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Original poster

Distract me please - DM 'missing' abroad

160 replies

Littlebitworried7 · 28/10/2021 23:08

NC just because I post a lot and don't want it linked to my posting history.

My DM went on holiday this morning. We texted most of the taxi journey to the airport, and I last heard from her when she had boarded the plane.

The plane landed at 5pm (I have checked), and it should be a 90min taxi to the hotel, plus getting baggage and covid checks at the airport first. I expected to hear from her 2-3 hours ago.

She always texts to let me know she's arrived, shows off pics of the hotel etc. I haven't heard anything and my WhatsApp is stuck on one tick so not delivered.

Of course now I'm worried about an accident or something. Her friend who she has gone with also has some quite serious health problems, although deemed fit to fly, so wondered if something had happened with him but if she had had to go to hospital with him she would have found a way to let me know I think.

I'm supposed to be working but can't concentrate. Luckily I'm self employed so it only affects me. If any kind posters can keep me company for a while id appreciate it as I doubt I'll be able to sleep until I at least get two bloody WhatsApp ticks!

And I've disabled voting as I'm obviously BU... I'm normally pretty laid back but this is really out of character.

OP posts:
TacoTues · 28/10/2021 23:30

If it's a big hotel then the desk will be manned. If it means you will get some sleep then give them a quick call.

Original poster
Littlebitworried7 · 28/10/2021 23:33

You probably think this sounds pathetic but I don't want to ring the hotel yet. What if they say they haven't checked in? Then I really won't sleep! I really would rather wait til the morning.

OP posts:
EmmaMaya · 28/10/2021 23:35

Honestly I would call hotel and check - there is no harm that I can see in doing so and you would be more settled tonight.

All families are different . . Myself and siblings have a whatapp group with our parents and we are similar to you if any one of us is travelling. Text at airport, through security, when boarded, when landed, when bags come etc ( our mums a worrier ).

I would agree it is likely a data or wifi issue but I also think its ok to call - surely your mum wouldn't mind?!

junebirthdaygirl · 28/10/2021 23:40

Could she have forgotten to bring the proper plug for charging her phone abroad? We sometimes forget and have to buy one there.
I am sure she is fine. Do you know her friends family to see 8f they have heard from him?

SpookyPumpkinPants · 28/10/2021 23:40

@Littlebitworried7

You probably think this sounds pathetic but I don't want to ring the hotel yet. What if they say they haven't checked in? Then I really won't sleep! I really would rather wait til the morning.
So, what if something has happened? You'd rather sleep better tonight and start an investigation tomorrow? That makes NO sense.

She's probably left her phone on flight mode.

BeaLola · 28/10/2021 23:43

Just ring the hotel now to put your mind at rest - it's a hotel and so there will be staff 24/7 - you don't have to be connected to her room .

Lots of likely explanations - no charge on phone, delays at airport etc

Don't stress all night

nimbuscloud · 28/10/2021 23:44

Is it her first time away since Brexit?
Would that have affected her data/roaming?

SnarkyBag · 28/10/2021 23:46

I’d say you were more likely to have heard of there was a problem but can understand why you’re worried if this isn’t usual to not hear anything.

I would probably wait until morning to ring the hotel personally but at least if you call now you’ll know for sure

Raggedyanabell · 28/10/2021 23:47

@Littlebitworried7

You probably think this sounds pathetic but I don't want to ring the hotel yet. What if they say they haven't checked in? Then I really won't sleep! I really would rather wait til the morning.
I understand where you're coming from OP. I have a very similar thing with my mum, we like to check in with and let eachother know we're safe and well.. After a health scare I asked my mum to message me in each morning so I knew she was ok Blush

If I didn't hear from her in these circumstances I would be exactly the same, unable to sleep or concentrate on other things but in reality there is usually a simple explanation and you'll hear from her soon and get a whoosh of relief 😅. I hope that happens soon so you can stop worrying 💐

scarpa · 28/10/2021 23:47

I'd wait til the morning, only cos there are so many reasons she might not have messaged yet. But if you won't sleep for worrying, call the hotel!

Derbee · 28/10/2021 23:47

I’m sure you’ll hear from her in the morning, when she realises her phone is on flight safe mode or something.

