Swimming lesson changing room rules . AIBU

[ExplodingCarrots]

Since children's swimming lessons has re-commenced at our local leisure centre they have changed how the changing rooms are used.
There are no longer separate male and female changing . The way they've worked it is that deep end lessons use the male changing rooms and shallow end lessons use the female changing. They're very strict with this rule and have people manning it.

This means that boys and girls are mixed . My DD is 8, and is in a deep end lesson so uses the male changing room. There are no cubicles in there and it's all benches and open plan. She has started puberty very early (and is very dark haired) and is obviously very self conscious . The female changing rooms on the other hand have 10+ cubicles.

She got very upset at the realisation she'd have to change in front of boys up to 12 years old and men who are there with their kids. The first lesson we struggled to hide her in a corner but now we just put a long towel robe over her and we leave straight away ..which is a pain because it's a 30 minute drive home and she's freezing.

When I brought it up with reception I had a sympathetic nod and said yes they understood it was difficult but because of Covid that's the way it is and because of mixing we are not allowed to use female changing to use a cubicle.

Has anybody else's leisure centre got this set up?

Would you feel comfortable with your developing DC changing in front of the opposite sex with no access to cubicles ? I'm sure the boys hate changing in front of the girls too. If they're only toddlers I could understand but most of the deep end lessons are children 7-12.

I want to gauge if IBU before I send an email to the leisure centre.

Oops my comment started at “fair enough.” The rest is OP’s quote.

What a bizarre rule - I'm normally one who think a lot the pool changing complaints are silly but I'm with you on this one OP. Definitely raise this or consider moving to a different pool

If they switched the changing rooms and put the deep end lessons in the female then all the kids would have access to a cubicle.

This wound make slightly more sense - presumably the shallow end dc are much younger therefore less bothered about who sees what and also less likely to be unaccompanied. I'm assuming the men's feeds out to the deep end though so they think they are preventing people crossing paths?

@Simplelobsterhat

We are on Wales and our swimming lessons (private company using lea secondary school pool) still isn't using changing rooms at all - they need to arrive with robes/ dressing gowns / onesie and sandals and put them on at side of pool then change at home. It's not ideal now that it's getting colder but you've made me realise I'd rather it than some of the alternatives! The changing rooms were very small and busy so I can see the logic. I can't offer what you are describing though. I thought 'bubbles' had pretty much been dropped now. And indeed, if they do have to do it like that, it would make more sense to put the older ones in the room with cubicles. It's not so much the other kids that are the issue I don't think at primary age, but the dads. At 8 or above you should have the option of single sex even if some might not be bothered yet.

What about families without cars/those that live far from the pool? Are the kids expected to wait for a bus in 5C cold in wet gear? I guess those kids just don't go swimming?

From year 4 children changed separately for PE at school. If this is a council leisure centre I would definitely complain to them as well a no d maybe look at moving

What are the other pools doing?

Ours has re opened the changing rooms without forcing girls and boys to change together.

I suggest they either close of they cant provide safe set ups or they allow peope to use the correct spaces and stop participating in the sexual harassment/abuse of children

That set up goes against the 2017 Swim Wales safeguarding policies which appears to assume single sex changing rooms or family facilities are used and advocates for single sex areas within mixed sex changing villages.

See P61: swimwales.org/key-documents/98/download

This Swim Wales policy is currently offline as it’s under review but has to be adopted by every affiliated aquatics body (so may include the swim school as they are often affiliated).

Safeguarding contact at Swim Wales is Zita Cameron: [email protected]

I assume they wouldn't go... it's the schools decision apparently as the swimming company can use the changing rooms in the other school they use. As it's private lessons not council run i guess they don't have to take these things into account. It's the kind of place most people would have been driving to anyway.
Not ideal at all.

Sorry that was supposed to be a reply to BigHuff

You are definitely not being U. This is not acceptable at all, and yet another rubbish change being made 'because of the pandemic'.

@ExplodingCarrots

I will see what they come back to me with and decide how to go forward if their response isn't great.

They stagger the lessons of each section so they're not in the changing room at the same but a deep end lesson could still finish same time as shallow end so can't use each other's changing room.

She already has a large robe but I will look at getting a bigger one to make her feel more secure. She arrives with her costume on , it's just the changing at the end. We've just been dealing with the shoving the robe on and leaving for a couple of weeks but we've had a sudden temperature drop here and she was actually shivering the other day and it just made me cross that it shouldn't be like this. They're not allowed showers still.

