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AIBU?

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Original poster

Swimming lesson changing room rules . AIBU

125 replies

ExplodingCarrots · 06/11/2021 18:59

Since children's swimming lessons has re-commenced at our local leisure centre they have changed how the changing rooms are used.
There are no longer separate male and female changing . The way they've worked it is that deep end lessons use the male changing rooms and shallow end lessons use the female changing. They're very strict with this rule and have people manning it.

This means that boys and girls are mixed . My DD is 8, and is in a deep end lesson so uses the male changing room. There are no cubicles in there and it's all benches and open plan. She has started puberty very early (and is very dark haired) and is obviously very self conscious . The female changing rooms on the other hand have 10+ cubicles.

She got very upset at the realisation she'd have to change in front of boys up to 12 years old and men who are there with their kids. The first lesson we struggled to hide her in a corner but now we just put a long towel robe over her and we leave straight away ..which is a pain because it's a 30 minute drive home and she's freezing.

When I brought it up with reception I had a sympathetic nod and said yes they understood it was difficult but because of Covid that's the way it is and because of mixing we are not allowed to use female changing to use a cubicle.

Has anybody else's leisure centre got this set up?

Would you feel comfortable with your developing DC changing in front of the opposite sex with no access to cubicles ? I'm sure the boys hate changing in front of the girls too. If they're only toddlers I could understand but most of the deep end lessons are children 7-12.

I want to gauge if IBU before I send an email to the leisure centre.

OP posts:
FFSFFSFFS · 07/11/2021 00:00

I’d hit the roof and complain all over the place - including local councillor and MPs. Mixed sex changing rooms can’t be allowed to happen by stealth under the guise of covid. Your poor daughter

unknownstory · 07/11/2021 00:09

I'm very pragmatic about stuff.
But a young girl going through puberty needs her privacy

unknownstory · 07/11/2021 00:25

Rightly or wrongly near us all Covid precautions have gone anyway.

Lockdownbear · 07/11/2021 00:30

@unknownstory

Rightly or wrongly near us all Covid precautions have gone anyway.
I wish it was the same here. Scotland is still in the thick of it, secondary kids are in masks all day, college and uni mainly on line. I'm just glad I've got my kids in swimming lessons so put up with the restrictions that at least let it happen without bringing wet kids out into the cold.
Justilou1 · 07/11/2021 06:07

I don’t care WHAT age! I don’t want to see anyone’s dangly bits and I’m almost 50! I certainly don’t want my DD’s near any blokes!

ElftonWednesday · 07/11/2021 06:17

Why is it better "because covid" to lump everyone in together? It's obviously going to be older kids in the deep end lessons and not acceptable for the to change in front of one another. Ridiculous. I'm surprised they haven't already been in the local press.

Stopsnowing · 07/11/2021 06:29

Ages ago I would take my dc to family splash. Men (fathers) used to come into the female communal changing rooms and start stripping off and staff would do nothing about it.

rrhuth · 07/11/2021 06:35

That is unacceptable, I would remove my DD from the class. I would also complain and raise a safeguarding concern.

rrhuth · 07/11/2021 06:37

@ElftonWednesday

Why is it better "because covid" to lump everyone in together? It's obviously going to be older kids in the deep end lessons and not acceptable for the to change in front of one another. Ridiculous. I'm surprised they haven't already been in the local press.
It is because they are keeping the lesson groups separate in case of an outbreak in one class. The covid reasoning is understandable - but their solution is unacceptable as it creates another, serious, risk.
ElftonWednesday · 07/11/2021 06:40

I don't think the reasoning works for Covid either.

rrhuth · 07/11/2021 06:41

@ElftonWednesday

I don't think the reasoning works for Covid either.
Confused

They are treating them as separate 'bubbles', no? It limits contact tracing.

anon12345678901 · 07/11/2021 06:47

I would raise a complaint, that's going way too far. Covid measure or not, it's completely over the top.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 07/11/2021 07:26

Bloody hell, that’s not on. Definitely escalate it as high as possible. No way would I be happy with that.

