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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask them to control the children?

146 replies

PyjamaMuddleduck · 31/10/2021 01:25

I attend a specialist baby and toddler group for families. There’s a separate baby room with socially distant mats for each family and a bigger toddler/child room.
This week, a very snotty toddler came into the baby room and to the mat where we were, leaving a toy behind. Several other children also ran around the room close to the babies.
My baby now sounds snuffly and has a cough (covid test pending) - we’ve not been anywhere else this week.
WIBU to ask the organisers to remind parents to keep the older kids out of the baby room? And maybe not to bring their children if they’re clearly unwell?
I love going but not sure we’ll go back now

OP posts:
FoxtrotSkarloey · 31/10/2021 06:52

You can't do much about the colds, but it would be fine to ask they remind and enforce that the baby room is for babies.

KatieKat88 · 31/10/2021 06:58

Honestly I understand why you'd be stressed about this, but when your baby has become the rampaging toddler you'll understand why it's not as easy as it seems to keep them from the baby area! 1) they're bloody quick and although I diligently run around after mine I am also trying to vaguely tidy up the chaos she leaves in her wake to be helpful to the playgroup organisers 2) they're usually obsessed with babies and want to find them and shout baaabbyyyyy 3) they're toddlers - they have no concept of areas that are just for certain children and not for others. They're not being naughty, they're just being toddlers. I agree that toddler parents should be doing their best to keep them out of the baby room but the baby parents are also there to keep their little ones out of harm's way and scoop them up for a second if needed. Colds are rubbish for babies but inevitable.

GoodGrief100 · 31/10/2021 06:58

At the end of the day, you're entitled to your opinion, but others are entitled to theirs. If you don't want your baby catching a cold, don't go to these places - annoying, but that's the price you pay for your opinion on the matter. Babies will catch colds constantly until their body is immune (that is a fact) and it slows down as they get older. The only reason they have a separate baby room is so they aren't trampled by older children essentially.

Original poster
PyjamaMuddleduck · 31/10/2021 07:04

The only reason they have a separate baby room is so they aren't trampled by older children essentially.

I think you are inadvertently agreeing with me here. They shouldn’t have been running around the baby room, snot or not.

OP posts:
Staryflight445 · 31/10/2021 07:04

‘ Babies will catch colds constantly until their body is immune (that is a fact)’

No it isn’t, because immunity to these viruses will never happen. They constantly mutate. Don’t be ridiculous.

People should not be taking their unwell children to little groups, it’s selfish.

IseeScottishhills · 31/10/2021 07:07

@PyjamaMuddleduck

Totally take your point re families with both - this wasn’t the case on this occasion, they were just wandering in unsupervised. I’m not sure getting colds build their immune systems as the circulating bugs change every year - that’s why we all keep getting them!
There is well accepted evidence that a child exposed to lots of upper respiratory infections under 1 yr old is less likely to develop asthma.
GoodGrief100 · 31/10/2021 07:08

@PyjamaMuddleduck

*The only reason they have a separate baby room is so they aren't trampled by older children essentially.*

I think you are inadvertently agreeing with me here. They shouldn’t have been running around the baby room, snot or not.

You're right, if that's your main cause for concern then by all means raise it with the centre. I read your post being more about your baby getting colds though....so in that respect, YABU.
marykitty · 31/10/2021 07:10

If the contact your baby had with the toddlers was limited to then storming in the room and leaving shortly after (as I would imagine my toddler would do, like banging the door open, sprinting inside and immediately leave chasing another toddler around) I would be more prone to think that your baby got it from another baby in the room or another baby's parent during your session

GoodGrief100 · 31/10/2021 07:12

@Staryflight445

‘ Babies will catch colds constantly until their body is immune (that is a fact)’

No it isn’t, because immunity to these viruses will never happen. They constantly mutate. Don’t be ridiculous.

People should not be taking their unwell children to little groups, it’s selfish.

