To argue that this should is not a suitable topic for the Girl Guides

[MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled]

Girlguiding is for girls, aged 10-14. So why then do they feel the need to promote this on their social media?

This week is #AceWeek - a time to raise awareness and understanding of the asexual community. So here’s a shout-out to all of our asexual volunteers and members – thank you for everything you do in Girlguiding.

The reference to ‘members’ is quite clear. What on earth were they thinking in making reference to young girls’ sex lives (or lack of them according to the focus of the Tweet). How, as an organisation, have they strayed so far? I have two boys in the Scouts/Beavers and if this came up on either of their social media pages I would pull them out. Why is it seen to be an acceptable for Girlguiding?!!

@nolongersurprised

Teenage girls do not need to be taught that it’s a spectrum of normal to have sex with people they don’t desire.

They're not being taught anything. It's a single marketing tweet.

But this the the girl guides. Their remit, training, activities do not include sex education.

Can you show us where Girlguiding is providing sex education? Because one diversity related tweet isn't it. What is your understanding of what is actually happening? What are girls, in their groups, being told about sex, and by whom?

I think that it [asexuality] is a reasonable term in academic context but not in general use
That's the whole fucking point - some people are asexual, asexuality is not widely represented in society or the media (even rarely listed as an option in equality monitoring questionaires) - it is as valid as heterosexuality, lesbianism, bisexuality - not a bloody "reasonable term in academic context" - hence the need for an attempt to normalise it.

@nolongersurprised

Teenage girls do not need to be taught that it’s a spectrum of normal to have sex with people they don’t desire.

They're not being taught that

Lovely. More adults lining up to talk about sex with children. Just what we need.

Just because some asexual people enjoy sex or have sexual partners does not mean that teenagers need to be taught it’s okay to have sex without sexual desire and I don’t think anybody is saying that.

Asexuality is about your sexual orientation. How you feel about the act of sex doesn’t need to come into it, it’s about ensuring that teens understand that not everybody is going to have crushes/ fancy people/ feel sexual attraction towards others and that that is okay, it is a legitimate orientation.

Whether an asexual person later realises they have a sex drive and want to have sex with another person is a personal matter and I don’t think whether all asexual people will or won’t choose to have sex needs to be discussed any more than whether all gay/ straight etc people will choose to have sex. Having a sexual orientation is different to having a sex life or a sex drive and as teens the important teaching is that not feeling sexually orientated towards anybody is okay and that they are not alone in feeling like that, just as you would teach a teen that feeling sexually orientated towards the same sex is okay; you don’t need to go into the intricacies of what their sex life might look like in the future at that point, it’s just about explaining that their feelings are okay and giving them the confidence to express and explore them safely without feeling ashamed.

They're not being taught anything. It's a single marketing tweet

Posters here have said how great it is that GG are “raising awareness” of this type of sexuality. And also that some people who are asexual have sex with people they don’t feel attracted to.

At the risk of sounding ACEphobic I’d prefer my teen daughters weren’t taught that it can be “valid” to have sex with someone even if they aren’t attracted to them because they may just be asexual.

@FreeBritnee have you actually read any of the thread

@nolongersurprised

Teenage girls do not need to be taught that it’s a spectrum of normal to have sex with people they don’t desire.

You can not be sexually attracted to someone but still want to have sex with them. Nobody should force themselves to have sex when they don't want to but that's not what I'm saying SOME people do.

Because being asexual isn’t about whether you like or dislike sex. You can dislike or abstain from sex and not be asexual. You can enjoy the idea or act of sex and be asexual, not all asexual people thing sex is ‘eww.’

If you can be arsed reading what I said carefully you'll realise I didn't actually say this.

At the risk of sounding ACEphobic I’d prefer my teen daughters weren’t taught that it can be “valid” to have sex with someone even if they aren’t attracted to them because they may just be asexual.

That's not what raising awareness of asexuality is though.

At the risk of sounding ACEphobic I’d prefer my teen daughters weren’t taught that it can be “valid” to have sex with someone even if they aren’t attracted to them because they may just be asexual.

And that's not what's happening, lol.

Surely what we should be teaching teens is that actually you don’t need to feel ‘crushed’ if you are asexual and that actually it’s a legitimate orientation. That way those who are genuinely asexual are being supported and those who will just take longer to discover their orientation aren’t losing anything because the focus is not on making it a bad thing people need to feel sadness or shame over, which is how your post makes it sound?

I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time and I partly agree with you. Of course being asexual shouldn't be viewed as shameful. I'm really just arguing over the semantics of age.

You say you desperately tried to fit in and are damaged because of this, but would knowing about asexuality sooner at say age 12 have helped you? Or would you still have wanted to fit in with most of your peers. We are both taking from our own experiences and mine would have been that I very much wanted to be attracted to people, have sex, a life partner and children (when I was older). Whilst obviously I know you can do all those things as an asexual person, it just seems so much harder and I know that's not how I wanted to be. As a teen whilst I felt out of step, I had hope that I would grow into attraction (and I did).
Teens are very set in stone about their sexuality and gender, how does a teen know that they will the asexual person that grows out of it? It would be offensive to suggest people grow out of homosexuality and asexuality is viewed the same way, but it isn't the same because we all start out asexual.

You can not be sexually attracted to someone but still want to have sex with them

That’s an awesome message for our girls, right hrere

@nolongersurprised so adult volunteers being personally accepting of asexuality existing, is therefore going to immediately make them go into their groups and somehow their own opinions in the own brains, will seep out and brainwash the girls there?

