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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Distract me please - DM 'missing' abroad

160 replies

Littlebitworried7 · 28/10/2021 23:08

NC just because I post a lot and don't want it linked to my posting history.

My DM went on holiday this morning. We texted most of the taxi journey to the airport, and I last heard from her when she had boarded the plane.

The plane landed at 5pm (I have checked), and it should be a 90min taxi to the hotel, plus getting baggage and covid checks at the airport first. I expected to hear from her 2-3 hours ago.

She always texts to let me know she's arrived, shows off pics of the hotel etc. I haven't heard anything and my WhatsApp is stuck on one tick so not delivered.

Of course now I'm worried about an accident or something. Her friend who she has gone with also has some quite serious health problems, although deemed fit to fly, so wondered if something had happened with him but if she had had to go to hospital with him she would have found a way to let me know I think.

I'm supposed to be working but can't concentrate. Luckily I'm self employed so it only affects me. If any kind posters can keep me company for a while id appreciate it as I doubt I'll be able to sleep until I at least get two bloody WhatsApp ticks!

And I've disabled voting as I'm obviously BU... I'm normally pretty laid back but this is really out of character.

OP posts:
amsadandconfused · 29/10/2021 00:14

Hopefully there will be a good reason why your Mum hasn’t replied yet!

saleorbouy · 29/10/2021 00:18

Ring the hotel and ask if she checked in or a message to ask her to call.
She hardly "missing" maybe flight delayed, diverted or transport slow.
Calm down she's a grown woman who's travelled to the resort before.

Saoirse82 · 29/10/2021 00:18

I'm the same with my parents, we keep in touch a lot when travelling abroad just to update until we've arrived at the hotel safely so I understand why you're concerned that you haven't heard. I'm sure if there was something to worry about you'd have heard by now. Hope you get some sleep Flowers

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 29/10/2021 00:19

Scary, call the hotel.

Trudij123 · 29/10/2021 00:27

Hope you’re getting some sleep - fingers crossed something daft has happened and you’ll find her tomorrow x

whatwillyakkabetoday · 29/10/2021 00:32

Give a quick call to the hotel

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 29/10/2021 00:35

Good luck, OP. I’d ring the hotel — they usually have night staff to answer the phone. Otherwise, I’d have a hot drink and try to get some sleep.

Glitterblue · 29/10/2021 00:37

There's a couple of rude people on here!

I'd be exactly the same OP, my parents always keep in touch with us when they're going anywhere, and vice versa. It's worrying when it's out of character, and awful when you're at home alone. She may well be panicking about not being able to contact you, knowing you'll be worrying, if there's something wrong with the WiFi or something!

greenlynx · 29/10/2021 00:43

Hope you’ll get a message from your DM soon that she’s fine.
It could be anything: lost phone, forgotten charger. DH’s luggage was once lost and he was busy trying to sort it out in the airport so messaged me later.
Has she been abroad after Covid and Brexit? She or her friend could have some issues with passport or vaccination.

Sometime when you are in a hurry to sort things out (especially if it’s a hassle of some sort) you don’t stop even for a quick message or call as you want to get to your hotel ASAP.

Ellmau · 29/10/2021 00:44

I hope you hear good news soon, OP.

LaurenKelsey · 29/10/2021 02:16

Please let us know when you’ve heard from her and all is well. I tend to obsess about the well-being of my loved ones when they’re traveling, so I understand how you’re feeling.

StarCat2020 · 29/10/2021 03:18

What country has she gone to?

Lilolily · 29/10/2021 03:29

There really is just no reason for nasty comments is there? If you can’t be supportive just scroll on!

Hope everything’s ok OP x

Derbee · 29/10/2021 03:43

There are literally no nasty comments on the entire thread.

YukoandHiro · 29/10/2021 03:49

Any news OP? Hoping you're fast asleep because you got a message

BarbaraofSeville · 29/10/2021 04:06

The hotel might not confirm if she's there anyway. Imagine if the OP is a crazy stalker trying to track down the DM and not a loving concerned DD.

Most they will probably do is say that if they do have a guest of that name, they will pass on a message asking her to get in touch.

OP, in the kindest possible way, stop it. She's probably either tired from her journey and wants to rest, has encountered data or other phone problems, or she's busy relaxing and enjoying her holiday without being tied to her phone.

Maybe the battery went flat so she put it on charge in her room and went out for dinner and drinks and then just forgot about it when she came back and went straight to bed?

Malin52 · 29/10/2021 04:37

My parents travelled 12000 miles to see me in NZ. I ordered them a taxi to collect them an hour after landing. No message from my mum and the taxi driver called me relentlessly saying all passengers were out of arrivals. I had to let him go. Phone went straight to VM. No response to messages and one tick only on whatsapp.

3 hours later I was beside myself. 5 hours later they pitched up at my door! Baggage was delayed, huge queues at immigration and bio security and my mum couldn't get her phone to connect to the network. Re the latter no idea why not as she's done it loads of times before but I'm guessing that's exactly what's happened to your mum.

Aphrodite31 · 29/10/2021 04:46

Really, just call the hotel. Perfectly ok to do so

MilkywayMonarch22 · 29/10/2021 04:55

This was the same for my sister who has gone alone on holiday , no text or pictures and we were all worried! Turns out she's bloody forgotten her travel adapter so couldn't charge her phone ! Had to wait to get charge at the reception hotel...

Hopefully she will be in a similar predicament...or could be data issues, could be knackered from the travel and accidentally fallen asleep all day (I've done this before!)...could genuinely just be the excitement of being able to be on holiday and she's forgotten....

MissMarpleRocks · 29/10/2021 05:23

Op I hope you managed some sleep & your mum is ok.

Has she an iPhone? They have a find my friends feature. We have all the family on there, so can see where they are in situations like this.

JaffaCake70 · 29/10/2021 05:24

Please let us know when your hear some news about your Mum OP. Hope you're ok xx

Clymene · 29/10/2021 05:31

@Derbee

There are literally no nasty comments on the entire thread.
There really aren't, are there? Where are the rude, nasty comments the OP should just scroll past? Confused

Hope you're sleeping OP and everything is alright in the morning

MrsLargeEmbodied · 29/10/2021 05:49

i would go with no news is good news

Joystir59 · 29/10/2021 06:00

Well I hope very soon we have an update to the effect that your heard from her and all is well. I would be worried too OP, YANBU.

WookyBooky · 29/10/2021 06:06

Hope you're ok OP and you've been able to make contact. Think back 25 years though. No one expected to hear from people for days and days when they went abroad. The best you could hope for is a postcard that would probably arrive after they returned! Modern life and constant communication has really added to our anxieties. I say this as someone with severe anxiety and I can completely empathise.

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