Page 2 | Kids having mates over when WFH

sunshinelover69 · 2021-10-27T18:18:32+00:00

Don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not but husband has just told me he's said his son (14) can have a mate over tomorrow afternoon. We're both WFH, and I actually have a job interview as well. Do you let your kids have mates over in the hols when you're WFH? I kinda think he should have checked with me. I can't help thinking that two 14 yo boys are gonna struggle to keep the noise down.

HanSB · 27/10/2021 20:05

14 year olds should understand the importance of being quiet whilst you are working. I would allow it and remind them both when you say hello to his friend.

FoggySpecs · 27/10/2021 20:06

Job interview I would maybe say no, but they are a bit older.

SickAndTiredAgain · 27/10/2021 20:08

Generally I’d say fine at that age. The job interview is a bit different and I wouldn’t want them around then.

Lightswitch123 · 27/10/2021 20:09

Home is home first, week second.

Kids need to have a place to relax ans invite friends to.

If you can't manage them there give them some money to go somewhere else eg cinema etc

Fdksyihfd · 27/10/2021 20:14

He should have checked with you; I let my DSD have friends over as long as I don’t have meetings where background noise might be heard

ejhhhhh · 27/10/2021 20:15

I think in this one instance, where you have a job interview, I'd say no. But, homes aren't really workplaces unless all the people who live in them are working. I think the needs of the non-working members of the household take priority I'm afraid, as everyone should have the right to a home life, and that includes having friends over in the school holidays. Therefore, I think the onus is on the person working to find an alternative work space if the two worlds cannot adequately coincide. If you've always worked from home, and the quite reasonable needs of your children can no-longer met if you continue working from home, perhaps looking at a shared office space is reasonable step forward. Your DSC can't very well rent an alternative home, and I think it's unreasonable to restrict normal activities within their home because you're working.

HikingforScenery · 27/10/2021 20:19

It’s his home too
At 14, he should be able to keep it down for a couple of hours while you do your interview.

HairyScaryMonster · 27/10/2021 20:20

I think id say no for an interview but I've got 7 under 3-7s (cousins) at home on Friday 😬 with DH WFH. we only get together in the hols so as it's always 1 of us is WFH or both away on hols, not much choice. We'll be out for some of it but not all.

Original poster

sunshinelover69 · 27/10/2021 20:24

The needs of the non working household members take priority? Erm, are said non workers paying for the house?? Odd comment.

OP posts:

RacketeerRalph · 27/10/2021 20:25

Where are you WFH? If it's on the dining table in an open plan downstairs and there's no other option for you then ok, not unreasonable. If you've got a separate office space then YABU.

mindutopia · 27/10/2021 20:26

At 14, yes, if I had private quiet space to work and wasn’t having an interview.

My school age one is 8, so no, I don’t allow it because they still need some supervision and that’s not something I can do while working.

BlueVira · 27/10/2021 20:35

Not a chance.
I kicked my own DH out of the house for a job interview.

ejhhhhh · 27/10/2021 20:36

The needs of children always take priority, because they can't provide a home for themselves. You can find an alternative work space.

penguinwithasuitcase · 27/10/2021 20:36

Part of living in a house together is learning to respect and work around one another's needs, whether that's working from home or anything else.

You can respect his right to have a friend over, and he can respect the fact that you're working by keeping the noise down / going out to the park during your interview.

And yes, your DP could have checked in with you first, since you all know you're working from home at the moment –not for permission, but just to show a bit of consideration.

ejhhhhh · 27/10/2021 20:39

What I mean to say is, I do just believe that a child's right to a home life trumps your right to turn their home into a workplace.

SparrowNest · 27/10/2021 20:39

@sunshinelover69 I don’t think their needs come first, as such, but your home really is a home first and foremost. Your stepson should be able to have a normal life, which does include having friends over sometimes. It’s reasonable to expect 14-year-olds to be considerate and keep the noise down, though.

That said, I think saying no friends in the house while you’re having a job interview would be fair enough. It’s not the same as banning them all day, five days a week. Given they’re 14, could you not send them out to the cinema or something during that period?

Lightswitch123 · 27/10/2021 20:46

@ejhhhhh

I think in this one instance, where you have a job interview, I'd say no. But, homes aren't really workplaces unless all the people who live in them are working. I think the needs of the non-working members of the household take priority I'm afraid, as everyone should have the right to a home life, and that includes having friends over in the school holidays. Therefore, I think the onus is on the person working to find an alternative work space if the two worlds cannot adequately coincide. If you've always worked from home, and the quite reasonable needs of your children can no-longer met if you continue working from home, perhaps looking at a shared office space is reasonable step forward. Your DSC can't very well rent an alternative home, and I think it's unreasonable to restrict normal activities within their home because you're working.

100% agreed.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/10/2021 20:49

Dd 13 can have friends over when I’m working - that’s fine. They don’t make a lot of noise though- well, not distracting noise like screaming at a PlayStation or something, although they do play musical instruments sometimes.

I wouldn’t really want it when I had a job interview though, so I think your DH should have checked.

Anyway, just means he’s on keeping the kids quiet and out of your way (as in listening out just in case) duty.

cooker321monster · 27/10/2021 20:52

At 14, during the day - I would say go out with your friend - expend some energy and make some noise OUTSIDE ! leave you to work in peace.

MadeOfStarStuff · 27/10/2021 21:27

At 14 I think it’s fine but make it clear they need to keep the noise down especially during the time of your interview

MajorCarolDanvers · 28/10/2021 08:29

@ejhhhhh

The needs of children always take priority, because they can't provide a home for themselves. You can find an alternative work space.

She's not evicting her child. She's concerned about him having a pal round during a job interview.

And said child needs a roof overhead which means parents need to earn a living.

I take you don't wfh?

logsonlogsoff · 28/10/2021 08:30

DCs have friends over but their old enough to be told to be quiet at certain time and obey or old enough to get kicked out to the park for important calls. Thanks god for noice cancelling headphones…

Original poster

sunshinelover69 · 28/10/2021 08:47

Unfortunately noise cancelling headphones don't cancel noise heard at the other end of a teams call!

OP posts:

cricketmum84 · 28/10/2021 09:02

I would at 14, mine would just be in their rooms with Xbox or something. They are 12 and 17 and understand that if I'm on a video call they need to stay quiet and out of the way and not interrupt me unless there is a fire.

Just make sure you set them some ground rules and remind them of the times your calls are when you need to not be disturbed?

Hoppinggreen · 28/10/2021 09:07

@sunshinelover69

Unfortunately noise cancelling headphones don't cancel noise heard at the other end of a teams call!

Yes, it actually makes them noisier because they can’t hear how loud they are being! I would probably say no during the interview to 12 year old DS (so would have to say the same to 16 year old DD to be fair) but it would be ok while I was working