Swimming lesson changing room rules . AIBU

[ExplodingCarrots]

Since children's swimming lessons has re-commenced at our local leisure centre they have changed how the changing rooms are used.
There are no longer separate male and female changing . The way they've worked it is that deep end lessons use the male changing rooms and shallow end lessons use the female changing. They're very strict with this rule and have people manning it.

This means that boys and girls are mixed . My DD is 8, and is in a deep end lesson so uses the male changing room. There are no cubicles in there and it's all benches and open plan. She has started puberty very early (and is very dark haired) and is obviously very self conscious . The female changing rooms on the other hand have 10+ cubicles.

She got very upset at the realisation she'd have to change in front of boys up to 12 years old and men who are there with their kids. The first lesson we struggled to hide her in a corner but now we just put a long towel robe over her and we leave straight away ..which is a pain because it's a 30 minute drive home and she's freezing.

When I brought it up with reception I had a sympathetic nod and said yes they understood it was difficult but because of Covid that's the way it is and because of mixing we are not allowed to use female changing to use a cubicle.

Has anybody else's leisure centre got this set up?

Would you feel comfortable with your developing DC changing in front of the opposite sex with no access to cubicles ? I'm sure the boys hate changing in front of the girls too. If they're only toddlers I could understand but most of the deep end lessons are children 7-12.

I want to gauge if IBU before I send an email to the leisure centre.

Awful

Definitely appalling and has to be against safeguarding. They would not be allowed to use this arrangement for school lessons. Also I am surprised they are still doing covid stuff now... our leisure centre gave that up a few months ago (prior to this we were banned from changing rooms at all!!)

Have they explained how your daughter being forced to change in front of boys and men is preventing covid?

Complain - first to the leisure centre/pool - and if council owned, advance it up to the council and MP

@MilduraS

Have they explained how your daughter being forced to change in front of boys and men is preventing covid?

To spread people out to prevent the female changing being 'busier'. Even though lessons are much more staggered now.

You are DEFINITELY not being unreasonable. This is appalling 😲

I would just use the women's changing room.

Thank you. I'm glad you agree. It's bad enough going though this at such a young age ..but being made to feel this uncomfortable and not having a 'safe' space to change has been horrible for her.

This is awful. Massive safeguarding risk. Which country are you in that still has such draconian rules?

I’m in SE and our leisure centre is business as usual. No Covid restrictions aside from extra hand sanitiser dispensers.

I'd find another pool. This is unacceptable.

It's so inappropriate to impose this.

Under her robe if she can dry off her cozzie and put on some joggers that would help keep her warm.

You might ask at FWR board as the pool are breaking the equality act for safe spaces for women's sex based protection. You've got safeguarding issues there. (I complained on these grounds to our local liesure centres pre COVID as they'd taken the women's room making it mixed sex/ family and men got to keep theirs single sex. )

That's fucking batshit levels of stupid.
Just take your daughter into the female changing room FGS!

Raving bonkers. Demand a copy of their risk assessment and safeguarding policy. Copy in the head of the council, MP and council safeguarding lead to your complaint

That’s awful for your dd, and a bit strange too. I also think it’s strange that only the ladies changing have cubicles and men and boys haven’t been provided with some privacy as well.

Personally I’d get together with other parents and see what they say and maybe petition the council

Is this in the Uk? This sounds totally unreasonable, complain by letter and in person. If this is a swimming club it is definitely against the rules and, if in the uk and council run leisure centre I would highly suspect that it is too! Would love to know which idiot was responsible for suggesting this!

@Bananarama21

I'm a swimming teacher and it's definitely a safeguarding issue what happens when the public are using the changing facilities. We have a changing village which is mixed but it's all cubicles. Personally I'd report them.to the local authorities and change swimming lesson provider.

This is very good advice. Your poor dd. It must also be very embarrassing for the boys. Idk which idiot came up with this idea. But I’d be citing the EA2010 regarding single sex spaces.

There is not a chance in hell I would expect my dd to change in those circumstances. If she was comfortable with it, that would be one thing, but I know she would not be. She has a right to privacy and she also has a right not to see men changing if she doesn’t want to see them changing.

It’s highly inappropriate. If possible, I’d find another pool, and explain why you are leaving. Have you considered speaking to the local newspaper?

Yanbu this is really concerning.. very ill thought out.
I work in justice services and when a sex offender strikes up a new hobby of ‘swimming’ it is a concern to me. Not to freak anyone out but this could be an opportunity for someone with deviant sexual interests. Absolutely write that email

I absolutely would not be using that pool for lessons anymore. If your DD feels uncomfortable with it that would be enough for me to stop going there

Useful guidance here from NSPCC thecpsu.org.uk/media/445544/safe-use-of-changing-facilities-lg-july-2020.pdf - screenshot in particular. Swim England is supposed to have its own guidance too, but I can't find that - it would say the same though

@Slub

That's fucking batshit levels of stupid. Just take your daughter into the female changing room FGS!

If it were that straight forward I would. But staff members are there directing you and flat out won't let you use the other room. And I don't want to start an argument in front of DD.

I've now sent an email to the leisure centre and have copied on the council . I couldn't find their safeguarding lead so hopefully they will still see it and pass it along .

I think they believe 'oh it's just young kids it's not an issue them changing together ' forgetting that there's children like my DD who start puberty early . I developed early and had to go to school swimming lessons but at least I had the safety and privacy of my own cubicle.

That's a terrible way of doing it and raises safeguarding concerns all over the place. Developing girls should be being forced to change in front of men! Ditto for developing boys in front of women!

I'm in Wales btw.