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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling guilty for getting my cat neutered

559 replies

Sammy900 · 05/11/2021 22:45

Hey

Just wondering what other peoples views are and if I'm overthinking it or being unreasonable? I just want different opinions, experiences really so I can weigh up both sides....

Today our handsome boy cat went to the vets and was neutered and I've never felt so ethically uneasy and awful about making a decision for a pet. I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce :(

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, he will be less likely to get into fights and be exposed to other illnesses from that, he won't spray around the house. We have two cats a boy and girl and they are brother and sister so it would be a whole load of wrongness later on ....

I just feel so uncomfortable about it, so much that I don't want anymore male pets now that I have to face this decision for. I love my pets and I suppose in some ways, further down the line of the argument it's unfair/restrictive to prevent anything from living a wild and free life.

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....any thoughts or experiences of a similar vein ? un-neutered pets that were a nightmare?

What does everyone else think?

OP posts:
DrCoconut · 06/11/2021 15:28

My cat died from FIV related problems. It was horrible. He was a rescue. I took him in from the street and had him neutered once it was clear he was staying but he was probably already infected. Prevention is so much better than cure here.

EvenRosesHaveThorns · 06/11/2021 15:29

You are so selfish and deaf as a post, replying to all these comments but you're not reading them, it's not getting through, all the reality and consequences of not neutering your female cat. You want baby kittens because they're cute, but you're blind to the bigger picture. Your vet would never advise you not to neuter your pet. I wonder if you have even ever vaccinated or taken your cat to a vet because this is the advice they would always give you. Let's face it, you're not interested in receiving advice, you're arrogant, and you're a massive troll. Just stop upsetting genuine cat owners, experienced people and people that actually give a damn about their pets' welfare and move on.

titchy · 06/11/2021 15:30

Look stop all navel gazing. Is it more harmful or more beneficial to your female cat to have one litter?

The answer is that it is more harmful. Why would you choose the most harmful option?

LittleDandelionClock · 06/11/2021 15:30

@EvenRosesHaveThorns

What a nasty post.

Read the full thread. The OP has had her cat done.

LittleDandelionClock · 06/11/2021 15:31

@NeverDropYourMooncup

We aren't ever going to run out of kittens. There will still be strays as a direct result of them following the hormonal urges to escape from not being spayed/neutered. You only need one unneutered Tom and unspayed female cat escaping to cause a population explosion in a year -

On escape - 2 cats
1st mating - 2 cats + 4-12 kittens = 4 to 14 animals
2nd mating a few weeks later - 4 to 14 from 1st + 4 to 12 kittens = 8 to 26 animals
The first litter reach sexual maturity around 4 - 6 months, assume half are female and they've been mated by their father = 26 animals plus (13 females times 4 to 12 kittens each) = over a hundred animals.

and then there's the 2nd litter reaching maturity = hundreds of animals in less than a year.

We are never going to run out of cats.

That's an interesting little set of figures, and you are probably on the money if a few cats escape and don't get neutered... But what I actually said is what if every single cat is neutered, EVERY SINGLE CAT. I am not interested in the ones who escape before they are neutered...

And the posts calling my question 'silly' and LOL-ing at it, saying 'ha ha ha as if we will run out of cats' clearly couldn't be arsed to read my post properly. Saying 'oooh there's 1000s of cats in Saudi/Greece/China blah blah blah...' is moot, because there won't be any in any country, if every bloody cat is neutered when they are very young WILL there? Hmm

So the question still stands although we are all encouraged to neuter our cats (and I was quite happy to do mine...) What if EVERY cat was neutered? No, actually don't bother answering, because I can tell you what will happen...... The species will end. That is a fact. (Or maybe that's what some people want.) Hmm

Maybe we should instantly neuter every single puppy too, even the pedigree ones. Why not? It's OK to do it to all the cats! So why not do all the dogs too? Let that species die out too. I'm sure a bunch of dog lovers will come along soon, and say 'but dogs don't wander freely like cats do' and that is partly true. I say 'partly' because I see LOADS of dog owners, with their dog off its lead, wandering about, sniffing around other dogs, jumping up people, knocking over children, pissing up lamp-posts, shitting on the footpath, and wandering off away from its owner and yep 'shagging' other dogs...

