AIBU to expect our Nanny to do more...?

[squeakstick]

I have recently returned to work from maternity leave and have hired a nanny two days a week to look after our son. We are about 2 months in to her employment. My logic for choosing a nanny over nursery is that I can still see him on my breaks as I work from home, and also I hoped she would help around the house a bit too. I did say this in the interview and she was fine with light chores but that was months ago.

The nanny is really good with our son which is the most important thing. However she literally does nothing else. She doesn't wash up his lunch things or dinner things. She doesn't prepare meals, I have to get it all ready. At the moment our son naps for about 2 hours in the day and she literally just sits on the sofa and scrolls through her phone for the whole time.

I just wanted other opinions on if IABU to expect more? Perhaps it is normal to just care for the child and do nothing else. I think it is partly my fault for not setting expectations as I did say to her "make sure you have a break when he naps" and now the Britishness in me is too awkward to bring it up.

If I was employed in any role, I would take an hour lunch break, but would proactively find jobs outside of this time to help my employer out and earn my hourly rate. I find confrontation really difficult, but would really like it if she took an hour break, but then after that used the time to wash up his lunch things / tidy his toys away / and potentially even run the hoover round / hang the washing out etc for the rest of the time he naps.

So...AIBU to expect that our nanny should do more to help around the house?

You need to sit down and have a constructive conversation - perhaps frame it as review/feedback for the first 2 ways and have it as a 2-way conversation for her to give you feedback etc as well.

But you need to address it quickly or it will fester. I speak from experience - I don't like "confrontation" and my nanny agreed to the list of duties before I offered the job, said she had no issues with the contract and would sign on her first day.

Well, I left the contract for her and came home to find it covered in comments/things she didn't like/wouldn't do - worse still was she was very passive aggressive about it and have shoved it into a drawer for me to find, didn't want to have the discussion with me.

I was outraged but didn't know how to handle it - she'd agreed the job description and the contract and was now back tracking once in situ.

She continually pushed boundaries (including over lockdown where I wanted her to work part time - remotely - for full time pay) but she was ill/her friends were being furloughed etc). In the end we gave notice.

I wished I dealt with it at the beginning though.

YANBU.this is the thing with young people nowadays.They dont have own initiative.it is common sense to me, washing up,tidying,hoovering is part of a nanny job.Some young people use their brain,others you literally have to tell them everyday,the jobs they need to do.
I would go through the contract again with her.Make very clear what work you expect to be done.Give her a month and if she still just scrolls through FB instead of work, ,sack her.

Shows what you know because hoovering generally IS NOT part of a nanny job, @Andwander. And stop with the ageism. I’m sure you’d find it offensive the other way around.

Old people these days are so rude and judgmental

Initiative has fuck all to do with age.

@WheelieBinPrincess

Shows what you know because hoovering generally IS NOT part of a nanny job, *@Andwander*. And stop with the ageism. I’m sure you’d find it offensive the other way around.

Old people these days are so rude and judgmental

Initiative has fuck all to do with age.

How interesting,you assume I am old.

Interesting you assume the nanny was young- that was my point.

@AtillatheHun

Wow. What you’ve described is definitely not a ‘promotion’ from a nursery. The ‘£5 extra’ wouldn’t be worth it if the person you work for views their nannies like you do.

@WheelieBinPrincess

Interesting you assume the nanny was young- that was my point.

Of course not all young people have a "lazy" attitude towards work.And you might be right,it was maybe a 60 year old,who was swiping for 2 hours on a dating app.The likelyhood of it being the latter is smaller.

Is that right? I interviewed a lot of nursery staff (not room leaders yet) who definitely considered nannying a promotion and there’s no getting around the fact that it should pay a lot more. I am however totally unclear on your objection to treating a nanny like a professional employee. How do you think that employer / employee relationship should run? @Tillsforthrills?

@AtillatheHun

She’s used to working in a nursery; this is a new role and you need to treat her like an employee in the workplace who has just been promoted. I’ve hired nannies from nursery jobs before and it’s very much a case of showing them exactly what the extra £5/hour requires. Be clear in granular detail what you expect and maybe even amend the contract. Once you’ve done that, review it after a month. Let her know as well that staring at a phone while she’s on duty, let alone for 2 hours straight, is not permitted. It’s a job not a favour she’s doing you

I don’t have any issue with treating nannies as ‘professionals’ as you say.

So you let nannies know this is a promotion and you’ve needed to show them exactly how they need to earn that ‘extra £5’. And they’re not permitted to ‘stare at their phone’ while ‘on duty’. The nanny in question was on her break.

Your tone speaks volumes about how you view them.

An honest conversation is needed by the OP with the nanny about her expectations that the nanny can’t have a break or can, how long for and that cleaning duties are required.

The baby in question was not in a break - a 2 hour nap by her charge doesn’t equal break time for two hours. A professional nanny would use that time to carry out her contracted nursery duties, as all the other nannies and employers in this thread have said.

*nanny! The baby was of course on a break while napping

Like I say I am not a stickler for the rules / set lunch breaks and don't expect her to do all of that. I am very easy going.

You sound quite confusing to work for. You've agreed things in the contract that you don't follow up, but you are clearly not happy with her. So you need to talk to her.

Lunch, cleaning up after lunch and tidying as she goes yes. Hoovering and washing ? No. She's a childcare professional, not a maid

@LennyMurdoch

What's in the contract?

This! With knobs on. OP, do you have a contract? If not, get one properly drawn up now.

I've had issues with nannies in the past taking the piss because I was young and far too 'nice'. Be polite but firm and tell her to adhere to the contract. If there isn't one, remind her of your original expectations and that you could reconsider her position, then get one drawn up.

@AtillatheHun

The baby in question was not in a break - a 2 hour nap by her charge doesn’t equal break time for two hours. A professional nanny would use that time to carry out her contracted nursery duties, as all the other nannies and employers in this thread have said.

That depends

My last mb made it very clear that when baby then toddler napped that was my time

Obv any duties I did but I did sit down. Mn. Fb. Have lunch etc