Spider in the airing cupboard disagreement

[WTF475878237NC]

I am scared of spiders. Both parents are as well as siblings.

Spider in the airing cupboard the other day when I came to get bedding out. Sprayed with well known chemical spray and shut the door. Realise afterwards I should not have done this as the chemicals will be all over our bedding and towels. Decide to re-wash the towels and spare bedding (this is three loads of laundry). I get through one load. Then today my partner is going to make the spare bed up and goes to the airing cupboard and I explain what happened and I haven't finished washing it all. He is angry and swears and exclaims we live in the effing countryside and I need to stop being so ridiculous and how effing annoying this is and I should not have used the spray and should have just ignored the spider.

Another load is in the wash but the atmosphere is horrible now.

YABU get over your spider phobia or don't bother with the bedding

YANBU you can't help the phobia and need to wash the bedding

Yes, you were being ridiculous. Just shut the door if you're scared. Killing things is not ok.

I'm scared of spiders and even I don't kill them.

YABU to have killed it.

I have just been reading about the environmental impact of killing spiders too! I hadn't even thought about that until he said.

I'd have sprayed him as well for his outburst 🤣🤣 I'm terrified of spiders and I'd probably have done the same in a panic

Spider would have been eating all the other bugs that might eat your sheets. Leave them be!

As long as you're in the UK not Australia.... then please leave spiders to do their thing. They're not going to harm you in any way (and as you correctly surmise, the chemicals you used on Sally Spider are far more hazardous to your health than she is!)

YABU you should have murdered it in cold blood and not mentioned it to your husband at all.
You can't be spraying stuff like that about willy nilly.

Yes that's what I've just read too RandomDent

I do understand your fear though, and empathise with you- my DD is terrified of them too. We have a dedicated "spider cup" in our house, just a plastic beaker with a wide mouth, and any seen roaming in her room are shown (politely) out of the door

I need a spider cup!

Fgs grown adult scared of a spider so kills it in a horrible way. Can you imagine what it would be like to be killed like that?

Yes, YABU

I am very scared of spiders but try and ignore them where possible. I would have asked DH to go sort the spider out so I wouldn't have to go in the cupboard. He's usually understanding and does remove, even with a bit of huffing and eye rolling. Your OH was mean to shout at you, it's not rational and your (and my!) Life would be a lot easier if we weren't scared of spiders!

I wouldn't have moved to the countryside though for this reason. Not even joking, we've bought recently and houses next to fields were immediately ruled out 😂

@haba

As long as you're in the UK not Australia.... then please leave spiders to do their thing. They're not going to harm you in any way (and as you correctly surmise, the chemicals you used on Sally Spider are far more hazardous to your health than she is!)

Oh yes, the UK / Australia thing. I act all brave because the UK spiders are harmless. In other countries I would act very differently!

I can't say YABU or YANBU.

I get why you sprayed it, I am arachnophobe too. But I might have managed to close the door, give it a wide birth and get DH to get rid of it.

Having said that, fuck all the 'poor spider' responses. If they want to be left in peace they should shed at least 2 legs, stay hidden, preferably go live in someone else's house. We arachnophobes obviously don't bother them or they'd have evolved to avoid us!

They do what they are programmed to do and so do I.

We're not actually in the countryside but I get his point; we're not in a high rise London apartment either.

How have people with this fear learnt to overcome it?

You are totally unreasonable, for spraying all of those horrible chemicals and for killing a harmless spider. Get a grip.

The way you killed the spider says more about you than the fact you were scared.
I suspect your husband is thinking about that too.

You shouldn’t have sprayed the spider but having done that, I would also wash the bedding and towels

Yes sorry the UK! I have seen some of the Australian ones on the TV and I honestly don't know how I'd cope!

I found your voting odd, as YABU to kill the spider, but YANBU to wash everything as you sprayed chemicals over it all.

Next time shut the door and let your pet spider be.

I overcome the fear by having a bit of respect for fellow creatures that share the planet with us.

Try spraying with a solution of peppermint oil, not harmful ( I don't think) but they don't like it. Smells nice on bedding etc too!

Phobias are no one's business except the sufferer, and they should not incorporate others into it. The way you reacted is unreasonable.

My arachnophobic friend had hypnotherapy and CBT. They both worked to some extent. She still doesn't like spiders but she no longer panics and can remove a spider humanely.

I have a phobia and have booked a friendly spider course this year. I have the fear and we have some really big buggers around!