ShaneTheThird · 28/10/2021 23:50

Op I'm the same with my mom. Will you actually be able to sleep not knowing?

Original poster
Littlebitworried7 · 28/10/2021 23:50

@SpookyPumpkinPants I'm happy to admit I'm being totally avoidant and going with the 'no news is good news' approach at this point.

If there is a problem with charger/roaming/flight mode/wifi/whatever, she'll have sorted it by the time I get up in the morning.

If I still haven't heard from her, I will call the hotel first thing. We may text a lot but tbh I would be weirded out if she called my hotel to check up on me for being 3ish hours late texting.

Really wish I had some booze in the house now Wink

OP posts:
Lunde · 28/10/2021 23:50

DD2 was worried when she didn't hear from DD1 on holiday. DD1 had dropped her phone down the toilet and it sat for 3 days in a bag of Uncle Ben's rice drying out

DandyHighwayWoman · 28/10/2021 23:50

@Littlebitworried7

She never has data on abroad, but she's been to this hotel before and had no problems using the free WiFi. She'd use her tablet to send me an email if her phone had died. She would also ask to use her friend's phone if she was stuck just to let me know. That's just her way. We're not in each other's pockets or anything, she's the one who gets in touch, I don't stalk her like a PP alluded to. I do the same if I go away. That's just the way our relationship is.

It's too soon to call the hotel, although I will consider it tomorrow. As I say, it's just out of character.

It’s not too soon if you’re worried give them a call so you can put your mind at rest.
ThesecondLEM · 28/10/2021 23:51

See, I'd wait until morning too. She's only three hours late and I'm sure there are a miriad of things that could cause a three hour delay. If she's not there for any legitimate reason and her phone is on the blink you'll be climbing the walls.

Get some sleep and call in the morning.

whynotwhatknot · 28/10/2021 23:53

Maybe the hotel wifi is down so none of them can get a message to you

neededafart · 28/10/2021 23:53

You are not being unreasonable to be worried.

But I imagine there is a problem with data roaming / WiFi.

Phone died.

Maybe her charger is in luggage and luggage lost ?

I don't think you would be crazy to call the hotel.
Do you have her friends number, or any of their family ?

Original poster
Littlebitworried7 · 28/10/2021 23:55

@Raggedyanabell yeah deep down I know it's probably fine. She was quite stressed about going and didn't want to go at all tbh, because her friend isn't taking his health or diagnosis seriously. We spent many a phonecall talking it through as she said she'd love to go away, but was worried about his health taking a turn for the worse while abroad. So I think that whole thing has been in the back of my mind too.

@ShaneTheThird I'm going to try and settle down and put a trashy show on Netflix (Dynasty) and hopefully I'll drop off. To an extent there's not much I can do at this point. I would feel more comfortable giving the most obvious explanations time to play out/resolve themselves and look at calling the hotel in the morning if I haven't heard anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Littlebitworried7 · 28/10/2021 23:55

Sorry, meant to add I don't have the friends number or any of his family. I've only met him a handful of times.

OP posts:
Original poster
Littlebitworried7 · 28/10/2021 23:56

If she's not there for any legitimate reason and her phone is on the blink you'll be climbing the walls.

@ThesecondLEM you articulated my thoughts far better than me! That's exactly where my head is at the minute.

OP posts:
Yogawankonobi · 28/10/2021 23:58

I don’t think that you are being unreasonable!
But I do agree wait until tomorrow

Lougle · 28/10/2021 23:58

Why don't you try to get some sleep? If she's ok, you'll be tired for nothing, and if something has happened, you'll need some energy anyway.

EastWestWhosBest · 28/10/2021 23:58

Almost certainly caught up at the airport, can’t get a signal or has forgotten her charger.

As said upthread, no news is good news. If, and it is a huge flashing ‘if’ with bells and whistles, something had happened you most likely would have heard by now.

Emmelina · 29/10/2021 00:00

Others have also said it - but I’ve struggled to get my phone to connect to foreign networks on many occasions! If she’s not savvy enough to manually select a network she may just be out of reach for now. Her hotel will be able to patch you through to her room I expect.