iloverainydays · 07/11/2021 07:37

How in earth does this prevent the spread of covid? I don't get it.

livelyredjellybean · 07/11/2021 07:45

Why can they not stagger the times of the lessons? If the shallow end finishes before the deep end, then they can still use separate changing rooms?!

nameyouwhat · 07/11/2021 07:49

I am angry for you. Who would think that is acceptable ffs

logsonlogsoff · 07/11/2021 07:54

That all sounds mad! I would get her a towelling changing robe / we use them for the beach and water sports. Get a small adult size and you’ll get a good few years out of it too - RED do a good one for about £50,
Pricey but great quality has pockets and you will have it for years.

Simplelobsterhat · 07/11/2021 07:57

We are on Wales and our swimming lessons (private company using lea secondary school pool) still isn't using changing rooms at all - they need to arrive with robes/ dressing gowns / onesie and sandals and put them on at side of pool then change at home. It's not ideal now that it's getting colder but you've made me realise I'd rather it than some of the alternatives! The changing rooms were very small and busy so I can see the logic. I can't offer what you are describing though. I thought 'bubbles' had pretty much been dropped now. And indeed, if they do have to do it like that, it would make more sense to put the older ones in the room with cubicles. It's not so much the other kids that are the issue I don't think at primary age, but the dads. At 8 or above you should have the option of single sex even if some might not be bothered yet.

thetittifer · 07/11/2021 08:08

If you start a petition I'll sign it!

Original poster
ExplodingCarrots · 07/11/2021 08:15

I will see what they come back to me with and decide how to go forward if their response isn't great.

They stagger the lessons of each section so they're not in the changing room at the same but a deep end lesson could still finish same time as shallow end so can't use each other's changing room.

She already has a large robe but I will look at getting a bigger one to make her feel more secure. She arrives with her costume on , it's just the changing at the end. We've just been dealing with the shoving the robe on and leaving for a couple of weeks but we've had a sudden temperature drop here and she was actually shivering the other day and it just made me cross that it shouldn't be like this. They're not allowed showers still.

We used to be able to shower, change in cubicle , pjs on and home .

DD has slight sensory issues so she will not put a onesie on if she's slightly damp. She wants to be able to fully dry herself. When we tried to dry her initially whilst hiding you could see the worry and panic on her face and she kept looking to check anyone was looking at her Sad

I'm quite cross now that they've been doing this and it's very very wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
ExplodingCarrots · 07/11/2021 08:19

@Simplelobsterhat

We are on Wales and our swimming lessons (private company using lea secondary school pool) still isn't using changing rooms at all - they need to arrive with robes/ dressing gowns / onesie and sandals and put them on at side of pool then change at home. It's not ideal now that it's getting colder but you've made me realise I'd rather it than some of the alternatives! The changing rooms were very small and busy so I can see the logic. I can't offer what you are describing though. I thought 'bubbles' had pretty much been dropped now. And indeed, if they do have to do it like that, it would make more sense to put the older ones in the room with cubicles. It's not so much the other kids that are the issue I don't think at primary age, but the dads. At 8 or above you should have the option of single sex even if some might not be bothered yet.
Yes they're still very rigid with the rules. Member of staff at the door with a clipboard asking for the name and then making sure you're going to the right place. Not allowed in until a couple of minutes before your slot etc
OP posts:
josssie · 07/11/2021 08:21

This is not acceptable. I'd be straight down there. Good luck op

Chocolatewheatos · 07/11/2021 08:27

God that's appalling. Everyone must be so uncomfortable.

MangoIce · 07/11/2021 08:32

@ExplodingCarrots It's hard to tell. My DD is 8 but looks much older. But there are dads in there with their kids.

I'm sure adults swimming isn't set up like this because surely there'd be an uproar . But kids starting puberty ..yeah that's fine.
Fair enough if they were all the same age… but it’s disgusting that your Dd is not allowed to use a cubicle and has to get naked in front of older boys and grown men! I would get in contact with your local newspaper or spread it on social media. Bad publicity might make the leisure centre change their mind.