To think he needs to pay for 7 weeks here?

[TeamSpike]

Exh pays maintenance for Dd monthly. He calculated it and we don't go through csa. He's got a new job where his payday has changed from 10th to 30th of the month. So he paid me last on 10th Oct and has said he doesn't need to pay now until 30th Nov. So I have asked whether he will be paying 7 weeks worth as that's how long it is between payment dates. He says he doesn't have to because its still a monthly payment it's just on a different date.
AIBU to think he does need to pay the 7 weeks worth?

Does he pay in advance or in arrears, or a bit of both?

ie does he pay for November on 1st November, or on 30th November.
Does he have a month in hand?

You must know he's talking out of his arse. Sort out a legitimate agreement with the CSA. Of course he has to support his child

Unless he's got a period of unemployment between one job and the other then YANBU. He's either really thick, or really facetious and obtuse. Neither are attractive qualities.

@MrsFin

Does he pay in advance or in arrears, or a bit of both?

ie does he pay for November on 1st November, or on 30th November.
Does he have a month in hand?

I don't actually know! Bit of a backstory. He doesn't see Dd at all because he was arrested for downloading indecent images of children when Dd was 3 months old. When Dd was about 3 he contacted me and said he wanted to pay his way so we set up the monthly payment for the day he got paid and that's how its been. Dd is 6 now

So the child isn't going to eat for seven weeks then?

Go to CMS and sort it out via them, it'll be worth it to avoid hassle like this in future.

Of course you're right.

I've ways been worried that if I go through CMS then he will ask for contact with her. She doesn't know he exists. I don't want him anywhere near her tbh. This just seemed like the best way. I've told him he's not having contact with her and he's agreed but I'm worries if it goes through official channels he will try and get access

If you’ve worked out 52 weeks payment, and he pays 1/12 of that each month then he’s right, it’s inconvenient for you but at the end of the year you’ll have the right amount.
If it’s some other arrangement, like a weekly amount he pays you and for example he pays on the 10th Nov to cover the weeks between 11th Oct to 10th November then you’re right and he should pay for the whole 7 weeks.

his payday has changed from 10th to 30th of the month
So did the last payment he made on 10th cover the month from that date, and would therefore overlap with any payment made on 30th? In which case he's right. The payment made on 30th should cover you until the 9th of the next month.
So if he pays on 30th you're actually being double paid for 9 days.
He should pay on 10th as normal, then make a 20 day payment on 30th, then monthly payments as usual from the next 30th.

I'd personally leave it if you can afford to so that he doesn't start getting annoyed and looking at contact possibilities.

Fair? No but it's what I'd do.

Yes I think if I was you to avoid hassle and the possibility of him wanting contact I’d leave it be, it’s a small price to pay.

I think he's actually in the right here. He's paying once a month on his payday. He isn't going to miss any months.

Yes there will be a cash-flow gap because he's now paying three weeks later, but on average over the long term it doesn't mean he's going to pay any less in total.

@MrsFin

his payday has changed from 10th to 30th of the month So did the last payment he made on 10th cover the month from that date, and would therefore overlap with any payment made on 30th? In which case he's right. The payment made on 30th should cover you until the 9th of the next month. So if he pays on 30th you're actually being double paid for 9 days. He should pay on 10th as normal, then make a 20 day payment on 30th, then monthly payments as usual from the next 30th.

That's what I said to him. That he should pay the monthly amount on the 10th then 3 weeks on the 30th and so on. He worked it out in the beginning so I just accepted it tbh. I don't know how much he earns so I can't work it out. I don't know if he did it divided by 12 or what

I'm happy to be told AIBU I just want to make sure. I can't afford it tbh because the payment goes towards household bills so I am actually in the shit now but if I'm wrong then I'll have to accept it

Sorry I think you're wrong. He is still paying monthly just on a different date - yes that means initially there will be a bigger gap between payments but it doesn't mean he owes you more- its still monthly?? I think YABU unless you are so on the breadline that you couldn't cope with those extra weeks in the mean time without some money off him but I think thats unlikely.

@TeamSpike

I'm happy to be told AIBU I just want to make sure. I can't afford it tbh because the payment goes towards household bills so I am actually in the shit now but if I'm wrong then I'll have to accept it

If you really can't afford it then maybe discuss it further with him and say just for this month can he give you some before 30th and the rest on 30th etc.

Given the situation, I would leave it.

Look at this way, total up how much he pays over 12 calendar months. If he makes a standard payment three weeks later, this total won't change, if he pays three weeks worth extra because of the change of date, he will have paid in total three weeks worth more than the total intended amount.

@TeamSpike

I've ways been worried that if I go through CMS then he will ask for contact with her. She doesn't know he exists. I don't want him anywhere near her tbh. This just seemed like the best way. I've told him he's not having contact with her and he's agreed but I'm worries if it goes through official channels he will try and get access

Was he charged for possession of indecent images? If so, there are usually strict rules around contact and he might not be able to get contact even if he asks. From what I remember, contact can be supervised if the other parent consents to it and the child is not allowed to be left alone or receive intimate care. Even in cases where the other parent consents, social services would usually do a thorough risk assessment and contact isn't guaranteed. It would be worth posting on frg.org.uk for proper advice on the likelihood of him being granted contact.

Yes he was charged and received a suspended sentence. I know the conditions were supervised contact but I don't know if that's still the same after the sentence has finished.

I'll have a Google about payments as well and see what it says. Thank you everyone

If he’s on the sex offenders register then he’s unlikely to get access other than supervised.

I wouldn't push for the 7 weeks, it’s probably not worth the backlash.

Somethings just aren't worth it looking at the whole picture I would leave it .

@TeamSpike

I've ways been worried that if I go through CMS then he will ask for contact with her. She doesn't know he exists. I don't want him anywhere near her tbh. This just seemed like the best way. I've told him he's not having contact with her and he's agreed but I'm worries if it goes through official channels he will try and get access

In this case, I'd leave it. You're not unreasonable at all, just... is it worth it?

I think YABU.
He paid on 10th September for September. He paid on 10th October for October. He’ll pay on 30th November for November. Same amount, different date. It’s a pain that you have to wait 3 weeks longer than usual, bit the overall amount is the same.