Page 3 | To get friends kids second hand presents

AudTheDeepMinded · 29/10/2021 16:30

@FateHasRedesignedMost agree re grubby or broken items, but brand new gifts that have been donated as unwanted or dead stock are fair game for me. The world is drowning in crap and if I can help reduce my contribution to that then I will.

PersonaNonGarter · 29/10/2021 16:32

I wouldn’t.

And I happily buy second hand for myself and my own family. But never others.

halloweenqwueeeen · 29/10/2021 16:33

Depends on your friends opinion on second hand.

I would never by my DD second hand toys or clothes so I would not appreciate someone else doing so.

Viviennemary · 29/10/2021 16:40

Absolutely unacceptable. For other people its a no no unless you come to an agreement.,

hamsterchump · 29/10/2021 16:41

@HereWeGoAgains But it's Lego! If you've got some then more is infinitely useful and rebuildable surely? Not to mention how expensive it is! Are there really kids who just build the thing in the picture and then that's it, they never try to build anything else? They just put it back in the box never to be touched again?

CatsArePeople · 29/10/2021 16:48

But it's Lego! If you've got some then more is infinitely useful and rebuildable surely? Not to mention how expensive it is! Are there really kids who just build the thing in the picture and then that's it, they never try to build anything else? They just put it back in the box never to be touched again?

So buy it for yourself, or your own kids. Legos too get scuffed or small parts lost - imagine to discover missing an important part from your present. Not cool.

TakeMeToYourLiar · 29/10/2021 16:49

I think it depends if you know them. I would be thrilled

My sister (who I think is an idiot) would be disgusted and insulted

RobertaFirmino · 29/10/2021 16:49

I'm willing to bet I could give you or your children a gift which I have 'sourced' from the CS where I work and you'd never know. Lots of the items we are given are in immaculate condition. We get unread books, unopened games/jigsaws/activity sets, unused toiletry sets (and not just B&H either!) and so on.

In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if many of you have already been given such gifts and loved them!

CatsArePeople · 29/10/2021 16:52

In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if many of you have already been given such gifts and loved them!

Yes, because the item is brand new. But if its obviously used, then not cool at all. Unless the recipient loves vintage.

AudTheDeepMinded · 29/10/2021 16:54

@RobertaFirmina absolutely. I buy most stocking fillers from charity shops, unopened boxes of Cath Kidston hand creams; Spitfire novelty socks still in the cardboard thingy, small boxed transformer toy, Lego Light, unopened, Beautiful handbag notebook and attached mini pen, unused, are just some of the things already stashed for this year.

Original poster

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 29/10/2021 17:03

@halloweenqwueeeen

Why wouldn’t you? I couldn’t imagine buying everything new- expensive and terrible for the environment.

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Original poster

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 29/10/2021 17:03

I’ve never got my kids new books- all books are from a free Facebook group where we swap books or give them away free. £6 of a new book is mental

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covetingthepreciousthings · 29/10/2021 17:07

@Viviennemary

Absolutely unacceptable. For other people its a no no unless you come to an agreement.,

Find this response bizarre, why is it absolutely unacceptable.

I can only imagine those saying these things have never actually seen what amazing items you can source secondhand / or find in charity shops..

FlowerArranger · 29/10/2021 17:11

Some of the attitudes on this thread sadden me. Our planet is literally suffocating on plastic, and yet people worry or are aghast about gifting perfectly serviceable second hand toys. Toys!! Toys that are played with for a nanosecond (in earth year terms...) before being discarded.

Why give Christmas presents to friends' children at all? Don't they get enough stuff already? What about getting together with your frirnds, decide to put a stop to this madness, and decide on a couple of children's charities instead?

Children of Yemen, of Syria, of Palestine, of Somalia, of Afghanistan........ don't they need 'stuff' more?

jamandmarmalade · 29/10/2021 17:11

@OnceuponaRainbow18

I’m a big fan of buying second hand; try to get my kids presents and Christmas stockings from charity shops or free Facebook groups. I can afford new but don’t like buying new, mainly for environmental reasons.

I usually get my kids friends new presents but was thinking of getting them from charity shops this year, obviously would only do it if the present suits the kids, like one friends son loves trains and found a great Thomas puzzle in a charity shop.