So the reason for babies in nursery getting colds every week and then a few years later significantly reduced is because...? What? Magic? Of course their bodies build up immunity! Read the NHS website before posting foolish responses. Unwell children is different to snotty children - kids are snotty a lot but it doesn't necessarily mean they're 'unwell'.
SunndyD · 31/10/2021 07:13

If I covid tested my DD every time she had a cough she would always be self isolating and never at bursary 😬😬🤣

Every cold DD gets, and DS gets comes with a cough… they always have done pre covid for my DS and always will do… that’s just how my kids are.

SunndyD · 31/10/2021 07:14
  • nursery not bursary
hardboiledeggs · 31/10/2021 07:15

I know it’s frustrating but there’s nothing you can do, you wbu to ask as nothing will be done and you will be forever known as “that” parent. Just wait till your DC go to nursery.

Caspianberg · 31/10/2021 07:15

Unrelated to cold issue, but there’s no way I could keep my 18 months on a Mat for a whole session.
I spend the whole day stopping him climbing on stuff and getting in danger at home and out and about, so I would assume it’s fine at a toddler group for him to safely wander around half hour ( I would be following him). They only way to keep him in a Mat would be duck tape.

If someone complained about him going to say hi to another child after being home without seeing any other children since he was born it would really upset me. I would probably just not bother returning and Ds would just loose out.
If we had to stay on a Mat, with no contact with anyone then I might as well stay at home

Original poster
PyjamaMuddleduck · 31/10/2021 07:18

@Caspianberg non-mobile babies have mats in the baby room. The toddlers have a huge room to run around and mix in

OP posts:
Staryflight445 · 31/10/2021 07:19

It really isn’t foolish, every autumn/winter is the same.

I don’t need to read the nhs website, I understand how immunity works and especially when it comes to colds. @GoodGrief100

milkieway · 31/10/2021 07:20

What is "specialist" about the group ?

GoodGrief100 · 31/10/2021 07:22

@Staryflight445

It really isn’t foolish, every autumn/winter is the same.

I don’t need to read the nhs website, I understand how immunity works and especially when it comes to colds. @GoodGrief100

You're obviously much cleverer than those educated to advise the country on such things...no need for you to read anything!

Well done 👏

YesIDoLoveCrisps · 31/10/2021 07:23

When you have a toddler you will realise it’s impossible to stop them going places they shouldn’t and they will have a had a hundred colds and viruses and you will feel really embarrassed about writing all this.

Staryflight445 · 31/10/2021 07:25

Did a quick google hurt your feelings @GoodGrief100 ?

Original poster
PyjamaMuddleduck · 31/10/2021 07:25

It’s for families from a particular community. It’s a small group.

OP posts:
NewtoHolland · 31/10/2021 07:27

Its hard, the thing is many toddlers are constantly snotty it's the age for it! So may not always mean they are unwell.
I don't think you are half as unreasonable as the person who is cross about getting snuffly after soft play, soft play is an absolute germ infested grim pit. Every visit is a test of everyone's immune system, if you are adverse to picking up a cold, I wouldn't go.

Staryflight445 · 31/10/2021 07:27

There’s over 200 strains of virus circulating that result in the common cold, if you believe your children are gaining immunity against all colds, then you do you @GoodGrief100

But I’ll be firmly sat in the throws of reality.

Original poster
PyjamaMuddleduck · 31/10/2021 07:28

@YesIDoLoveCrisps

When you have a toddler you will realise it’s impossible to stop them going places they shouldn’t and they will have a had a hundred colds and viruses and you will feel really embarrassed about writing all this.
I don’t think I will. I accept that I’m being unreasonable, the thread has helped me gain some perspective but I’m also allowed to disagree with some of the posts about pandemic management. No need to be snipey
OP posts:
Hercisback · 31/10/2021 07:28

@Staryflight445 You're rude and wrong. PPs have mentioned that you build immunity to viral groups and even if the virus mutates, your body still has lasting immunity and a memory of how to react to the viral group.

GoodGrief100 · 31/10/2021 07:30

@Staryflight445

There’s over 200 strains of virus circulating that result in the common cold, if you believe your children are gaining immunity against all colds, then you do you *@GoodGrief100*

But I’ll be firmly sat in the throws of reality.

Where did I say all colds?