Feeling guilty for getting my cat neutered

[Sammy900]

Hey

Just wondering what other peoples views are and if I'm overthinking it or being unreasonable? I just want different opinions, experiences really so I can weigh up both sides....

Today our handsome boy cat went to the vets and was neutered and I've never felt so ethically uneasy and awful about making a decision for a pet. I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce :(

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, he will be less likely to get into fights and be exposed to other illnesses from that, he won't spray around the house. We have two cats a boy and girl and they are brother and sister so it would be a whole load of wrongness later on ....

I just feel so uncomfortable about it, so much that I don't want anymore male pets now that I have to face this decision for. I love my pets and I suppose in some ways, further down the line of the argument it's unfair/restrictive to prevent anything from living a wild and free life.

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....any thoughts or experiences of a similar vein ? un-neutered pets that were a nightmare?

What does everyone else think?

Is it right for the animal...?

No: Why?... Because of ethical reasons. What are ethical reasons? Opinions, based on what humans think. They're not facts.

Yes: Why?... To stop:
The multiplication of unwanted pets.
Reduce the overcrowding of unwanted pets in rescue centres.
Reduce the number of pets who are abused or abandoned.

Pets from straying and possibly getting lost.
Pets from catching and transmitting diseases.
Pets from developing diseases and disorders common with their reproductive organs.
Pets from getting injured or killed in fights.

There are so many more that could be added to the yes list!

As a pet owner we need to weigh up the pros and cons of the decisions we make. As far as allowing a cat to have just one litter goes, there are so many more reasons to neuter than to not.

@WonderfulYou

I see what you are saying, but do you then feel that all domesticated pets should not be allowed to reproduce at all for their own benefit?

I can’t think of any situation where a pet needs to reproduce for its own benefit.

I agree.

@Dillidilly

So what advice did you get from your vet about neutering/spaying *@Sammy900*?

When we got them microchipped and jabs etc..they just said to book them in and when....We followed advice and had the Tom done but ever since I've felt bad and questioned why....I'll ring them and discuss what's best to do for the girl...I hope they are open minded and can give a fair balanced view and educate on both sides so I can make an informed decision...also will look things up that people have suggested but not just horror stories you guys have expressed lots of those already....I'll lookup the benefits to and how to be a responsible breeder and what's involved in that (not saying I'm going to ...just for information)

Thanks for your input pro-neuters ...All your points are duly noted.

If anyone else has another stance would be interesting to hear...but I don't want to keep rattling around the same circular arguments - like I say I've noted your points so thanks

You posted in AIBU. You've been told that YABU. If you don't want "the same circular arguments" then perhaps you should have reframed your question?

@BackBackBack

You posted in AIBU. You've been told that YABU. If you don't want "the same circular arguments" then perhaps you should have reframed your question?

righto

They're not "circular arguments". It is simply a pretty overwhelming majority who have valid, reasoned and considered points as to why every pet owner should neuter/spay their animals. Those reasons are not circular simply because you disagree and aren't able to provide any meaningful counterpoint.

@WonderfulYou

Why are they born with reproductive organs and then go on to develop the ability and animalistic drive to reproduce?

But then why are you only letting her have one litter then?

Why are they born with sharp canine teeth if we give them meat out of a tin?
Why do they have sharp claws for climbing trees and hunting when we give them enough food to not need to hunt?
Why do they have fur when they live indoors in the warm?
All domesticated pets have things that they don’t really need compared to if they were living in the wild.

We try and keep their lives as natural as possible but it’s impossible to keep it exactly that same.
Not feeding them would mean they use their hunting instinct properly which would be a lot more natural but in reality we know many would starve to death like wild cats often do.
Which one is more cruel - making sure they’re sufficiently fed with cat food which is unnatural or not feeding them at all and letting them hunt for food which is natural?

I think it’s very brave and honest of you to admit you’re struggling with this decision.
But I also think it means you’re not ready to have a female cat right now.

This is a very good post, and not attacking the OP like many others. It's OK to disagree, but personal attacks are not necessary. Calling the OP a thick twat, and talking to her like shit is not going to make her think' 'ah ha, the mumsnetters think I'm a stupid pillock who should not be allowed to breathe the same air as them, so I will take their advice, and do exactly what they say!'