We used to be able to shower, change in cubicle , pjs on and home .

DD has slight sensory issues so she will not put a onesie on if she's slightly damp. She wants to be able to fully dry herself. When we tried to dry her initially whilst hiding you could see the worry and panic on her face and she kept looking to check anyone was looking at her

I'm quite cross now that they've been doing this and it's very very wrong.

Honestly the weatherproof changing robes are absolutely amazing. We are in Wales as well, and you can imagine how cold it is changing after whitewater training.

If you get one big enough she can even take a towel inside the robe. Have you seen the super absorbent small towels like a shammy that swimming club kids use, they are great for getting completely dry (oldest daughter was swimmer, youngest is kayaker).

www.twobarefeet.co.uk/wetsuits/accessories/changing-robes.html

or

frostfire.co.uk/collection/outdoor/

Absolutely not OK. Definitely complain.

Op I'd seriously push for the pop up tents, your DD can't be the only person feeling uncomfortable in an open unisex changing area.
Ideally permanent cubicles would be the answer in but the pop up changing tents would be a very cheap and quick solution.
Speak with the swim school.

I'm in Scotland so the covid rules are stricker than England's so I totally get it. I'd also worry if you kick up to much of a stink they'd pull the plug.
I'm currently travelling to a pool 15 miles away because the council lessons are full won't even allow more kids on the waiting list and covid rules and many hoops are preventing the private school letting their pool out.

This is ridiculous. I think move pools and tell them why. And when you have found a pool without such stupid policies, tell all your parent friends.

The tiny, family run pool where my DD has lessons managed to install new cubicles, just curtains hung from the ceiling but better than nothing, and reduce air transmission risks too I imagine.

Pretty sure that’s illegal? It’s religious discrimination for sure (in that it means women can’t attend the pool if they are from religions where it’s forbidden to be nude in front of strange men eg judaism and islam), probably also illegal under sex equality legislation.

Might be some info here fairplayforwomen.com/changing_rooms/

I havnt heard anything back yet but it's Sunday.
I'm anticipating them saying 'you don't have to get changed you can arrive pool ready and leave with a robe / cover up' ..basically that being their 'reason'. But like I said, the weather is changing now. It's dark when we leave and it's cold. All DD has on is her long robe.
We chose this leisure centre because our closest one was unorganised and lessons were poor. The quality of lessons at this one is fantastic, I can't fault the teachers. Just this changing rule.

@Bananarama21

I'm a swimming teacher and it's definitely a safeguarding issue what happens when the public are using the changing facilities. We have a changing village which is mixed but it's all cubicles. Personally I'd report them.to the local authorities and change swimming lesson provider.

THIS. It's a definite safeguarding issue.

I was going to suggest that you take one of those portable beach sun shade things and pop that around her as a screen.

I've had a response from the leisure centre and it's beyond shocking. Hasnt acknowledged the safeguarding concerns at all . Just said 'sorry your daughter was upset....we're constantly reviewing procedures ...we're hoping to move back
To pre pandemic procedures soon...we'll keep you updated ...have you noticed we've got rid of social distancing take now (and ??) ...thank you for your understanding'

So I'll be finding the appropriate people in the council now.

That should have been 'tape' not take.

I'd respond to both them and the council and ask for as a minimum temporary cubicles should be set up for children getting changed.

I kind of get their views of not having unnecessary mixing but pop up changing tents would at least provide privacy for the kids.

I’d be thanking them for their response and then asking how they intend to address the very obvious safeguarding issues and cc’ing in every newspaper.

Actually, I’d send in your first email proving that you had sent them a copy of their legal safeguarding responsibilities and their response showing that they hadn’t acknowledged that bit at all.

I’d cc that to tv and newspapers

OP just use the toilet to get her changed if they still object. Fuck them. It's not due to covid it's just some stupid idea someone has had an it clearly doesn't work.

OP I'm livid on your behalf reading all of this. I'm furious with all these organisations peddling out Covid as an excuse for all manner of poor managerial and "jobsworth" decisions. It's happening all over the place, but to impact on proper safeguarding of pubescent children is utterly unacceptable.

Please do escalate your complaint in the very strongest of terms, to the CEO, the council safeguarding lead, and your local MP (and local paper if you feel inclined).