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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this a bit discriminatory or am I being silly?

109 replies

WheelieBinPrincess · 02/11/2021 14:06

This is such a first world problem, if I sound like a twat I wholeheartedly apologise in advance. I probably will sound like a twat but there’s the disclaimer. I know there are people in the world without electricity, let alone access to wanky art installations.

Got tickets to this interactive Van Gough exhibition thing in London on Friday. I don’t know what it involves, big starry night inspired instillations I guess, whatever. Anyway I booked two tickets when I was pregnant and then realised I’d have an eight week old baby when it came around, but thought oh that’ll be nice I’ll take him along, no problems. Luckily he actually loves being out and about and only kicks off when we are home to be honest so no drama there.

Anyway we are meeting a family friend to go to this exhibition on Friday, I live the other side of London but directly after this thing the baby and I are getting on a train to travel to another part of the country to see my parents. So I won’t be using the carrier (baby actually hates that anyway)

So I was just reading the FAQ’s. It says while the event is suitable for children of all ages, there’s no changing family available, and while it is accessible for wheelchairs, it is not accessible for prams and they won’t be permitted.

Which basically would mean we can’t fucking go. I honestly am not someone who hangs around and lingers looking at art for ages either so no changing facilities isn’t really a huge deal, it’s the fact that I can’t even go in with the baby.

I have emailed them but they just quoted the FAQ at me. I asked about a cloakroom (not to leave the baby in, I’ll carry him) but they’ve just not got back to me and I don’t think they have one, going by the FAQs.

Now I don’t want to spark a bit debate about wheelchairs vs pushchairs. I realise it’s entirely my choice to not only have a child but to push a buggy around and a disabled person does not have the same choices about using a wheelchair. For what it’s worth I always get off the bus for a wheelchair user, and I’m not a dick about it.

The event is in a huge space as well, I’m not saying I’d think it was okay to push the buggy around the John Soane’s. But if a space is accessible to a wheelchair am I right in thinking it’s also accessible for a buggy?! And if so, why can’t I take my buggy in there? Is it like a way of saying babies will ruin the ambiance? But surely small children in general would be capable of doing that?

Also when I booked the tickets it was over if those ‘location revealed at a later date’ hyped up wanky things so I had no way of checking.

I guess I’ll just have to push for a refund but it just seems a bit shit!

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoing · 02/11/2021 15:39

Not discriminatory. If it were at a gallery or museum where you they have the space to park buggies of course it would be fine but they do take up room when stored.

light weight stroller and sling seems the answer.

I used to work in the area and there are lots of cafes/restaurants nearby etc where you can change a baby. It's also easy to access from Liverpool Street.

VividGemini · 02/11/2021 15:40

@FunnyInjury

It’s because they have to make allowances by law to make it wheelchair accessible. They can restrict whatever else they like I guess, seems silly though imho.
This. But if its any solace OP I doubt its actually truly wheelchair accessible!
Bluntness100 · 02/11/2021 15:44

I’m not really sure who you think is being discriminated against? Parents whose kid doesn’t like slings and they can’t carry them? The baby themselves?

CaptainFuckedUp · 02/11/2021 15:56

It won't be that it's not accessible - it's that the pushchairs become a trip hazard in darker spaces.

It's not discriminatory.

Flowers500 · 02/11/2021 15:58

Hi! Google left luggage London or something like that and find the shops and restaurants that offer this service nearby. You pay a couple of pounds online, then arrive and they’ll sticker it for you and hold it downstairs. Loads of places will do it nearby if you’re in a touristy area. Top trick for anyone in London with luggage!

thisplaceisweird · 02/11/2021 15:59

I fainted at a displayed rabbit that was entirely made up of bright red fissures and they wouldn’t let me back in or give me a refund. In my defence I was incredibly hungover.

have you ever been to the Sistine Chapel?

WheelieBinPrincess · 02/11/2021 16:00

There’s a Premier Inn nearby that does the left luggage thing! I never knew about this service at all so I’m really glad I now do. A ‘bag’ is £6 to leave all day but I’m wondering if a buggy counts as a bag?!

OP posts:
WheelieBinPrincess · 02/11/2021 16:01

@thisplaceisweird I remember that thread 😂

I have but in the absence of a hangover I held it together. That rabbit just made me feel sick.

OP posts:
itsallgoingpearshaped · 02/11/2021 16:11

Carry the baby, leave the baby with someone, or don't go. It's not hard.

Prams get in the way at these events as it's dark and busy; I've been to the original in France.

DriftingBlue · 02/11/2021 16:14

There are plenty of spaces that prams are just impractical. A baby bjorn with baby facing in is actually better because baby would probably get overwhelmed by the crowd at that age. Really though, a ring sling is incredibly handy and I highly recommend.

WheelieBinPrincess · 02/11/2021 16:21

@DriftingBlue totally get that- I wouldn’t take him to the Tower of London for example- but I didn’t think this would be one one those places!

I am absolutely not worried about him being overwhelmed or anything, he’s been out and about with us at the Tate and in cafes and on trains etc since he was about three weeks old. I’ll look up ring sling though.

OP posts:
Ozanj · 02/11/2021 16:27

@WheelieBinPrincess

This is such a first world problem, if I sound like a twat I wholeheartedly apologise in advance. I probably will sound like a twat but there’s the disclaimer. I know there are people in the world without electricity, let alone access to wanky art installations.

Got tickets to this interactive Van Gough exhibition thing in London on Friday. I don’t know what it involves, big starry night inspired instillations I guess, whatever. Anyway I booked two tickets when I was pregnant and then realised I’d have an eight week old baby when it came around, but thought oh that’ll be nice I’ll take him along, no problems. Luckily he actually loves being out and about and only kicks off when we are home to be honest so no drama there.

Anyway we are meeting a family friend to go to this exhibition on Friday, I live the other side of London but directly after this thing the baby and I are getting on a train to travel to another part of the country to see my parents. So I won’t be using the carrier (baby actually hates that anyway)

So I was just reading the FAQ’s. It says while the event is suitable for children of all ages, there’s no changing family available, and while it is accessible for wheelchairs, it is not accessible for prams and they won’t be permitted.

Which basically would mean we can’t fucking go. I honestly am not someone who hangs around and lingers looking at art for ages either so no changing facilities isn’t really a huge deal, it’s the fact that I can’t even go in with the baby.

I have emailed them but they just quoted the FAQ at me. I asked about a cloakroom (not to leave the baby in, I’ll carry him) but they’ve just not got back to me and I don’t think they have one, going by the FAQs.

Now I don’t want to spark a bit debate about wheelchairs vs pushchairs. I realise it’s entirely my choice to not only have a child but to push a buggy around and a disabled person does not have the same choices about using a wheelchair. For what it’s worth I always get off the bus for a wheelchair user, and I’m not a dick about it.

The event is in a huge space as well, I’m not saying I’d think it was okay to push the buggy around the John Soane’s. But if a space is accessible to a wheelchair am I right in thinking it’s also accessible for a buggy?! And if so, why can’t I take my buggy in there? Is it like a way of saying babies will ruin the ambiance? But surely small children in general would be capable of doing that?

Also when I booked the tickets it was over if those ‘location revealed at a later date’ hyped up wanky things so I had no way of checking.

I guess I’ll just have to push for a refund but it just seems a bit shit!

I would wear the baby in a sling as pushchair access is a problem across London especially on the tube. You can get really good ones now with clear instructions on how to put them on which makes them so easy and reliable to use.
lots33 · 02/11/2021 16:29

I had a Baby Bjorn for my first baby and he hated it. Between DC1 and DC2 I learnt that BB are the work of the devil. [grin ]So DC2 had a different sling (loaned from a sling library) and basically never went in the pram again! ….misses point of thread.

theDudesmummy · 02/11/2021 16:30

Put him in a sling! It is great and he will enjoy it. I went to numerous events and activities wearing DS in a ring sling for over a year.

endofagain · 02/11/2021 16:32

I was just going to ask which one, but the Hyde park one has now moved up to Liverpool. That was a massive, accessible for all space. I don't know about the current London based one.

unknownstory · 02/11/2021 16:36

Wheelchairs wouldn't be great in numbers. Pushchairs would. Why can't baby face forward? Mine did from tiny tbh otherwise they screamed to high heaven. I'm sure it was from very early

elbea · 02/11/2021 16:40

I don’t know the set up of the museum but when I worked for the National Trust we declined buggy’s in the houses. They had to be left at the door at your own risk. They are too big and block the exhibit for others when they are inevitably abandoned. They cause damage when they get pushed into historic door frames and furniture.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to compare prams to wheelchair users. You could carry your child in your arms or use a sling. I know of some properties that lent out hippychick hip carriers too.

I took my baby to London and drove, it was logistically much easier than with all of the associated baby paraphernalia.

BlankTimes · 02/11/2021 16:42

Hipseat's on half price offer

£20+P+P instead of £39.95

www.hippychick.com/shop/hippychick-hipseat-baby-carrier/

DappledThings · 02/11/2021 16:49

So personally, I'd get a decent sling and not bother with the buggy. Its not discriminating against parents, as babies can be carried, and can be changed in the ladies loos on a portable mat, or even on your lap.
This. Baby Bjorn really are shite. Do you have anyone you could borrow a better one from by Friday? Either a sling or a better structured one?

CrazyCatStory · 02/11/2021 16:50

Luggage hero is another left luggage site that has tons of places you can leave luggage around london. Used them without any issues a couple of times in the past. Hope you get to enjoy the day.

theDudesmummy · 02/11/2021 16:53

This was what I used for well over a year, we went all over the place without any problem and both loved it

Is this a bit discriminatory or am I being silly?
Noodleted · 02/11/2021 17:13

If it's in Shoreditch there's left luggage in Liverpool Street station so you could leave a buggy there and take the baby in a sling. Sounds like that would be easier with all the stairs.

Midlifemusings · 02/11/2021 17:15

Carry the baby in a sling or carrier on you and then put it in your luggage that you have before getting on the train.

shockthemonkey · 02/11/2021 17:16

If it's the immersive exhibit I've been to (another city) then the art is projected all over ceilings, walls and floors. That may be why they want to limit prams.

I'd feel diddled in your position and would push hard for a refund. Also, it's really lovely experience and worth going to without baby if you can!

Acrobatsdoingflips · 02/11/2021 17:21

Yeah in case my post wasn’t entirely clear, there is a safe space to leave your buggy inside the exhibition. So no need to bother with left luggage etc. You just can’t take it round with you. (Long narrow steps up and down at different points). I reckon baby would love lying on the floor looking up at the immersive bit. Our toddler loved it. Enjoy.