Just relax, lower your standards....

[PippyLongmocking]

...live in a shit hole.

Why do untidy people get to languish in their own filth and squalor, while tidy people get the choices of;

1. Clean and tidy for them.
2. Nag, whine, beg, plead, create whiteboards, starcharts, threaten divorce.
3. 'Lower your standards'. In other words live in a crap hole.

Why does no bugger say 'increase your standards' or 'compromise you piggy, pay for a cleaner'?

Aibu to think the messiest laziest member of the household has a better deal.
They get to do jack shit while proclaiming 'I just don't see mess' 'it doesn't bother me'.

My standards are now so low that it's unrecognisable what they are.

Now, I do all the cooking, household management work full time and am the bread winner

He is virtually retired but apparently doesn’t like waking around having to tidy up
After me

He admits he walks around looking for things that need to be cleaned.

re read what you wrote here @Rabblesthecat

Do you honestly mean “he’s lovely in every other way”?

I like very clean & tidy, DH not so much. But what I have come to appreciate are the other things he does: Cut the grass, rake up leaves, food shopping, load/empty dishwasher, bins out, laundry load and other bits n pieces

So for me, it's about realising that yes, I do more cleaning around the house, but our 'chores' are shared and if you're not feeling that balance then it's an issue. Also if you feel disrespected then that's totally different.

What I realise I am lucky for is that we have a bathroom each, plus a guest loo - I never never go into his loo unless I need to whack some bleach down because it's gotten unpalatable and is 'affecting me' lol he can clean it or suffer it, no sweat off for me and the same goes for his home office which he constantly complains about the mess and disorganisation - mate, the whole house would look like this if it wasn't for me!

Saw these thought of this thread - hope they come up in the correct order …

Then …

Finally …

They haven’t but I’m sure you can work them out.

Yanbu at all!