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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people's kids should be able to do stuff themselves?

99 replies

Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 09:08

So I work as a PA within a company that works for UHNWI (ultra high net worth individuals) my work is probably 80% business and 20% personal. I work for the owner of the company and we work for three UHNWI. One of them has her own assistant, and the other two don't have their own and use me on occasion, so I'm not actually their assistants. Anyway, one of them has two kids who are like 24 years old (I'm 27 so they aren't a lot younger than me) and I do their travel booking, their insurance claims etc etc. I am currently covering for another PA who's boss has a 17 year old, and they've asked me to do all this stuff for the kids travel etc etc. I'm obviously not going to moan about it at work because at the end of the day, it is my job.. but AIBU to think that rich kids should learn to do shit themselves!?

OP posts:
TicTacHoh · 27/10/2021 09:12

I have late teen dsd’s and they can’t (and do not want to) do anything. They seem to think it’s a marker of love to have everyone around them run around after them. My under 10’s are more independent than the teens. Incidentally dsd’s live fairly affluently too.

SophieHatterPendragon · 27/10/2021 09:13

In the real world yes but as a fellow PA to rich individuals it’s totally normal for them and their families to have someone do all these things for them their whole lives.

Palegreenstars · 27/10/2021 09:13

Is it that they can’t or that they chose not to? I would love to be rich enough to pay someone to do all the boring ‘life admin’ tasks I cba with.

ThePoisonousMushroom · 27/10/2021 09:14

I can (and do) do all those things but if there who could do it for me I’d definitely delegate!

crayray · 27/10/2021 09:15

I think this is an issue with people in their late teens/early 20s in general. I work in HE and find that they need spoon feeding far more than I did at that age (20 years ago).

wavingwhilstdrowning · 27/10/2021 09:16

My teenagers do these things themselves.
I have a PA and frankly I'd be absolutely mortified at asking her!

EishetChayil · 27/10/2021 09:17

@TicTacHoh

I have late teen dsd’s and they can’t (and do not want to) do anything. They seem to think it’s a marker of love to have everyone around them run around after them. My under 10’s are more independent than the teens. Incidentally dsd’s live fairly affluently too.

Eh? Why can't you teach them to do stuff for themselves? Do you want to send incompetent adults into the world? I don't understand this passive attitude.

SparklyLeprechaun · 27/10/2021 09:18

It's nice to have the life skills to be self-sufficient, but I can totally see the attraction of having someone else do the boring life admin for you. These kids will probably never need to do these things for themselves, so for them learning to put in an insurance claim may be as useful as me getting a flight license.

Gizlotsmum · 27/10/2021 09:18

But why do it if you have someone paid to do it? In an ideal world they would want to and be able too but I can totally get the mind set if it being someone else’s job if that is what they are paid for ( I am assuming it is)

BananaPB · 27/10/2021 09:20

Same reason why able bodied people employ cleaners for their home. They could and know how to do it but would rather someone else did it because they'd rather do other stuff with their time.

Cranncat · 27/10/2021 09:21

I think that if this is annoying you, you might be in the wrong job, OP. Literally everything you do on the ‘personal’ side of things would normally be handled by a person themselves, but is delegated to someone else by the extremely rich.

(I mean, it would irritate the living shit out of me, too, but I know perfectly well I wouldn’t last an hour in your job.)

CakesOfVersailles · 27/10/2021 09:21

I mean, forget the kids, the UHNWI could do it all themselves. The point is they don't want to.

If I had the money I would outsource life admin too! At any age.

userg5647 · 27/10/2021 09:22

Well if I had the option to delegate my admin I would, so I don't think it's that they are inherently incapable, they just have the means to outsource like I do my cleaning.

TicTacHoh · 27/10/2021 09:23

EishetChayil

TicTacHoh
I have late teen dsd’s and they can’t (and do not want to) do anything. They seem to think it’s a marker of love to have everyone around them run around after them. My under 10’s are more independent than the teens. Incidentally dsd’s live fairly affluently too.

Eh? Why can't you teach them to do stuff for themselves? Do you want to send incompetent adults into the world? I don't understand this passive attitude.

That’s up to their mother and father, not me.

JustLyra · 27/10/2021 09:23

Surely it depends if they can’t do them or just don’t do them?

Being able to do something and happily paying to delegate it out are very different things.

One of my teens at Uni pays to have their washing and ironing done. I think that’s a waste of money, they can do it but they prefer to sacrifice something else (in this case they have a super cheap and work a extra couple of hours one shift a week).

If everyone did everything they could then many PA’s, cleaners, grass cutters, car washers etc would all be out of jobs.

WhatsWrongWithMyUsername · 27/10/2021 09:23

I see your point, but also who’s to say what life skills are essential and what aren’t?

I don’t grow my own veg, I buy it in the shop. I don’t know how to butcher an animal or prepare it, I buy it in a shop (actually I don’t, I’m vegetarian, but you know what I mean). I’m sure my farming ancestors would be horrified that I’d outsourced these things.

We’d all use someone for life admin if we could. Most of us would want our kids to have these life skills but the ultra rich probably see this as normal.

JustLyra · 27/10/2021 09:23

*super cheap phone

purpledagger · 27/10/2021 09:28

Are they capable of booking their own travel? There is a big difference between outsourcing something because you can do it yourself but can easily afford to pay someone else to do it for you and outsourcing because you don't know how to.

BeastOfBODMAS · 27/10/2021 09:31

I am a PA in a slightly related field I think, and our UHNW individuals are the ones who, embarrassingly, don’t pay our invoices because I guess they don’t know what to do with them.
I’ve had to carefully school owners/directors of multimillion £ companies in the mysteries of “forwarding to the accounts dept with a written authorisation to pay”

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 27/10/2021 09:32

Keke94LND that's a rich people non problem surely - it'll be their problem if they're ever not rich enough to pay someone else to do everything and they don't know how to. However complaining that they use a service available to them and paid for by their parents is a bit off - if booking their travel is really part of your job? If it is then it's like being their cleaner and complaining that they don't do their own cleaning tbh.

My 16 year old booked her own flights and train travel to visit family recently so of course I agree oldsr teens (let alone people in their 20s) should be able to book their own travel.

I wouldn't want to be hanging off my parents' coat like that at 24, but then presumably their parents are paying too so they're not actually being completely stupid, in their choice to remain perpetually 15...

FauxPsychic · 27/10/2021 09:41

Glad to see that this thread is going differently than the way the OP meant it. After reading the OP, I was thinking I'd read more "rich people bad, can't do their own thing, etc" posts but no...all sensible.

I think you should be happy they can't/won't (who cares?) do what you're doing, otherwise you wouldn't have a job - business or personal.

DysmalRadius · 27/10/2021 09:42

Most admin stuff is pretty easy to work out if you need to, but boring to do so worth avoiding if possible. I would outsource some of the duller, routine stuff if I had the money, in the same way that most people probably clean their own houses, but those who employ cleaners choose not to.

Original poster
Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 09:44

@Gizlotsmum

But why do it if you have someone paid to do it? In an ideal world they would want to and be able too but I can totally get the mind set if it being someone else’s job if that is what they are paid for ( I am assuming it is)
I see what you mean but tbh I'm paid to be my bosses assistant, not the kids of my bosses clients, well at least that wasn't on the job description when I started but the job has kind of evolved in to that
OP posts:
inmyslippers · 27/10/2021 09:44

If I could afford to delegate I would

coodawoodashooda · 27/10/2021 09:45

I remember watching a sleb from Corrie on I'm A Celebrity and she'd never even done her own hair.