One point you may wish to consider @Sammy900 is that neutering a female cat cannot be any worse than letting her have kittens and then taking the kittens away. (IMO anyway.)

I do disagree with a poster saying the cat knows no better though, and will never know she could have had kittens. I have heard it said by several cat experts (and vets,) that female cats who have been neutered, can sense and smell when another female cat has not been neutered, and it can upset her, and she can be very aggressive towards the other female cat.

So it's not necessarily true that they don't know any better.

All that said, in most cases, it is best to neuter a cat, and me saying 'what about the cat species dying out' is just a 'what if,' and I know in reality they probably won't die out, because - as has been said - some people still don't neuter their cats.

Also, apologies about getting the cats mixed up, I never noticed the OP had her male cat done but not the female one.

@Sammy900

The poster I quoted here @WonderfulYou is right. It may be unnatural to take away a cats ability to reproduce, and it IS, you are right. However, as that poster said, many things are 'not natural' that involve us having cats as 'pets.'

So I think you should have your female cat neutered... as well as your male one.

I feel that I've raised loads of meaningful counterpoints actually!

As far as I can tell your counter arguments are that cats have rights, that it isn't natural to prevent pregnancy, your cat might be sad, and that you'd like some kittens and aren't worried about those kittens growing up and adding to the massive overpopulation of cats we already have. Is there anything else? It's a long thread so I might have missed something.

LittleDandelionClock

Thank you very much for your well thought out points and response - aaah poor things It seems its quite sad all round with whatever decision is made....:( but yes mostly people have suggested to go for neutering

(don't worry I skimmed past the nonsense)

@Sammy900

Do the majority here feel that all domesticated pets should never reproduce?

How would anyone ever have a pet cat?

What about breeders? Can they always guarantee great homes - what about animals that are simply there just used to breed and breed for financial gain, not to mention health problems...

What about Dogs? Other animals

LittleDandelionClock made a good point about this further up the thread

AssassintedBeauty

See above

Sorry OP - it just doesn't make any sense to let her have a litter. I still think you are anthropomorphising - it's not as if she's going to be thinking "Ah well, at least I got to have one lot of kittens before I was spayed!", is she? Do you think she will get emotional or physical benefit from having a litter? When it comes down to it, this is not about actual definable benefit to your cat, it's about your feelings of discomfort about having it done (even though you're going to have it done anyway ).

Your meaningful counterpoint has been to wring your hands about your cat's right to a sex life and to have a litter of kittens.

I completely fail to see the point of this thread, as you seem determined to do what you want regardless of any advice to the contrary. You've had almost 400 posts which have virtually told you the same thing

Actually I've said about 8 times that I've taken all the points on board...I know what the majority have said...I've heard it

@Sammy900 it's worth repeating that I do absolutely think that domestic pet owners should not breed from their pets. Cats, dogs, rabbits, hamsters whatever.

People that want to breed cats (dogs etc) for sale should be licensed and inspected for welfare standards and I would like to see other non-licensed people who breed animals to be heavily fined and sanctioned if necessary. There are just stupid numbers of people allowing their pets to produce offspring and contributing to the massive overpopulation of domestic pet animals.

We have a culture where animals are used for human purposes. Farm animals for meat and other foods, working animals for various purposes and obviously a large number of domestic pets. We have a responsibility to all those animals to look after their welfare and treat them properly. People who breed their animals at home are making matters worse by contributing to overpopulation and creating more animals to be abandoned, mistreated etc etc.

We won't run out of cats for decades and even if we somehow did, we could take other countries abandoned animals. If that ever ran out, we could have a limited number of licenses to breed standard moggies to meet the demand for pets.

I recognise that for many people, their welfare is improved by having a pet. That's a reasonable trade off for the animals involved as long as they are looked after properly and people are responsible for their pets.

And you have also said that you are still wanting opposing viewpoints. Why do you need opposing viewpoints (despite the fact that almost 400 posts in, hardly anyone has offered one), unless you are planning to stick to your guns?

Anyway, do as you will. Best of luck to your cat.

And yet you’re still hoping your vet will have a “balanced” view so that you can get away without neutering your cat.

