To ask them to control the children?

[PyjamaMuddleduck]

I attend a specialist baby and toddler group for families. There’s a separate baby room with socially distant mats for each family and a bigger toddler/child room.
This week, a very snotty toddler came into the baby room and to the mat where we were, leaving a toy behind. Several other children also ran around the room close to the babies.
My baby now sounds snuffly and has a cough (covid test pending) - we’ve not been anywhere else this week.
WIBU to ask the organisers to remind parents to keep the older kids out of the baby room? And maybe not to bring their children if they’re clearly unwell?
I love going but not sure we’ll go back now

@Staryflight445

‘ Welcome to world of parenting’ that is ridiculously patronising.

Op, sadly a lot of parents will take their unwell children absolutely everywhere and no shits are given by them. It’s ok to be annoyed about this. It’s probably the patronising ones on this thread that are the worst offending culprits.

I went to soft play on Monday and have got an absolutely terrible cold. I’m pissed off because I was finally overcoming my morning sickness and slowly gaining my appetite back and managing to brush my teeth without being sick/ not gagging at everything. This cold has knocked me right back to square one.
Did someone need to take their full of cold child to soft play? Of course they didn’t.

Agree. I wouldn't go to work with a stinking cold, it's just courtesy and common sense.

@Kitkat151

My 3 Very young GC all have inhalers for symptoms of asthma .....they have snotty noses and cough most of the winter....we certainly wouldn’t be PCR testing them every 5 minutes

Presumably as the cough isn't a new cough or unusual for that child . It presents itself as a particular.cough type, with specific symptoms,alongside it.

The Op isn't in that position.

I didn't even know that babies were supposed to have pcr tests? I'm sure that initially they didn't.

As for snottiness, it can go on forever. My DGD had been snotty for over three weeks. Expecting her not to go anywhere in that time is entirely unreasonable.

Mine used to get ill every week after a visit to the parent and baby group. It was on Thursdays, and regular as clockwork, she was unwell by Saturday.

They pick up germs every time they socialise with other kids, but that's how they build up immunity. It's always happened that way, it's just that we have one more germ to catch now than we did before.

Im going to assume your view is skewed by having a baby during covid times. This is all very usual and part of having children.

I wish we could get away from the “selfish” accusations. I help out at a baby and toddler group and have never known anyone to bring a really miserable coldy child. Runny/snotty nose that needs wiping every so often yes. These threads have been around forever, well before covid. There is a balance between taking a really ill child out and about when they should be at home and staying at home for the slightest runny nose, and the vast majority of people make a fairly reasonable judgement between the two

I used to help run a baby and toddler group

The problem is. You need to ask the parents. As a church run group. We cannot control other people’s children. We rely on parents helping us to do so.

Forget the voluntary staff. Who give their time for nothing. It’s not them who need to deal with this

It’s the two adult parents. Who need to chat really.

@Staryflight445 correct, they absolutely don't need to go to soft ay when they're ill, those places are germ fests at the best of times! We went and there were kids coughing and sneezing and hacking everywhere...... 6 days later, positive covid tests all round, I can't think of anywhere else we could have picked it up from (although you can never be sure) so I'm grumpy about that!

OP it's relentless when they're just constantly ill, but I do think it's part and parcel of having young children, doesn't make it any less irritating though 👎 hoping your test comes back negative! I do think you should mention the toddlers in the baby room though

However. I completely agree about people keeping their kids at home when they’re sick

I have a very rare condition which mean the childhood illness could kill me. Sickness bugs kill people with my condition in up to 85% who catch one. It’s frightening.

However. I assume that people will try and kee their children hone and we don’t attend soft play at all.

Sorry OP, yabu

Its a fact of life im afraid

Wait until your PFB starts nursery

@PyjamaMuddleduck

Totally take your point re families with both - this wasn’t the case on this occasion, they were just wandering in unsupervised. I’m not sure getting colds build their immune systems as the circulating bugs change every year - that’s why we all keep getting them!

That's true - but as the children get older they will do less and less things to pick up viruses (babies put things in their mouths, younger children get very close to each other and can't cover their mouths when sneezing etc). So it's always a slog when they're younger. There will be SOME things that they pick up that they won't get again that it's worth getting out of the way, but yes colds will just keep happening unfortunately. Probably until they're a couple of years into primary school!

I agree with you that people should not be taking their kids to things like this when they are ill, unless it's necessary for them to be there, such as school/nursery or the supermarket. People that do that will inevitably just scoff at you and ask you if this is your PFB, but actually they are just used to behaving in this selfish, inconsiderate manner and don't seem to be able to comprehend that not everybody does so.

