Is this a bit discriminatory or am I being silly?

[WheelieBinPrincess]

This is such a first world problem, if I sound like a twat I wholeheartedly apologise in advance. I probably will sound like a twat but there’s the disclaimer. I know there are people in the world without electricity, let alone access to wanky art installations.

Got tickets to this interactive Van Gough exhibition thing in London on Friday. I don’t know what it involves, big starry night inspired instillations I guess, whatever. Anyway I booked two tickets when I was pregnant and then realised I’d have an eight week old baby when it came around, but thought oh that’ll be nice I’ll take him along, no problems. Luckily he actually loves being out and about and only kicks off when we are home to be honest so no drama there.

Anyway we are meeting a family friend to go to this exhibition on Friday, I live the other side of London but directly after this thing the baby and I are getting on a train to travel to another part of the country to see my parents. So I won’t be using the carrier (baby actually hates that anyway)

So I was just reading the FAQ’s. It says while the event is suitable for children of all ages, there’s no changing family available, and while it is accessible for wheelchairs, it is not accessible for prams and they won’t be permitted.

Which basically would mean we can’t fucking go. I honestly am not someone who hangs around and lingers looking at art for ages either so no changing facilities isn’t really a huge deal, it’s the fact that I can’t even go in with the baby.

I have emailed them but they just quoted the FAQ at me. I asked about a cloakroom (not to leave the baby in, I’ll carry him) but they’ve just not got back to me and I don’t think they have one, going by the FAQs.

Now I don’t want to spark a bit debate about wheelchairs vs pushchairs. I realise it’s entirely my choice to not only have a child but to push a buggy around and a disabled person does not have the same choices about using a wheelchair. For what it’s worth I always get off the bus for a wheelchair user, and I’m not a dick about it.

The event is in a huge space as well, I’m not saying I’d think it was okay to push the buggy around the John Soane’s. But if a space is accessible to a wheelchair am I right in thinking it’s also accessible for a buggy?! And if so, why can’t I take my buggy in there? Is it like a way of saying babies will ruin the ambiance? But surely small children in general would be capable of doing that?

Also when I booked the tickets it was over if those ‘location revealed at a later date’ hyped up wanky things so I had no way of checking.

I guess I’ll just have to push for a refund but it just seems a bit shit!

It's annoying sure. Not really anything you can do though. Unless you rock up with the buggy with your carrier as well and see if they can't just find a space to store the buggy. Risky.

I think I would turn up. Chances are staff on the day won’t want to challenge you. If you feel brave enough? It’s a risk but you can always ask for a refund then and there and use the money for a nice coffee somewhere if it doesn’t pan out.

Claim you didn’t see the FAQ.

Just remembered a time a bus driver told me to collapse the buggy or get off. For practical reasons I couldn't collapse it. It was a car seat clip on and I had bags and a toddler as well. I had to get off. Bloody annoying.

Can’t you use a sling? And if you need to change your baby, you can use the floor, use a disposable changing mat. We have done this in the toilet of a restaurant that had no changing table, it was not ideal but still manageable.

Do you have bags or luggage if you are travelling to see family afterwards? What will you do with them?

Could you leave everything, including the pram, at left luggage somewhere (train station?) and take the baby in the carrier or in your arms? I know you've said that he doesn't like the carrier but they do make getting around and doing things so much easier in general and I would be tempted to get him used to it!

It’s because they have to make allowances by law to make it wheelchair accessible. They can restrict whatever else they like I guess, seems silly though imho.

Could you leave your pram, dismantled, in a luggage storage thing at the station? Then take baby in a carrier to the exhibit and pick up the pram after.

My hunch is it’s accessible to wheelchairs (and I note it says only partially accessible), but with assistance/input from staff, like a portable ramp/staff operated lift or something, and they are unwilling to provide that assistance outside of their responsibilities to those with disabilities. Just my guess.

No, you aren’t being discriminated against, though I think given they advertise as suitable for all ages and family friendly they should state more prominently they can’t accommodate prams. You should definitely get a refund.

@SummerHouse yeah I know the feeling! This is a bugaboo so a complete pain in the arse, I’d rather walk home in the rain anyway than try and collapse the bastard thing.

Would be so disappointing for my friend to get turned away as it was a present for her- but she’d have to go in on her own. I think it was about £23 a ticket so would definitely buy a nice coffee while we wait!

@Suspiciousmind20

Claim you didn’t see the FAQ.

She emailed them and they quoted the FAQ back to her. Onus back on her I guess I'd probably just turn up and play it from there

Of course it’s not discriminatory.

Leave the pram somewhere and use a sling while at the exhibition.

Unfortunately they are not breaking any rules as they are happy to admit children and there is no legal requirement for them to have to provide capacity for pushchairs. Having said that I do agree it's a bit shite, especially as I think they are missing a market demographic as can imagine quite a few mums and small babies would do this type of event during the day.

I would as pp's have said rock up and feign ignorance- the staff may challenge about the pushchair so I would have the baby ready in the carrier, push the buggy at them say "no problem, just pop it in the buggy park" and walk away. They'll either stash it somewhere or let you take it around with you.

That's annoying, particularly that you couldn't check what the venue was like before booking.
Do you have a partner etc who could come and push the baby around outside in the pushchair for a bit/ look after the buggy while you take the sling in?

We are travelling light, I just have the baby’s bag and a backpack for me but the left luggage at the station is an idea. We have a baby Bjorn carrier but honestly, until he can face forwards in it I think it’ll just make him scream, we’ve tried. So I’d probably have to carry him in my arms all the way to shoreditch and around the exhibition 😂

It does say wheelchairs can’t access the top floor actually. But that obviously doesn’t affect us as we’d take that bit in turns.

I think the exhibition has already been on for a bit so I can’t imagine it’s a problem the staff haven’t encountered, especially with families at weekends.

@Yogawankonobi

Of course it’s not discriminatory.

Leave the pram somewhere and use a sling while at the exhibition.

Good advice.

A person can leave a buggy and wander off, blocking the way for others. Also, buggies vary in size and some can be huge, which could cause a problem for other visitors to the exhibition. A person in a wheelchair - even if it's a bariatric one, which is larger than usual - will not create the same potential accessibility issues for other people.

OP, is it the one on Commercial Street? The reason for asking is it is not wheelchair accessible but I have seen pushchairs. There are a lot of stairs and no lift.

When you go in you go down a small flight of stairs then up a long flight in to the first part of the gallery. Then you go down a steep flight of stairs to the interactive elements. Then down another shallow flight to the big room with the projected display.

A light weight stroller with two of you could do the stairs. As pp suggested a stroller could be stored and you could use a sling.

I mean I don’t think I can just abandon the pram ‘somewhere’ in the middle of shoreditch

I think you’re overthinking. It’s billed as family friendly and they’re quoting the FAQs about the pram, presumably they mean that you can’t get around the whole thing i.e. the top floor, so therefore it’s not accessible. If it were me I’d just turn up with baby in the pram and not think twice.

I’ve been to this exhibition. It’s crowded. Many people sit on the floor to “immerse themselves” in the experience. If everyone brought their pram, nobody would be able to move. I saw a couple having an argument with staff about their pram in the entrance lobby. They weren’t being allowed in with it. They’re very unlikely to let you take it in for this reason.

If you do decide go there are two interactive elements, I recommend one person does the colouring in with baby whilst the other does the VR and then swap.

@Alpinechalet it is commercial street!! I was under the impression it was a huge airy space… how on earth do people in wheelchairs manage then as it is very obviously not accessible!!

I think we’ll potentially just go round separately and compare notes.

@Alpinechalet thank you