There is also the fact that 1000s and 1000s of dogs are abandoned every year, and end up stuck in a dogs home, and eventually euthanised because nobody wants them. So the same strict neutering 'rule' should also apply to dogs!

As I said, I was happy to neuter my cats, and am not totally against it, but people don't seem happy to admit that if every cat was neutered, the species would end. And it would! Are people not acknowledging this because it suits them not to admit it's true?

I also disagree with the poster saying pet ownership should end one day, along with circuses and zoos. A cat or dog in a family home will no WAY have the same life as a circus or zoo animal. That is a daft comparison.

LittleDandelionClock · 06/11/2021 15:32

And as I said, I was happy to have mine neutered, before I get slaughtered!

LittleDandelionClock · 06/11/2021 15:33

I was just making the point that if we neuter ALL the cats, the species will end. And it will!

Sammy900 · 06/11/2021 15:33

WonderfulYou

Everyone that has a pet - is for their own benefit ...what another strange thing to say.

OP posts:
EvenRosesHaveThorns · 06/11/2021 15:34

[quote LittleDandelionClock]@EvenRosesHaveThorns

What a nasty post.

Read the full thread. The OP has had her cat done.[/quote]
Bit rich of you telling me to read the full thread since OP is planning to breed from her female cat since it's 'natural'

ineedsun · 06/11/2021 15:36

Do you always think so deeply about everything? The general advice / plea from rescue places (which you’ve clearly been told many times now) is it’s absolutely the right thing to do to get your cat castrated. It stops a world and generations potentially of pain down the line.

Stop overthinking it and just do it.

WonderfulYou · 06/11/2021 15:37

Everyone that has a pet - is for their own benefit ...what another strange thing to say.

We don’t all make them have babies though do we?

You’re making your cat have a litter simply for your own benefit whether that’s financial gain or simply because you think it will be fun.

WonderfulYou · 06/11/2021 15:38

@LittleDandelionClock the OP hasn’t had her female cat done as she wants her to have a litter of kittens.

Sammy900 · 06/11/2021 15:42

LittleDandelionClock

Thank you for your input I really appreciate someone taking the discussion seriously and pondering on the ethics - this is exactly what I wanted from the thread. There is a massive majority here that seem to be very rigid in their thinking - that neutering is absolutely the only decision to be made full stop!

I'm glad I'm not the only one that this concept rests uneasy with - there are lots of flaws to it and contradictions too as you have pointed some out.

To the posters that have took the time to say their genuine experiences against also are much appreciated.

Believe me, I'm not the troll here...I'm not being abusive - can we not behave like adults and have a healthy debate?

OP posts:
Sammy900 · 06/11/2021 15:48

WonderfulYou

Never mentioned financial gain...you are missing the point I'm afraid. Of course I'd find it fun having some kittens, I'd love it. That's not the issue...

I'll repeat - the issue I have is...it is my RIGHT to intervene and prevent my cat from being able to reproduce -

I'm discussing it now as I am undecided on what the right thing to do is. After I got my male cat neutered I felt awful about it and am now questioning why that is....prior to making the decision to get my girl cat done

You're making out that I have some sort of wicked evil plot

OP posts:
EvenRosesHaveThorns · 06/11/2021 15:51

It is not a 'right' - it is a duty, responsibility, it is the unwritten covenant you sign up to when becoming a pet owner.

WonderfulYou · 06/11/2021 15:51

I'll repeat - the issue I have is...it is my RIGHT to intervene and prevent my cat from being able to reproduce

But you said you’ll only let her have one litter.
So that means you’re going to have to intervene in the future.

How do you plan to intervene with this if not by neutering her?
And why do you feel guilty intervening now but have no issue with it after she’s had one litter?