Lol I would have written this when DD was 4 months old and now she is the toddler that I struggle to control, having had so many months in lockdown, I don't really like to keep telling her off!

“ or the supermarket”

Not so long ago, taking children to the supermarket with or without a cold was considered to be the height of responsibility, no matter whether single parent etc - it was considered putting others at unacceptable risk. Perspectives change

There is a balance between taking a really ill child out and about when they should be at home and staying at home for the slightest runny nose, and the vast majority of people make a fairly reasonable judgement between the two

I agree. There's a large area between 'really ill' and 'the slightest runny nose' though.

I used to wish people were more careful about keeping children home when they had heavy colds at least. You can't avoid all illness, nor should you want to, but there is a balance to be struck. What people sometimes don't really appreciate is that a fairly mild illness for some can be a lot more serious and require hospitalisation for others. This is particularly true for the many children with asthma, and for babies (who have smaller, narrower airways and are thus more severely affected when those airways get inflamed).

Lots of children end up in hospital each year from colds, but I don't think people necessarily realise this. They also require lots of antibiotics and oral steroids which isn't great. For mine, at least, this was the case with every bug they caught until they were 8 or 9, though it's a bit better now they're slightly older.

Covid adds another layer of complexity, of course.

“ What people sometimes don't really appreciate is that a fairly mild illness for some can be a lot more serious and require hospitalisation for others.”

Yes, my eldest was hospitalised twice with bronchiolitis during his first year (pre covid), and had ongoing respiratory problems as a result. My sibling has a long term health condition from a childhood virus. Everyone can be aware but equally if it’s mild then it’s mild so what can people do really. It’s always been the case that for vulnerable people, or just through bad luck, a virus can turn nasty - people are just more aware than ever now. I feel no blame for whoever was out and about with the viruses that ended up hospitalising my child. In my experience, most people are making sensible decisions about when to keep a child at home and when not to. Sometimes they make a bad call and the child takes a turn for the worse - I have had similar at a toddler group when it was clear my child suddenly had a temperature and we went home.

Oh dear you are being silly. How will your baby immune system build up. You need help

@Assssssssssss

Oh dear you are being silly. How will your baby immune system build up. You need help

I think your username says it all here.

@RichTeaRichTea

“ or the supermarket”

Not so long ago, taking children to the supermarket with or without a cold was considered to be the height of responsibility, no matter whether single parent etc - it was considered putting others at unacceptable risk. Perspectives change

Yes I get that, the supermarket was an example of an errand adults often have to go on and take their children, even if they are ill. I see an awful lot of parents taking children to totally unnecessary things whilst clearly ill with a nasty bug, and their argument is just that they shouldn't have to "miss out". I think it's pretty rich that such people call other parents precious for not wanting to spend the next week looking after a poorly child, when they themselves are so precious they can't countenance their little darlings missing out on a couple of fun things to avoid spreading their germs to others.

@RichTeaRichTea

I agree, sometimes it can be a tough one to call. You can send a mostly well child to school and get a call during the day that they seem quite unwell now.

I don't really blame parents for going out and about with their children. But I do think since Covid we are more aware of how our actions may impact others. I don't know...from reading this thread it seems like many are unaware that colds can be serious for some children. Of course it's good to build up the immune system but there's a balance. Constant illness can weaken instead of strengthening sometimes.

It's not that it's only the rare child who's affected badly too. Loads are hospitalised every year.
In the past, some of these children wouldn't have made it to adulthood but thankfully most do now. And we have forgotten how dangerous colds once were in the young.

Finding the balance is hard sometimes

[quote Mulhollandmagoo]@Staryflight445 correct, they absolutely don't need to go to soft ay when they're ill, those places are germ fests at the best of times! We went and there were kids coughing and sneezing and hacking everywhere...... 6 days later, positive covid tests all round, I can't think of anywhere else we could have picked it up from (although you can never be sure) so I'm grumpy about that!

OP it's relentless when they're just constantly ill, but I do think it's part and parcel of having young children, doesn't make it any less irritating though 👎 hoping your test comes back negative! I do think you should mention the toddlers in the baby room though[/quote]
My daughter's class had over half of them off with covid before half-term. Nearly all were asymptomatic, including my daughter.

They now have a common cold with overt symptoms and so are having to stay in because they will be treated like lepers, even though it's not covid. Even though, when you go to soft play you go secure in the knowledge that multiple children touching things with unseen germs is a possibility including things like chicken pox, hand foot and mouth etc.

Soft plays always have been and always will be an absolute hive for germs.