If you want to breed kittens to make money then at least just say that. It’s not really about her right to have sex is it? Unless you have a weird thing about animal sex you can’t really be that invested in it.

If you do want to breed kittens you’re going need a proper pedigree kitty, not just some random moggy, otherwise whatever money you get for the kittens won’t even cover the cost of feeding, insuring, immunising and neutering them, which any responsible breeder would include as part of the package. Oh wait, you could save on the neutering part of course by just not bothering of course.

So which is it? You want to sell kittens, using your poor cat’s body as a profitable entity. Or you’re ignoring the reality of how unpleasant sex is for female cats.

[quote AssassinatedBeauty]@Sammy900 it's worth repeating that I do absolutely think that domestic pet owners should not breed from their pets. Cats, dogs, rabbits, hamsters whatever.

People that want to breed cats (dogs etc) for sale should be licensed and inspected for welfare standards and I would like to see other non-licensed people who breed animals to be heavily fined and sanctioned if necessary. There are just stupid numbers of people allowing their pets to produce offspring and contributing to the massive overpopulation of domestic pet animals.

We have a culture where animals are used for human purposes. Farm animals for meat and other foods, working animals for various purposes and obviously a large number of domestic pets. We have a responsibility to all those animals to look after their welfare and treat them properly. People who breed their animals at home are making matters worse by contributing to overpopulation and creating more animals to be abandoned, mistreated etc etc.

We won't run out of cats for decades and even if we somehow did, we could take other countries abandoned animals. If that ever ran out, we could have a limited number of licenses to breed standard moggies to meet the demand for pets.

I recognise that for many people, their welfare is improved by having a pet. That's a reasonable trade off for the animals involved as long as they are looked after properly and people are responsible for their pets.[/quote]
Excellent post!

AssassinatedBeauty

Yes fair point I actually agree that licencing and welfare checks would be a very good idea to prevent mistreatment and neglect / abuse and regulate breeders who aren't being responsible or using the animal just for money. This is an area for me to look into maybe or gather information on more so thanks for bringing it up....

RaisedByPangolins

I'm sorry but you really haven't understood my point of view..I haven't got a hidden agenda ....I'm simply considering the ethics of making the decision for my pet to have a life altering operation, so essentially playing god for my animal

Not sure why I have to keep repeating myself - I thought I'd made it clear what the issue was

Weirdly @Sammy900 when I first started having cats - some 20 years back - I also thought it was shame/sad that my female cats could not have babies, and felt a bit of a twang of guilt, and wondered if I should let her have a litter first. I am not kidding, I really genuinely thought that too, so I get where you're coming from.

But the vets, the 'cats protection league,' and the owner of a pet shop who lived near me in my road, all said 'ooh no you MUST have them neutered. In fact, we got one of our cats from cats protection, and they had already neutered her.

Obviously a few need to remain un-neutered, as the species will die off (as I said earlier,) but it's right (because of the many reasons listed here) that the vast majority should be neutered.

I don't think it's massively expensive either... About £50 to £75. It's a one-time payment, and will be a lot cheaper, and a lot less hassle than having to raise and look after 5 or 6 kittens! And your female cat won't have any less of a life because of it.

You already are playing god for your pet, in all aspects of its life. Choosing to buy them and have them in your home was playing god. Choosing to chip them is playing god, as is choosing to worm them, de flea them etc etc etc as has already been said many times. This neutering/spaying issue feels different to you for your own personal feelings around it, but it really is exactly the same as all the other decisions your cats get no say in.

@Sammy900

RaisedByPangolins

I'm sorry but you really haven't understood my point of view..I haven't got a hidden agenda ....I'm simply considering the ethics of making the decision for my pet to have a life altering operation, so essentially playing god for my animal

Not sure why I have to keep repeating myself - I thought I'd made it clear what the issue was

As soon as you bring the pet in through the front door you are playing god to that animal. you won't let them piss on your bed or shit on the kitchen worktop, you won't let them have fleas or ticks or worms. You probably won't let them sharpen your claws on your furniture or attack your children. As I said, the only way to avoid playing god is not to have the pet.

@AssassinatedBeauty
snap!