To ask them to control the children?

[PyjamaMuddleduck]

I attend a specialist baby and toddler group for families. There’s a separate baby room with socially distant mats for each family and a bigger toddler/child room.
This week, a very snotty toddler came into the baby room and to the mat where we were, leaving a toy behind. Several other children also ran around the room close to the babies.
My baby now sounds snuffly and has a cough (covid test pending) - we’ve not been anywhere else this week.
WIBU to ask the organisers to remind parents to keep the older kids out of the baby room? And maybe not to bring their children if they’re clearly unwell?
I love going but not sure we’ll go back now

I think you’re being a bit unreasonable OP, sorry. Are you planning on keeping your child socially distanced from other children forever? Won’t they get to play with other children? Catching colds is normal, your child needs to build some immunity, surely? I can appreciate covid is something we would all like to avoid but if your child catches it, it’s unlikely to cause any serious issues.

I assume this is your first child lol

YABU

You can expect children to be present at a baby and toddler group.

Kids get colds.

Oh, sweetheart. This is how the world is. I get that it's stressful but deep breaths, shoulders squared and face it head on.

It's pandemic, it's fucking awful, our government is fucking useless and it's everywhere as a result but you just have to maintain a decent comfort zone that allows you and your baby to live a relatively normal life and oftentimes that will mean being in situations like this and you will both be ok and you're still a good mum

Your baby needs to build their immune system and won’t stay a baby forever and soon your child will be just like those toddlers walking about and picking things up OP.

Oh dear.

No, you can't. This is what life is like when you have children. They go to nursery. They go to toddler group. They mix with others and they get their immune systems challenged. They have siblings who have colds and who go to these things even when they don't go anywhere themselves.

I'm sorry. Covid has messed with your head, combined with having a pfb. You cannot and should not wrap your baby in cotton wool and hide him away from snotty toddlers. It's good for him socially and physically to mix with other tinies. And toddlers are tiny too, even if they look HUGE and threatening to you right now.

This is life with Little kids....Snot snot and more snot...

If it’s a specialist session - is your baby especially vulnerable? Are there rules in place about who can access where? Were the toddlers part of the same families also using the baby room?

Unfortunately toddlers can be snotty for about nine months of the year straight. Your baby might have caught something from one of the people already in the baby room, it is that time of year sadly.

It is rotten when they are ill though, massive sympathies.

I don’t think it would be unreasonable to ask those things BUT I think it’s to be expected that that sort of thing would happen and unless your baby is very young or high risk of illnesses eg premature then I wouldn’t worry about them catching a cold x

Thanks all, I probably am being pfb but it’s literally been one day off since the last snotty bug which lasted a month - her sleep goes to shit when she’s unwell and I’m feeling a bit broken by it.
Seems pointless having a separate baby room if the bigger kids are just going to thunder around it anyway.
Will try to gain some perspective

The problem with that set up is that many parents have both a baby and a toddler. What are they supposed to do as they obviously can't leave the toddler unsupervised while they go to the baby area and vice versa.

Unfortunately babys first winter is always cold after cold as they have never been exposed to them before. Try and see it as a positive thing that they are building up their immune system. I hope this cold is easier than the last!

Totally take your point re families with both - this wasn’t the case on this occasion, they were just wandering in unsupervised.
I’m not sure getting colds build their immune systems as the circulating bugs change every year - that’s why we all keep getting them!

Yy ime there's no benefit to getting colds when young. As you say there'll be different colds circulating next year and she'll just get them then. And when she goes to nursery .. and when she goes to school ... and they won't be any nicer just because she's had previous colds.

But ... It just what it is. We're in the world, there are viruses, they're not nice. I'm sorry OP.

Also grumpy as have had to cancel one set of plans and potentially more depending on how long it takes for PCR to come back - we’re in the North and they seem to be taking a while at the moment.
I’m sure this covid joy is clouding my judgement too (but also all the more reason to keep your virally kids away from mine!)

