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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this a bit discriminatory or am I being silly?

109 replies

WheelieBinPrincess · 02/11/2021 14:06

This is such a first world problem, if I sound like a twat I wholeheartedly apologise in advance. I probably will sound like a twat but there’s the disclaimer. I know there are people in the world without electricity, let alone access to wanky art installations.

Got tickets to this interactive Van Gough exhibition thing in London on Friday. I don’t know what it involves, big starry night inspired instillations I guess, whatever. Anyway I booked two tickets when I was pregnant and then realised I’d have an eight week old baby when it came around, but thought oh that’ll be nice I’ll take him along, no problems. Luckily he actually loves being out and about and only kicks off when we are home to be honest so no drama there.

Anyway we are meeting a family friend to go to this exhibition on Friday, I live the other side of London but directly after this thing the baby and I are getting on a train to travel to another part of the country to see my parents. So I won’t be using the carrier (baby actually hates that anyway)

So I was just reading the FAQ’s. It says while the event is suitable for children of all ages, there’s no changing family available, and while it is accessible for wheelchairs, it is not accessible for prams and they won’t be permitted.

Which basically would mean we can’t fucking go. I honestly am not someone who hangs around and lingers looking at art for ages either so no changing facilities isn’t really a huge deal, it’s the fact that I can’t even go in with the baby.

I have emailed them but they just quoted the FAQ at me. I asked about a cloakroom (not to leave the baby in, I’ll carry him) but they’ve just not got back to me and I don’t think they have one, going by the FAQs.

Now I don’t want to spark a bit debate about wheelchairs vs pushchairs. I realise it’s entirely my choice to not only have a child but to push a buggy around and a disabled person does not have the same choices about using a wheelchair. For what it’s worth I always get off the bus for a wheelchair user, and I’m not a dick about it.

The event is in a huge space as well, I’m not saying I’d think it was okay to push the buggy around the John Soane’s. But if a space is accessible to a wheelchair am I right in thinking it’s also accessible for a buggy?! And if so, why can’t I take my buggy in there? Is it like a way of saying babies will ruin the ambiance? But surely small children in general would be capable of doing that?

Also when I booked the tickets it was over if those ‘location revealed at a later date’ hyped up wanky things so I had no way of checking.

I guess I’ll just have to push for a refund but it just seems a bit shit!

OP posts:
IntermittentParps · 02/11/2021 17:28

TBH it doesn't sound like you're that arsed about the show You booked tickets and risked the 'location to be revealed thing' when you 'don’t know what it involves, big starry night inspired instillations I guess, whatever.'?

Mamamovingnorth · 02/11/2021 17:47

Carriers more like the baby bjorn carrier are good for babies who hate carriers. I got the red kite one off amazon for about £20. My LO absolutes hated carriers and tolerated that (and now is fine in carriers).

I had a few instances like this. A real pain but now discrimination.

Mamamovingnorth · 02/11/2021 17:48

Red Kite Baby Embrace Carrier www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07XJYSK58/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_AR99GCE62CSAYE846S2B?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

impossible · 02/11/2021 18:06

It seems unfair if they didn't give venue until you'd bought tickets. If I were you I'd turn up and see if they can find space for the pushchair if you put baby in sling.

If not, you and friend could go in one at a time - friend first while you find a café then swap so friend sits in cafe with empty pushchair and you put baby in sling and look at show. There are plenty of child friendly cafes near Spitalfields Market so you could get together afterwards for catch up. Doesn't sound as though the show is the sort of place where you are going to chat in any case.

I know this isn't ideal but as your dc becomes a toddler you will get into the habit of taking turns with other parents as it will be the only way you can visit exhibitions etc in peace.

SisterAgatha · 03/11/2021 07:14

Just to say that when we went to the Roman Baths in Bath, they gave us slings for the two babies. I had my own but I thought that was a really nice touch.

WheelieBinPrincess · 03/11/2021 08:19

It’s great to know I can leave the buggy there safely! I will probably end up carrying him, I looked at a hip seat thing and they look great but from six months only! He’s still really tiny.

I’m absolutely not opposed to carrying him round in a sling. It’s how I thought we’d get around actually- but he just doesn’t like it, and loves his buggy. I didn’t realise the Bjorn was a bit of a love it or hate it carrier. Anyway I’m seeing some other women and their babies from my NCT group today for lunch so I’ll see what they are doing and maybe have a little try out with theirs.

OP posts:
Mymycherrypie · 03/11/2021 08:29

You may just have to carry him OP? That’s why it’s not discriminatory. You can just carry him. A person in a wheelchair doesn’t have that choice.

I’d wonder if it does have stairs, is it even really wheelchair accessible?

Alpinechalet · 03/11/2021 09:37

@Mymycherrypie

You may just have to carry him OP? That’s why it’s not discriminatory. You can just carry him. A person in a wheelchair doesn’t have that choice.

I’d wonder if it does have stairs, is it even really wheelchair accessible?

It definitely is not all wheelchair accessible, some parts are but definitely not the actual paintings.
Alpinechalet · 03/11/2021 09:40

[quote BudgeSquare]@thevassal

That's told you OP! Yabu miserable for spending your own money on something you find interesting. I hope you don't have the audacity to go out and eat while you're there, you know you could have had toast at home for free?

You evidently don't understand the point.

There is a current wave of weird touring exhibitions that have nothing to do with London or art.

It's a relevant point because pretty much all of the galleries in London are baby/child friendly.
This is because they value building ing term relationships with families who live here.

This doesn't. That's why they don't bother to provide facilities or engage with visitors' questions.[/quote]
I don’t disagree permanent gallery’s and museums have better facilities but it is unfair to say the exhibition has nothing to do with art.

I certainly learned something about painting style and the inspiration for the paintings in a different way.

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