Feeling guilty for getting my cat neutered

[Sammy900]

Hey

Just wondering what other peoples views are and if I'm overthinking it or being unreasonable? I just want different opinions, experiences really so I can weigh up both sides....

Today our handsome boy cat went to the vets and was neutered and I've never felt so ethically uneasy and awful about making a decision for a pet. I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce :(

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, he will be less likely to get into fights and be exposed to other illnesses from that, he won't spray around the house. We have two cats a boy and girl and they are brother and sister so it would be a whole load of wrongness later on ....

I just feel so uncomfortable about it, so much that I don't want anymore male pets now that I have to face this decision for. I love my pets and I suppose in some ways, further down the line of the argument it's unfair/restrictive to prevent anything from living a wild and free life.

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....any thoughts or experiences of a similar vein ? un-neutered pets that were a nightmare?

What does everyone else think?

My question/dilemma is should I intervene and prevent my cat from going on to naturally develop a drive to reproduce (if enabled to she will want to go out and mate due to her natural cat urge to do so of her own accord - nothing to do with me)...and then eventually to have kittens. Or should I actively intervene and "force" her not to have that life option

Ok so you want her to live as natural life as possible?
So are you happy for her to have 3/4 litters every year for the next couple of years and die at a much younger age?

What about other things such as worming, de-fleaing, feeding etc - will you be doing these things or get her to hunt for her own food as that’s more natural?

VickyEadieofThigh

Yes sorry new comers - through the course of the thread the debate has mainly focused on my girl cat and whether or not to get her spayed.... so it's turned on to that now!

I have already had my male cat neutered and that made me feel really uneasy and has made me question my right to make that decision. My girl cat is not yet done.

You have come into ownership of those cats, you are responsible for making sure all their needs are met. You also have the right to intervene to make medical decisions if it is in their best interests. We take them to the vet for vaccines, worming meds and check ups etc and we do those things to minimise the risks to them - even though many cats have survived without ever seeing a vet. Intervening to prevent pregnancy is just another decision to make to reduce the risks to them and any offspring.

WonderfulYou

If you have a pet it's a mixture of both isn't it...you want to do what's best for them...so yeah all the health precautions, worming, fleaing, vaccines, buy it nice food, shelter, warmth, fuss, etc

Let it go outdoors and hunt things, and bring gifts back - it's cat behaviour it's what they do, be territorial, confront other threats, etc

Animals mate and have a natural drive to do so, like they hunt for things or fight or eat/drink - as a pet owner should I take that aspect away? and change that part of their life and behaviour forever and ultimately objectify them -

like I said before it's a bigger decision than which cat food to buy, hence the thread on it as it's on my mind

StrapOnSallyChasedMeDownTheAli

O.k I get that, would you agree that it's ok for breeders ....but not ok to enable the animals to follow their natural urges and develop as they would have without intervention? Just curious

@Sammy900

Nice to hear happy endings for your rescue cats/kittens - thanks for sharing

I wouldn't ever want to be adding to the problem of neglected/abandoned abused cats or cruelly forcing a mother cat to part from her babies before they are old enough, ready and would provide the best care that I can....what happens in my house can be somewhat under my control and I could help by enforcing limitations...

What I can't do though is ensure that other people can provide the same care...and it's not just one litter its all the others that come from other people....I can't control that no...but then neither can people who formally breed pets - they don't know fully that they are going to all be going to good homes...what if they are just used to breed and breed and make money and have an awful time :(

Where does the responsibility lie there

The responsibility lies with the breeder. Even the person I got my current dog from, who had an accidental litter of crossbreeds, gave us the third degree before even allowing us to visit the pups and that has been the same with every dog i have had...you join a waiting list, you get the third degree, and if you meet the breeder's standard, you are allowed to buy a pup. I wouldn't get a pet animal from anybody who breeds just to sell. Its a sad fact that humans have got the idea that if you have money you can get anthing immediately and other humans are pandering to this by farming pets. If you farm you are responsible, if you pass on an animal to someone who may farm, you as the breeder are responsible.

@Sammy900

WonderfulYou

If you have a pet it's a mixture of both isn't it...you want to do what's best for them...so yeah all the health precautions, worming, fleaing, vaccines, buy it nice food, shelter, warmth, fuss, etc

Let it go outdoors and hunt things, and bring gifts back - it's cat behaviour it's what they do, be territorial, confront other threats, etc

Animals mate and have a natural drive to do so, like they hunt for things or fight or eat/drink - as a pet owner should I take that aspect away? and change that part of their life and behaviour forever and ultimately objectify them -

like I said before it's a bigger decision than which cat food to buy, hence the thread on it as it's on my mind

so you will say oh that's natural if your cat is hit by a car and killed or worse badly injured but not killed? I have to put up with your cats in my garden because you think its natural?

I felt bad about it too but if we hadn't had the cat neutered then he would have had to be an indoor cat which he would hate.

Neutering, sadly, is the price he had to pay for the right to roam. TBH he doesn't seem much bothered! I'm sure he'd agree it was worth it.

I didn’t bother reading past the first paragraph! That last sentence is ridiculous. Of course you've done the right stop being so utterly stupid

@Nanny0gg

Most dogs/cats have usually had enough by the time their 'babies' are taken from them. The only way they get any peace!

And I have heard of instances in controlled pregnancy/birth where it's gone horribly wrong, even with veterinary intervention and the litter and or mother has died.

Nature can be cruel. There's nothing wrong with us intervening responsibly

Absolutely. I've just been looking after a young female cat in a shelter - she had five kittens, and was a great mum, but but always very keen to have a break from them, and when I put her back in with them I felt quite guilty when she gave me the "why do I have to share with these tiny loonies?" look. She's enjoying being an only cat in a devoted home now!