Just like in teaching or whatever, you just don’t talk about your personal life with young people you work or volunteer with. I’ve never come across a volunteer who would open a meeting with ‘let’s talk about our sexuality!’ Pretty sure they’d be gone in a flash!

If your daughter saw this tweet from Girlguiding and made her own mind up from it, then fair enough. But there’s plenty out there in social media world about asexuality that I’m sure is far more explicit than this tweet. Just type it into tik tok and then think about how many kids are on that app. That’s the scary part of this, not Girlguiding tweeting some fairly inane tweet.

MolkosTeenageAngst

I’m not trying to be goady but could you explain what you mean by, ‘ I think that true asexuality does exist but that it is a very small amount of people and that for them their sexuality is potentially very distressing in the wider context of society.’

I mean that for most people who use the term, describing themselves as asexual is inaccurate and an identity not a sexuality. For some, perhaps you, describing yourself as asexual is honest and valid but that it has become part of a wider societal shift to require one to vocalise one's sexuality and there are those who will use the term that correctly applies to you and incorrectly apply it to themselves so that they can be part of this growing identity sector.

I am asexual and I’m not sure if you mean I should be distressed by my orientation or that society should be distressed that people like me exist?
I said 'potentially' distressed. If you are comfortable with your asexuality then no issue but people are suggesting that children would consider themselves freaks if they weren't introduced to the term and yet found themselves without sexual attraction. I don't think that it's relevant for most people what sexuality someone else is unless they are sexually attracted to them. Consent is important and one should not need a reason to say no.

I’m also curious as to why you think that I shouldn’t use the term ‘asexual’ in general use, how would you suggest I explain my orientation to others in that case?

Why do you need to explain your sexuality to others? Genuine question. I really don't understand. I will preface this by saying I'm bi but I have never felt the requirement to belong to other people like me - I'm just a person in a soup of people. I think that under the umbrella of all sexuality, those that are marginalised or criminalised should be fought for and one has to name those in order to fight for them. I don't see asexuality as being marginalised or criminalised. You are unlikely to not get a job because you are asexual - you are not barred from the military or thrown into jail etc...

Or should I just pretend to be straight and go along with it when people ask who I’m attracted to etc and pretend I fancy various people (men?) just so that I don’t distress anybody with the truth that I don’t feel attraction to anybody?
I don't think anyone should need a reason not to have sex or not to be attracted to people. No-one should require that explanation - I think it's regressive that people should feel the need to express their lack of interest. It's a sort of pandering to a society that's a little bit rapey, if I don't want sex with a man I must be frigid, or a lesbian or asexual or.... there isn't a requirement for an excuse.

But there’s plenty out there in social media world about asexuality that I’m sure is far more explicit than this tweet

Which is actually my original point - that our children are bombarded nowadays with information about sexuality and the 100 plus genders.

GG don’t need to be “raising awareness” as well. Especially as a teen girl who decides they are asexual at 13 because they’re not interested in boys/girls seems fairly ripe pickings for sexual coercion later on. “No one who is asexual feels sexual attraction but I know you love me and you’ll enjoy sex”.

I am just trying to get my head round the idea that being asexual means you might want to have sex with someone you are not sexually attracted to. How can you be asexual and have sexual arousal for others? If its not for others then it really is fucked up to want to have sex woth someone you dont have any sexual urges for. Its a bit likr saying you are a lesbian but may want to have sex with men even though you arent sexually attracted to them. Its all a bit queer theory and blurring of boundaries in that everything means absolutely anything you want it to mean from an individual perspective and is a form of gaslighting

from some of the ignorant twattish posts

Oh dear

Yanbu

Everything is so heavy at the moment. Steeped in identity and sexuality. If certain charities are involved, ones who don't even recognise homosexuality and think that 2 males can be lesbians as they have re defined same sex attraction as same gender attraction ( on their glossary if terms btw if you Google) then how on earth would anyone trust their information acuut this would be accurate

Peope chose gg fir a reason. Sone kids will he from religious backgrounds and not allowed to socialise with members if the opposite sex.

Some will be there to avoid boys fir one evening awake. Sexual harassment ajd assult is rife in schools. The last thing they need is to find the place they have away from being called slags and asked for blow jobs in school is also inserting themselves into their personal lives .

How do we ensure that some of these girls who will be victims of abuse and harassment do not label their very rational response to said trauma ( a complete lack of interest in anyone) as just being asexual and therfore not seeking or not talking to anyone about whts happened to them?

Why do we need these children to validate the sexualities if adults so badly ?

Can they honestly not have 2 hours a week off?

Amend we all know half the time island all fir bloody show anyway. Schools/organisations bang on about inclusion ajd diversity but I they never do anything beyond stick posters up.

They claim.to be a safe space , lull them onto a false sense of security that they can say or do anything then they hang them.out to dry.

This isn't fir the kids benefit this is all so adults can feel good abiut themselves.

At the risk of sounding ACEphobic I’d prefer my teen daughters weren’t taught that it can be “valid” to have sex with someone even if they aren’t attracted to them because they may just be asexual.

It says absolutely nothing of the sort in Girlguiding's post. You're picking stuff up from comments here. FFS. There's a whole alternate reality being created in this thread just so people can get outraged at it.

Its all a bit queer theory and blurring of boundaries

Yep. Let’s normalise having sex with people we don’t fancy to our girls!

You're picking stuff up from comments here

You mean, the asexual people on this thread are explaining what it means?

@Whatwouldscullydo please read the posts from actual leaders. No where is this a subject that is ‘taught’ at meetings or anything like that

The only way it would be brought up really is if the girls started it discussing it themselves. Leaders would be very reluctant to give an opinion. That’s not our job.