I understand the grumpiness, but no one has done anything wrong, it’s just bad luck

I would have given anything for the baby and toddler groups to be open this time last year

@RichTeaRichTea has a point. Hate to be another one saying it but I would also have loved groups to be open last year even if it meant my baby getting colds etc. Instead, she had one cold until she was 13 months old, but with that came no groups, limited interaction with others, days out etc.

It is horrible when they're poorly but your baby will be knocked by the next cold less severely than the previous or that's what I have found. Sorry to get a bit top trumpsy but maybe thinking about it like that will help put it in perspective a little x

No drama
Just drop them an email. Not complaining or emotive. Just a gentle nudge to ring fence the baby room

As long as babies are allowed in the toddler room? So that those with a baby AND a toddler can attend

Welcome to world of parenting. Its one of the downsides and it'll only get worse when your child starts nursery where they will pick up much worse than a cold/cough. There's slapped cheek, Norovirus, hand, foot and mouth & chicken pox, just to name a few.
You absolutely cannot avoid these settings which are in the long run, beneficial to your baby.

This is normal life I'm afraid, babies, colds, snot and repeat.

‘ Welcome to world of parenting’ that is ridiculously patronising.

Op, sadly a lot of parents will take their unwell children absolutely everywhere and no shits are given by them. It’s ok to be annoyed about this. It’s probably the patronising ones on this thread that are the worst offending culprits.

I went to soft play on Monday and have got an absolutely terrible cold. I’m pissed off because I was finally overcoming my morning sickness and slowly gaining my appetite back and managing to brush my teeth without being sick/ not gagging at everything. This cold has knocked me right back to square one.
Did someone need to take their full of cold child to soft play? Of course they didn’t.

@Staryflight445

‘ Welcome to world of parenting’ that is ridiculously patronising.

Op, sadly a lot of parents will take their unwell children absolutely everywhere and no shits are given by them. It’s ok to be annoyed about this. It’s probably the patronising ones on this thread that are the worst offending culprits.

I went to soft play on Monday and have got an absolutely terrible cold. I’m pissed off because I was finally overcoming my morning sickness and slowly gaining my appetite back and managing to brush my teeth without being sick/ not gagging at everything. This cold has knocked me right back to square one.
Did someone need to take their full of cold child to soft play? Of course they didn’t.

Oh come on, if parents stayed in every time their kids had a cold they’d never leave the house in winter.

I think covid fear is spreading into other Illnesses.

My toddler has had a constant cold/snotty nose since September. She’s been in nursery all through the pandemic but there’s so many bugs circulating at the minute but my eldest who is 6 is hardly ever Ill as she caught so much when she was younger at nursery. This is life with kids who mix with other kids, I appreciate that it’s difficult having a small baby in a pandemic but some on here seem to be suffering severe health anxiety about it.

I’m not sure getting colds build their immune systems as the circulating bugs change every year - that’s why we all keep getting them!

You don’t understand how it works. It builds their general immunity. So next cold they will still catch it but their body will have started to recognise viral families and will be able to fight it faster as immune memory kicks in. Sure, different strains mean you will still catch it and get sick but if you look at a teenager versus a toddler for example, one group will be super snotty for ages whereas tue other may get a few sniffles and be over and done with quickly. If you keep your child away from any potential bugs you are just kicking the can down the road. It’s substantial pain at the beginning for long term gain.

If you had a run of the mill cold and you went to an isolated tribe somewhere who had never been exposed to any of our viruses you would wipe them out pretty much immediately. Your baby started with some immunity conferred by yourself but now has to start building on that.

Also, later when you have a few kids including an older rampaging toddler you will think back on this and cringe.

There are new cold variants circulating each year but they are from virus groups familiar to our body and we do get some shorter term immunity.

You can't expect groups to operate in a way that's limiting for other families because you would prefer your pfb not to get a cold. If you are that bothered, you can make the choice to stay home.

I would send an email and if they're not prepared to keep toddlers out of the designated baby room (ie from coming too close to your baby) I personally wouldn't go back.