Quite frankly i question wether you should be responsible for any animal at all

OP, I have a cat called Micky that I got unspayed from the second owner when she (the cat) was 5 years old.
The first owners (mother and brother of second owners boyfriend) locked Micky into a tiny carrier whenever she was in heat where she had to stay until she was in heat no more. She had to sit in her pee and shit and suffers from anxiety and OCD since then.
The second owner thought that Micky should have one litter. The kittens were stillborn and Micky‘s OCD went out of control.
When Micky moved in with me, I had her spayed straight away. Her OCD is under control and Micky is a wonderful and very playful cat. It is said that neutered and spayed cats are like eternal kittens and Micky is now a bit like that. I think it is both the calm home and the spaying that helped Micky get her anxiety and OCD under control.

I'm a Veterinary Nurse and I've seen these cats first hand that come in without being neutered early on in life.

Multiple fights and horrible wounds.
FIV or FeLV positive.
Aggressive personalities.
Straying from home and not coming back.
Awful smell all the time.
Spraying urine around the house.
Fathering multiple litters of kittens which will probably become feral and have miserable lives.
Short life span.

Trust me, you and your cat aren't missing out on anything. Neutering is the best thing you can do for him.

godmum56 so you think all cats should be indoor pets?
It makes me laugh how cats always love a hater ...it's almost like they are going in your garden on purpose to annoy you! How selfish of them roaming the land not understanding about material possession and garden thresholds haha

If you have a pet it's a mixture of both isn't it...you want to do what's best for them...so yeah all the health precautions, worming, fleaing, vaccines, buy it nice food, shelter, warmth, fuss, etc

Yes you do want to do what’s best for them.
Before I got a cat I took into consideration that it would have to be neutered or have kittens.

The neutering choice is an unnatural operation which in rare cases can cause illness or death.
The non-neutering choice is more natural but it would mean my cat roaming more which increases risk of getting hit by cars, being mated and having fights with other cats, the mating which can often cause injuries, then the pregnancy and then the birth itself, both of which can cause illness and death. Then it’s issue of the kittens and find them good homes etc.
This would happen at least 3x a year.
If she has 5 kittens each litter and lives until 5 years old that’s 75 kittens.
Therefore the choice is a no brainier.

Did you not think about this before getting the cat?
If I felt that I couldn’t go through with neutering then I’d just not get the pet.

And please get your female cat spayed. Unspayed female cats and dogs end up with pyometras (infected uterus) and aggressive mammary tumors which almost certainly cause death.

Cats and dogs do not need to breed at all. They are not like humans in how they feel about their offspring.

So hang on op, you said about letting her have one litter before spaying, why is that so much ‘better’ (to you) than spaying before that ‘one litter’. If you’re going to make that same choice anyway, then other than all the negatives people have told you- what benefit is there to the cat, if you’re going to spay her anyway?

WonderfulYou My other half arranged to get them as a surprise for the family. He knew I would love to have two cats but that was a conversation we had many months before and didn't go into details back then.

If you truely love pets,you neuter a tom cat.would you like your cat to mate with lots of female cats and hundreds of kittens been born( and subsequently killed).As a responsible cat(or dog) owner you neuter/spay your pet.do you think only female cats should be spayed?your cat hasnt got a clue in regards to his "malehood".if he is not neutered,he will just want to reproduce as an instinct,not because he enjoys shagging!!!

@WhatWouldKalindaDo

And please get your female cat spayed. Unspayed female cats and dogs end up with pyometras (infected uterus) and aggressive mammary tumors which almost certainly cause death.

Cats and dogs do not need to breed at all. They are not like humans in how they feel about their offspring.

You are so very right.could not agree more.

Excited101

To enable her to follow her natural drive and have one litter but put restrictions in so I'm not adding to the ethical dilemma of multiple litters and overpopulation - sort of meeting half way

Still undecided though

Posters calling me names/ saying I'm not fit to be a pet owner:

Nasty comments are not appreciated and not helpful at all - please bog off to another thread

you wouldn't send a cat to have its ears amputated to prevent future fights and infections it might or might not get - for example

If the likelihood was that your cat was going to have its life expectancy considerably shortened if it's ears were kept intact, then yes of course it's ears should be amputated.

I think you have to recognise that as humans we have the ability to think about the bigger picture and the intellectual ability to act to ensure our pets have a long and healthy life. Neutering is by far the best thing that ensures this.

If you want your cats to live as nature intended their lives will be short and their death painful.

Hi OP, I have done some volunteering to promote neutering with the Cats Protection Society.

You have ABSOLUTELY done the correct thing, give yourself a pat on the back!

I visited communities with hoarders of stray cats, we trapped, neutered and returned them.

I saw horrible things like 8 kittens having to be put to sleep because they had become infected with feline leukaemia, and so many other sick homeless cats. There was no need for these cats to have been born and to live a life like that. And female cats just in a constant cycle of pregnancy, a lot of the time the kittens wouldn’t even make it. It was so sad 😞

Prattypatel

He's neutered it was done yesterday.

My issue is I'm questioning if I've done the right thing...I also have a girl cat that hasn't been spayed yet.

To enable her to follow her natural drive and have one litter but put restrictions in so I'm not adding to the ethical dilemma of multiple litters and overpopulation - sort of meeting half way

Hang on.
So you don’t want to get your cat neutered because it’s unnatural yet you’re only planning to have 1 litter?

That is in itself unnatural and what ever you do to stop her having future litters will also be unnatural.

So you not wanting to get her neutered because it’s unnatural is absolute BS.

Why not just admit that actually it’s nothing to do with being natural/unnatural but you actually just want to have kittens for your own benefit.