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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kids having mates over when WFH

78 replies

sunshinelover69 · 27/10/2021 19:18

Don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not but husband has just told me he's said his son (14) can have a mate over tomorrow afternoon. We're both WFH, and I actually have a job interview as well. Do you let your kids have mates over in the hols when you're WFH? I kinda think he should have checked with me. I can't help thinking that two 14 yo boys are gonna struggle to keep the noise down.

OP posts:
Caterinasballerinas · 27/10/2021 19:26

Have you always WFH? Or is this still a hangover from Covid? I’m very much of the opinion that it’s yours and your families home before it’s a workplace so he should be allowed his friend. But they should be a little considerate of your particular work task being an interview.

Original poster
sunshinelover69 · 27/10/2021 19:28

I've always WFH but my husband hasn't. Don't think that really matters though - the fact is, it is my workplace. And the weekend would have been more convenient.

OP posts:
CocaColaTruck1 · 27/10/2021 19:28

Yeah I'd allow the friend over

Wrenna · 27/10/2021 19:28

At 14 I think it’s fine. Under 12 probably not.

userg5647 · 27/10/2021 19:30

Primary school kids no, but assuming 14 year olds will keep themselves to themselves? But appreciate it depends on your home set up, if you work in a public area of the house I understand your apprehension.

PiglingBlonde · 27/10/2021 19:31

I would, but my kids will either game with their friends or sit away from everyone else chatting or watching a Disney marathon.

LivingNextDoorToNorma · 27/10/2021 19:31

I wouldn’t want my 4 year old having a friend over, because the noise is enough to raise the dead. But I really can’t imagine what two 14 year olds would be doing that will be that loud? They’re certainly old enough to be reminded of the need to keep the noise down, but I think you’re probably worrying unnecessarily. Good luck with your interview!

LettertoHermoine · 27/10/2021 19:32

He's 14 not 4! He won't be dragging out the Hungry Hippo's!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/10/2021 19:33

Will your dss and his mate understand that, as both of you are wfh, and the house will need to be fairly quiet? If so, it should be fine to let him have his friend over. If not, your Dh is responsible for keeping the pair of them quiet.

Original poster
sunshinelover69 · 27/10/2021 19:33

Thanks@LivingNextDoorToNorma. I guess I've just heard how loud and animated he gets when he's gaming online with his mates, so I'm expecting the worst! But maybe it'll be ok. Would just like to have been asked first really.

OP posts:
Mylittlecoconuts · 27/10/2021 19:36

It's your workplace but it's also his home and he is on school holidays.

Get them a pizza to stick in the oven and let him have his friend over.

epponneee · 27/10/2021 19:36

If he is generally considerate, I would think they would be old enough to get on with their own thing relatively quietly and that it is probably nice to have some company while both adults are busy working

Rainallnight · 27/10/2021 19:38

I would say yes but not during the job interview. It’s more than fair that you want total peace for that.

TheChiefJo · 27/10/2021 19:39

I wouldn't mind but I'd tell DH that he is responsible for ensuring no disturbances during your job interview. Good luck with that, btw

steff13 · 27/10/2021 19:41

Due to the nature of my work I would let them most of the time. But when I have hearings we discuss people's personal information like their income or medical diagnoses, and it has to be on speakerphone. So on a day I had hearings I would say no but on a regular day where I was just writing decisions yes I would. Regardless I would expect two14 year olds to understand that they need to be quiet at least part of the time.

Darbs76 · 27/10/2021 19:42

Yes I would. I WFH and at that age they are old enough to keep the noise down if asked

MichelleScarn · 27/10/2021 19:43

I do think it's unfair as it is his home too. Where do you work, in a main room or an office?
Have the dc never been allowed friends over during school holidays?

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 27/10/2021 19:45

Hmm
My DS knows he can't have mates round while I'm working so in the holidays he meets them out during the day or if he wants to stay home and game he does that alone. After work time is fine. I'm with you on this.

amylou8 · 27/10/2021 19:46

Yes, with the caveat that they don't disturb you, and mate will be leaving if they do.

NothingIsWrong · 27/10/2021 19:51

I do some WFH (made to - I hate it) and I've told work I will not restrict what my children do in their own home so if it's noisy in the holidays they can suck it up.

I think maybe I'm in the minority here, but I never asked for my house to be a workplace and it's not set up for that. It has been horrible all round, I'm not prepared to let it impact my kids.

billy1966 · 27/10/2021 19:55

@NothingIsWrong

I do some WFH (made to - I hate it) and I've told work I will not restrict what my children do in their own home so if it's noisy in the holidays they can suck it up.

I think maybe I'm in the minority here, but I never asked for my house to be a workplace and it's not set up for that. It has been horrible all round, I'm not prepared to let it impact my kids.

Good for you.

I think some companies are extremely presumptuous in telling staff they have no choice but to continue to work from home irrespective of if they have the space or if it suits them.

MajorCarolDanvers · 27/10/2021 19:57

Both me and DH both wfh.

I know my 13 yr old and a friend could keep it down and would understand the particular need to be quiet during an interview.

My 9 year old - no chance.

So I really think it depends on your 14 year old and what they are like.

ParmigianoReggiano · 27/10/2021 19:58

Normally I'd be fine with it, I think I'd say no if I had a job interview though.

FoggySpecs · 27/10/2021 20:02

Yes, actually when they have friends over they are much better at playing. Although DS (aged 10) had five mates over and I popped my head out of my office doorand heard them yelling "Charge!" so I hid till it was time to feed them. I'm quite relaxed but I've never been into heavy supervision.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 27/10/2021 20:02

Mine are at home after school at times when I'm WFH. They know to be quiet and to amuse themselves for an hour or two. I would certainly expect 14yr olds to be able to do that.
My 4yr old cant as any "chatting" she has to appear to see who it is
When it's the interview can they go out for an hour or two? Go to a leisure centre or cinema? A walk? A cafe?