What do people think about this?

AIBU- buy new if you can
YANBU- charity shop it

Fantastic idea

. I recently saw the beautiful wooden toys on sale i Aldi. Favourite being the cash register.

On the way home this afternoon I saw in the window of a charity shop that same cash register on sale for half the price. Barely used.

The children won't mind at all. I think it's adults that judge. Years ago I worked in a charity shop and there was so many beautiful donations. Including a wooden dolls house cost £400 new plus the wooden dolls and furniture. I sold it for around £50.

Once there's fancy bow or nice tissue paper round it it's all the magic there needs to be and none of the waste.

I think it's great OP.

halloweenqwueeeen · 29/10/2021 17:16

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@halloweenqwueeeen

Why wouldn’t you? I couldn’t imagine buying everything new- expensive and terrible for the environment.[/quote]
I just don’t like the idea of it, you don’t know what kind of life second hand items have had. I want the best for DD and I can afford it so I would just never buy second hand. I do pass a lot of her things on though and give to charity so I try do my environmental duty in other ways!

shouldistop · 29/10/2021 17:20

Me and one of my friends do this but we both know we don't mind and actively like re-using things. I wouldn't do it for someone else as I'd be worried about what they'd think. I have re-gifted some duplicate toys/Lego sets etc that my 5yo has been given though.

RitaFires · 29/10/2021 17:21

If I buy someone a present it's because I want them to be happy and enjoy what I've bought them. I think something that's obviously second hand could potentially offend or upset the receiver so it's not something I would do unless I 100% knew they had a preference for second hand stuff.

Original poster

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 29/10/2021 17:22

@RitaFires

Kids defo wouldn’t know!

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RavenclawsRoar · 29/10/2021 17:25

Yanbu. Wouldn't bother me at all. Sounds like a great idea. In fact, I have a friend who always buys second hand and she's found some absolutely amazing stuff for both kids and adults - expensive brands, quality items, would hardly know they've been used.

jamandmarmalade · 29/10/2021 17:38

@TheGirlCat

It reminds me of a saying that I can't remember exactly, something like the richer they are the tighter the penny. Or the more money the meaner or something. I cannot imagine you have a good reputation (but of course they wouldn't say it to you) and are seen as the mean and stingy relative. Christmas is not a time for second hand cheap garbage. Just don't bother buying any presents at all, that is a better look than what you are doing and using the environment as an excuse for your mean and tacky behaviour.

Santa's watching and if you don't behave he won't come to your house....

ParkheadParadise · 29/10/2021 17:40

I wouldn't buy second-hand gifts for my friend's children.

DrManhattan · 29/10/2021 17:44

You give second hand gifts but your kids get new presents from their friends?

Hmmm bet that will go down well. At least you won't have as many to buy for in 2022.

JudesBiggestFan · 29/10/2021 18:02

I've often told family to get my children toy bundles from Facebook marketplace. Say they spend 30 pounds normally, they'd still spend that, but just get much more for it! And as you say, often the stuff is still good as new. I'm on the fence really...I have one friend who I know would have the horrors at the thought of second hand toys. Family, I'd discuss the idea if I saw something. More eco-friendly friends I'd go for it if the toy was genuinely good quality. It's a judgement call only you can make!

SilverGlassHare · 29/10/2021 18:21

@RitaFires

If I buy someone a present it's because I want them to be happy and enjoy what I've bought them. I think something that's obviously second hand could potentially offend or upset the receiver so it's not something I would do unless I 100% knew they had a preference for second hand stuff.

This about summarises the issue for me. I buy a gift for someone for them to enjoy. It’s about the recipient, not me as the giver. So unless I was absolutely sure the recipient would be pleased with it, and wouldn’t mind it being secondhand, I wouldn’t.

Re Lego - I think buying a set that’s BNIB is fine, because it should have all the parts. A random bag of secondhand Lego as a gift for someone’s child, or an opened set that may have bits missing, I wouldn’t give to someone else. I might buy it for my own DC, but not as a birthday or Christmas present, just as a bonus/extra parts for his collection. Yes, it’s a rare child who just makes the set then doesn’t touch it again, but the vast majority of kids do want to make the set up properly at least once and would be frustrated not to be able to do this.