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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it not that common to be on your second marriage in your 30's

106 replies

whisperandrelax · 31/10/2021 16:38

I got married a few years ago when I was in my mid 30's, it is my second marriage. Is it not that common to marry for a second time in your 30's, none of my friend's have been in the same position as me.

OP posts:

sparklefarts · 31/10/2021 17:08

I got married at 24.
Divorced 25.
Married 29. To the right person this time!

museumum · 31/10/2021 17:09

I don’t know many people who married before early to mid 30s so for them to do it a second time within five years or so is rare. I have two friends divorced within five years and with new partners but neither married again.

sparklefarts · 31/10/2021 17:10

@SwedishEdith

I've been to 2 weddings for the same person and she was in her 20s for both.

Was it me? 😃😃

MuchTooTired · 31/10/2021 17:11

I got married twice in my 20’s. With a divorce in between obviously.

All of my friends are still on their first marriage come to think of it, maybe it is odd after all.

Should this marriage go tits up, I’ll not marry again. Too much hassle!

girlmom21 · 31/10/2021 17:13

Most of our friends marry for the first time in their 30's. Although, to be fair, none of them are divorced or widowed yet.

dudsville · 31/10/2021 17:14

It's uncommon in my circle - but most of my friends married in their late 20's, early 30's or not at all. I was married twice in my 20s. I have now been very happily unmarried to my wonderful partner of 16 yrs.

LyraVega · 31/10/2021 17:14

I wouldn't say its particularly uncommon - I wouldn't bat an eye at someone marrying for the second time in their 30s

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 31/10/2021 17:14

It’s not rare, OP.

XingMing · 31/10/2021 17:15

I married for the second time at 36, and am still married.

MrsBungle · 31/10/2021 17:15

The vast majority of my friends didn’t marry til around 30. Only a couple have split - both were in their 40s. One remarried.

SmileyClare · 31/10/2021 17:16

I think it's more uncommon to get married in your twenties. Average UK age to get married (women)s 36 years.

Being on your second marriage in your thirties is nothing to be ashamed of though!

PuzzledObserver · 31/10/2021 17:17

I married for the 2nd time at 36. We just celebrated our 21st anniversary.

SwedishEdith · 31/10/2021 17:17

@sparklefarts - Oooo! (Think you've got a bigger gap between your 1st and 2nd marriage.)

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 31/10/2021 17:19

I got married the first time at 18, second at 25. Divorced again in my mid thirties. Wouldn’t do it again! I don’t think your situation is unusual though. Plenty of people who marry young it doesn’t work out, so not that strange to remarry at 30-something.

LittleDandelionClock · 31/10/2021 17:19

@whisperandrelax

Quite uncommon in my world. Many people I know aren't even on their first marriage by 30, let alone their second. Not these days anyway.

There seems to be two kinds of people (IME.) Those who got married to their first 'steady boyfriend/girlfriend,' and are still married 30-40 years later, and those who are on their 3rd or 4th husband or wife. I don't know many people who got married in their 20s and then divorced in their 30s and then remarried and are still married to their second husband/wife. I mean, I guess they exist, but I just don't know many.

Kenneldogsrock · 31/10/2021 17:19

From where I come from it’s quite common - mainly because of the expectation to marry young. 3 of my friends were married young and divorced by 30 and then they married again a couple of years later. A friend of a friend was on marriage no 3 by 38.

whoopy1 · 31/10/2021 17:19

@Pumpkinsonparade

Second marriage at 32.. Third at 38. Fourth at 44.

So every 6 years. 🤔 5th at 50??🤣🤣

LooksBetterWithAFaceMask · 31/10/2021 17:21

Dh and I married for the second time for both of us at 36.
I think nowadays it’s rarer to get married in your 20’s than it was when I got married the first time. Lots of my friends got married straight out of uni to people they had been with since school there is probably a 50/50 mix now of people still together nearly 3 decades later or those who are divorced and married again.

kwiksavenofrillsusername · 31/10/2021 17:22

It’s not so common in the UK, but I absolutely know people who had ‘starter marriages’. Married barely out of college, it lasted a few years, and then they realised they weren’t compatible. Then when a bit older and wiser, they meet someone to settle down with.

LividLaVidaLoca · 31/10/2021 17:22

I was second marriage at 39 and so was he, which was reassuring because I think before meeting each other we’d both individually worried it might put people off.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 31/10/2021 17:24

As a lot of people don't get married for the first time until they are around 30 these days, I would imagine it was fairly uncommon to have been married for a few years, possibly have had some kids, divorced and remarried, and still be in your 30s.
Obviously if you marry younger, or the marriage is very short lived, or childless, it is more likely to be on a second marriage in your 30s.

tiredandmardy · 31/10/2021 17:25

@Pumpkinsonparade

Second marriage at 32.. Third at 38. Fourth at 44.

Fifth at 52?…if any of them ended up dead, you would be the star of your own Midsommer Murders episode!

SunshineCake1 · 31/10/2021 17:26

@SmileyClare

I think it's more uncommon to get married in your twenties. Average UK age to get married (women)s 36 years.

Being on your second marriage in your thirties is nothing to be ashamed of though!

Average age for women to marry was 31 in 2020 and 33 for men.

MagicalFish · 31/10/2021 17:29

I'm 40 and can only think of 2 people I know under 50 who are divorced. One of those remarried in her 40s, the other has a long term partner and DC but didn't remarry.

CambsAlways · 31/10/2021 17:29

Married at 20, divorced at 27 , married second husband few years later still together 37 years later

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