Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Is it not that common to be on your second marriage in your 30's

106 replies

whisperandrelax · 31/10/2021 16:38

I got married a few years ago when I was in my mid 30's, it is my second marriage. Is it not that common to marry for a second time in your 30's, none of my friend's have been in the same position as me.

OP posts:

XingMing · 31/10/2021 17:31

I married for a second time at 36 and in 2022, we will celebrate 30 years together.

Bagamoyo1 · 31/10/2021 17:32

Don’t people who have multiple marriages (after divorces) start feeling a bit embarrassed saying “till death do us part” in front of the same people, over and over again?

Tricked2003 · 31/10/2021 17:36

I got married for the first time at 19 and the second time at 36.

DivorceAdvicePlease123 · 31/10/2021 17:37

I can't even get a text back!

SirGawain · 31/10/2021 17:37

@Pumpkinsonparade

Second marriage at 32.. Third at 38. Fourth at 44.

Looks like the triumph of hope over experience!

VeryLittleOwl · 31/10/2021 17:38

Married at 24, divorced at 30, married again a few days before I turned 36, still with him 10 years on. If I ever do end up single again in the future, I'm not doing it again.

Fernie6491 · 31/10/2021 17:38

Must be some sort of record then for DH and me. Married 50 years quite recently, and amongst our friends, the closest ones married 50 years last year, and another couple will be celebrating 50 years next year!
It seems like some sort of record to have such long-lasting marriages in such a small group of people !

SmileyClare · 31/10/2021 17:38

Oops maybe I got the average age to get married wrong then! I googled average age UK first marriage but perhaps that was an unreliable source, As you were.

I suppose my point was, if you get married in your twenties, you're probably statistically more likely to get divorced?

JudgeRindersMinder · 31/10/2021 17:39

@Bagamoyo1

Don’t people who have multiple marriages (after divorces) start feeling a bit embarrassed saying “till death do us part” in front of the same people, over and over again?

I’m “only” on my second, Coming up for 25 years, but that’s precisely why we had a tiny wedding. I just couldn’t have stood up in front of the same people and said the same things again 5 years on

mydogisthebest · 31/10/2021 17:39

I can't think of anyone I know who married for the second time in their 30's.

In my family there has only been 2 divorces which were 2 of my cousins but they are in their 40's.

I married at 26 (DH was 23) and have been married 40 years, siblings both married when they were in their 20's (one 21 and the other 23) and both been married 38 years.

Parents married early 20's and married for 68 years, aunts and uncles all married in their 20's and all still married. 5 cousins all married in their 20's and all still married between 25 and 35 years.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 31/10/2021 17:39

I was widowed at 29.

Remarried at 33.

That was 26 years ago...

mydogisthebest · 31/10/2021 17:41

@Bagamoyo1

Don’t people who have multiple marriages (after divorces) start feeling a bit embarrassed saying “till death do us part” in front of the same people, over and over again?

My neighbours married in 2019 and it was the 4th wedding for both of them.

They had a huge white wedding. I did wonder how they could say their vows having said them 3 times each before. All the marriages ended in divorce

Bagelsandbrie · 31/10/2021 17:43

I got married for the second time at 31. My first marriage lasted from when I was 25-27 and before that I was engaged to someone for 5 years between 19-22. I just don’t tell anyone about the others really, everyone just always thinks I’ve been with dh forever- we’ve been married 15 years now.

girlmom21 · 31/10/2021 17:44

@DivorceAdvicePlease123

I can't even get a text back!

This is funny because of your username

ancientgran · 31/10/2021 17:44

I remarried in my 30s, 36th anniversary in November.

SmileyClare · 31/10/2021 17:45

There just isn't the social tabboo attached to being a divorcee there used to be, or "spinster" for that matter.

It's great that women (and men) don't feel tied into an unhappy marriage by societal or religious customs, in fact a lot of modern marriages in this country are more of a legal business agreement for financial security rather than "in the eyes of God..til death do us part".

NothingSafe · 31/10/2021 17:45

I think it's relatively unusual - nowadays, people tend to get married a bit older (I'm 33 and only have 4-5 friends married - everyone else hasn't yet), so people have either: generally got more life experience/know what they want and therefore stick at it longer* OR don't divorce and go onto second marriages until a bit later, say in their early 40s.

(Had a look at some recent-ish stats and the average age of divorce in the UK is in your late 40s - 47.7 years in 2019. So being in your thirties is statistically quite unusual!)

But there's nothing wrong with it - not that it's up to me in any way, haha, but I'd always rather someone leave a marriage that wasn't working and second marriages are statistically more successful (in the UK - it's the reverse in the US, apparently!).

Now a family friend of ours who's on her SIXTH husband, with associated white dress and big party each time... that strikes me as a bit weird

*Apparently, the divorce rate has been falling since 2000 in the UK - apparently driven by more people getting married older, and cohabiting first. So my point would make sense here!

MissAmbrosia · 31/10/2021 17:47

I got married at 23 and again at 36. The first marriage was short.

PermanentTemporary · 31/10/2021 17:48

I married number 2 aged 35, can't be that unusual given the number of short lived first marriages.

I have a friend who married number 3 aged 48. That time she did go away and do it on an island with the two of them and their children only! They are incredibly happy and on good terms with the exs.

I'm a widow now and may well marry again one of these decades. In times past there were many people who married two three or four times because their spouses died.

poolblue · 31/10/2021 17:48

Married at 23
Widowed at 49
Married again 57

minionsrule · 31/10/2021 17:51

I married first time at 24 (big mistake) then 2nd marriage at 35.
I know a couple of people similar

FETOCT2021 · 31/10/2021 18:02

Met at 19 married at 27 (waited to be sure because I can’t be bothered with divorce), still together at 37. My sister married at 21 and got divorced then married again at 37. Also a friend got married and divorced at age 24! It’s super common.

fumfspos · 31/10/2021 18:06

I don't think it's that uncommon. I know quite a few people who were divorced in their late 20s and remarried in their 30s.
I'm 45 and I know 3 people who are now married for the 3rd time.

HikingforScenery · 31/10/2021 18:06

@Bagamoyo1

Don’t people who have multiple marriages (after divorces) start feeling a bit embarrassed saying “till death do us part” in front of the same people, over and over again?

If they truly mean it at the time, why be embarrassed? It’s sad that others judge them when it’s causing them no harm

NeedAHoliday2021 · 31/10/2021 18:06

I’m 39 and a high number of my friends are now divorced. 2 are on second marriages but one remarried in her 30s and the other at 39. I’m one of the few still married. I think it’s best not to compare to others though.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread