unsure why you seem to think naming the baby was entirely up to you Confused your wife loves it, end of surely?

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ChristmasGrogu · 08/11/2021 10:40

You picked both options? Did your wife get a say?

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MirandaBlu · 08/11/2021 11:39

6months on my wife and myself didnt like Maeve because it is one syllable is the baffling part to me. You both liked the name enough to use it (and more than Olive), but six months in developed a dislike of one syllable names in general?

Personally, I love Maeve. I wouldn't have chosen Mavis or Olive, but they're OK. All three are solid traditional names and everyone's tastes are different. This is purely up to you and your wife. It sounds like your wife had a clear preference for Mavis and still loves it and you say you like it better than Maeve, which once seemed like the best option - so it's a compromise but shouldn't be a painful one. FWIW, your back story about Olive makes it a perfect middle name in my opinion; something special that's not necessarily used every day but has a kind of private meaning.

On a practical level: assuming you're in the UK any change you make after one year from birth won't update the birth certificate, so another change now means that you'd be dealing with an extra piece of paperwork (deed poll/legal name change form) which will be hassle for your daughter for her whole life. At this point, leave it up to her to make a formal or informal change once she's old enough to decide. If she wants to be Maeve or Mavi or May or Mo or Olive or Ollie or Livvy, it's easy enough to let the school know that's what she goes by even though it's not her legal name.

This comes up quite a bit over on the 'Baby Names' board - whether it's name regret, or a parent compromising on a name they don't love but the other parent does, or giving in to family tradition when they'd prefer a different name. Most people seem to get used to the name (assuming it's not something particularly awful from their perspective) and end up just thinking of it as their child's name and loving it because of that.

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Toddlerteaplease · 08/11/2021 11:40

The midwife put pressure on you?!!!!

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hangrylady · 08/11/2021 12:06

Mavis is an old lady name that belongs in the past IMO. But that's my opinion, a random online so it's not important if you love the name.

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