Dillidilly · 06/11/2021 15:53

@Sammy900 have you actually talked to your vet about this and asked, and then listened to, their advice?

user1471538283 · 06/11/2021 15:53

Honestly you've been a responsible pet owner. All cats should be neutered. We have so many unwanted cats and kittens.

Ours are both neutered. Our DBoycat has the best life. He doesn't fight or constantly chase around for females. He is calm and enjoys his life. DGirlcat gets sick of the toms attention. When males fight it is horrendous.

Unneutered toms are tormented as they are constantly looking for and fighting for females. It must be a miserable life.

Brusca · 06/11/2021 15:57

As a cat owner you/we intervene all the time. By preventing parasites, getting medical treatment, even providing food and water and comfort.

The 'it's natural' argument is bollocks. The moment you/we choose to take a domesticated cat into our homes we commit to their welfare. All decisions should be made based on what's best for the cat. There are no good reasons, no good welfare reasons at all, to leave a cat 'intact'.

Sammy900 · 06/11/2021 16:02

WonderfulYou

Because then she would have had a litter of babies...which is what (if of course she did get pregnant) would naturally occur had I not intervened. I would then step in to prevent it getting out of hand.

What are your thoughts on animal/ pet breeders out of interest?

I feel like we are going around in circles!

Anyone else got a different slant on the ethics of it? (no more personal attacks please) lets chat about it objectively - say I've decided to opt to get her spayed if that helps clear the red mist

OP posts:
BackBackBack · 06/11/2021 16:03

@Sammy900

WonderfulYou

Never mentioned financial gain...you are missing the point I'm afraid. Of course I'd find it fun having some kittens, I'd love it. That's not the issue...

I'll repeat - the issue I have is...it is my RIGHT to intervene and prevent my cat from being able to reproduce -

I'm discussing it now as I am undecided on what the right thing to do is. After I got my male cat neutered I felt awful about it and am now questioning why that is....prior to making the decision to get my girl cat done

You're making out that I have some sort of wicked evil plot

Let's follow your argument down a logical route -

Is it your right to force your cat to live in a house, rather than roam and live in the wild?

Is it your right to vaccinate and microchip your cat?

Is it your right to force your cat to go through veterinary treatment if they are ill or sick - because they wouldn't have this in the wild?

Is it your right to stop your cat from eating next door's hamster, because they are only following their instincts?

If you are genuinely so conflicted about the ethics of neutering, then I am quite surprised that you are comfortable with pet ownership at all - given that the whole premise of having a pet means that you are in control of that animal.

VickyEadieofThigh · 06/11/2021 16:05

I used to live in Greece, where the prevailing view out of the cities was that animals like dogs and cats shouldn't be neutered because that would be "against God's will".

As a result, there were strays everywhere and poison was frequently put down - bizarrely, this wasn't "against God's will" - which resulted in the horrific deaths of not just the strays but also some people's beloved pets and a lot of wildlife. The rest of the strays were either shot or starved to death.

As others have said, contributing to the already too-large pool of cats (or dogs, for anyone else thinking they shouldn't get their dogs neutered) is contributing to cruelty.

Sammy900 · 06/11/2021 16:06

user1471538283

Thank you yes I did think actually the alternative must be frustrating for them. Good point.

OP posts:
NataliaSerene · 06/11/2021 16:06

Yes, we intervene with nature in order to do what is best for our cats and the cat population. Spaying and neutering is what is best for them individually and as a species. They are domesticated, not wild animals anymore. And that was at least somewhat by their own choice as a species.

Sammy900 · 06/11/2021 16:08

@Brusca

As a cat owner you/we intervene all the time. By preventing parasites, getting medical treatment, even providing food and water and comfort.

The 'it's natural' argument is bollocks. The moment you/we choose to take a domesticated cat into our homes we commit to their welfare. All decisions should be made based on what's best for the cat. There are no good reasons, no good welfare reasons at all, to leave a cat 'intact'.

I've already addressed how I feel about this many times up thread
OP posts: