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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think people's kids should be able to do stuff themselves?

99 replies

Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 09:08

So I work as a PA within a company that works for UHNWI (ultra high net worth individuals) my work is probably 80% business and 20% personal. I work for the owner of the company and we work for three UHNWI. One of them has her own assistant, and the other two don't have their own and use me on occasion, so I'm not actually their assistants. Anyway, one of them has two kids who are like 24 years old (I'm 27 so they aren't a lot younger than me) and I do their travel booking, their insurance claims etc etc. I am currently covering for another PA who's boss has a 17 year old, and they've asked me to do all this stuff for the kids travel etc etc. I'm obviously not going to moan about it at work because at the end of the day, it is my job.. but AIBU to think that rich kids should learn to do shit themselves!?

OP posts:

blanketg · 27/10/2021 10:37

Tbf I hate life admin & outsource a lot to my DH! 😆

PlanDeRaccordement · 27/10/2021 10:39

I don't think people are understanding my job.. I do not work for them or their families, I work for my boss who works for them (not as an assistant) I am my bosses assistant,

So you do work for these families. Generally speaking anything in your boss’ job, your boss can delegate to you as her assistant. That’s what an assistant does. You’re not peers...doing work for your boss is the purpose of being a assistant.

JustLyra · 27/10/2021 10:39

@Keke94LND

I do wonder if the responses would be the same if I hadn't said I was an assistant and just said I work for a company and stakeholders kids are asking me to do their life admin for them

Presumably the parents know the kids are using the PA’s as well so it’s just part of the job surely regardless of what level you are.

As long as you’re not contracted for 40 hours and being asked to do 40 hours for the parents and then 20 free hours for the kids it doesn’t make much difference to the day to day surely?

My kids benefit from the hoovering and cleaning that the cleaner does without paying them.

blanketg · 27/10/2021 10:40

We use a gardener, cleaner, window cleaner & handy man.

If I was rich I would love a cook, housekeeper & a PA.

Original poster

Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 10:40

@SparklyLeprechaun

I'm not quite sure what you're asking anymore. If you've got a problem with the tasks you're asked to do, you've got a right to raise it with your boss, just like the cleaner in your example. You are best placed to know if these tasks fall under the remit of your job or what the standard expectations in your line of work are.

What you've originally asked is whether young people should learn how to do things for themselves, which is a completely different question.

I can see why you're confused haha, I guess I do think that people should be able to do things themselves or at least pay for someone I do it for them themselves, I should have added that part on, I don't think that peoples assistants should extend to family members, unless ofcourse they are employed as the families assistant. It happens a lot though, my old boss's wife seemed to think I was her assistant even though she had nothing to do with the company.

OP posts:

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 27/10/2021 10:54

How does your boss feel about your time being taken up by the CFs? I think it's the sense of the entitlement that would get to me.

Brefugee · 27/10/2021 10:58

when I'm rich i will do zero life admin ever again.

covilha · 27/10/2021 10:59

I used to be a Nanny fir UHNW families and when meeting other Nannies the lack of time spent by the parents was often discussed. But if our employers changed their approach we could be out of our ( very well paid) jobs.
Yes, these young people could learn to do these things for themselves but why when their money means others can be paid to do these tasks whilst they enjoy the wealth?

MattDamon · 27/10/2021 11:01

A friend of mine married into an UHNW family. They have a family office that does all that stuff.

Without knowing exactly what your boss does for them, it does seem odd that they'd have you doing personal admin.

Gonnagetgoing · 27/10/2021 11:14

One of my ex-bosses wanted me to book her personal travel tickets, do her itineraries etc for her many personal travel breaks. I did it as I was paid to do it but was a bit as it was working for a big 4 accountants and I had other work to do. The other PA who used to work for her thought it was normal but I wondered why this boss couldn't do it herself!

Luckily it was a contract which ended.

I got slightly irked when I had to move and keep track of (and facilities messed up) her 200 plus pairs of shoes (all shoved under her desk) addiction because she was away when we had an internal office move. Dealing with lots of pairs of sweaty shoes isn't fun!

callingon · 27/10/2021 11:27

Hahaha I used to do something similar as did one of my friends after graduating - it’s mad how little control rich people have over their own lives.

Sometimes I can totally get why families don’t want to pay their gas bill/book trains etc and outsource boring aspects of their lives - but with one particular high profile family they was no reason other than sheer laziness and incompetence. They had no idea how to do the most basic life tasks (like log on to online banking). It’s infuriating as these people (this family in particular) are still presented as ‘our betters’ who have a right to their huge resources through having earned them with hard graft blah blah blah but they were essentially idiots who were completely dependent on family wealth and had zero resourcefulness of their own. When I hear the rhetoric around ‘shirking’ poor people I think about this family and how it is pure luck they are rich cos if they were poor they would have absolutely nothing going for them.

WhatsWrongWithMyUsername · 27/10/2021 11:32

Who is paying for this service? The rich parents? Or the company they work for? The company they own?

That actually might make a difference in my mind, it’s fine to pay someone to do your kid’s life admin, but if a company unrelated to the kids is paying for it then that’s a bit different. And a bit tax-dodgy. Possibly. If the parents own the company then that muddies it further.

waferingstranger · 27/10/2021 11:35

I pay lots of people to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing myself. I just don't want to do them!

Money makes the world go round.

DilemmaDelilah · 27/10/2021 11:44

We were deciding what we would spend the Euro millions on the other day. If we won hugely I would definitely have a PA to do all the boring stuff. My OH says he wouldn't want one.... but he doesn't do much of the life admin so it doesn't affect him as much 😂. Having said that, I can and do manage everything myself and I think it is important to be able to do so. (OH can do it too.... He just doesnt) If I were these young people's parents I think I would be getting them to learn how to do what needs to be done. Once they know then it doesn't really matter who does it. After all - Henry VIII had a groom of the stool to wipe his bum for him... It doesn't mean he couldn't do it for himself - just that he couldn't be arsed... 😂

fenge · 27/10/2021 11:49

When I had an assistant they did everything for me but I paid them and they were just doing their job. I'm not really sure why anyone would actively choose to do admin when there is someone else available?

Original poster

Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 11:52

@waferingstranger

I pay lots of people to do things I'm perfectly capable of doing myself. I just don't want to do them!

Money makes the world go round.

Yes but YOU pay them

OP posts:

Fink · 27/10/2021 11:54

I think it depends whether they're paying your company by the hour or by the job. If they're paying by the hour then I wouldn't see a problem with you doing their kids' admin within the time allocated to them (and, as pp have said, I would leap at the chance for someone to do this for me, not that I can't handle my own admin but that it is a boring faff and if I could afford to outsource it I would). But if they're paying a set amount to your company and this is adding things to your workload such that you have to work outside your normal hours then they need to pay someone else to do this separately and not get you to do it.

BlusteryLake · 27/10/2021 11:55

It's a well-worn cliché that the children of the ultra rich are spectacularly inept at basic life admin, precisely because someone always does it for them. I guess it's up to the family how they handle it, but if it were me I think I would insist they do some of it, even if only for a few years.

userg5647 · 27/10/2021 12:04

Yes but YOU pay them

The company pays you to keep clients happy, this is obviously keeping clients happy. It's not for you to call out unless a) you haven't got time to do it b) you think senior management aren't aware c) you feel it doesn't align with your job description in which case take it up with your manager. It's not for to "publicly" chastise the practice, do your job or challenge it to the people that are asking you to do it.

SpringRainbow · 27/10/2021 12:59

I have just spent most of this thread fantasising about the things I could outsource to someone else if only I was rich enough.

I am amazed at some of the things people pay others to do.

Oh well, back to the real world. I better get the washing out of the machine and out to dry.

MrsBobDylan · 27/10/2021 16:18

I am clearly so far down the social scale that I had no idea this sort of service even existed for rich people in highly paid jobs.

It's like a secretary in the 1970s who was expected to remember the boss's wedding anniversary and take his dry cleaning.

Fuck that. I'm no rich person's bitch and I don't think anyone should be.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 27/10/2021 16:21

Agree with others, I would love to be able to outsource the boring crappy jobs like organising travel insurance.

JustLyra · 27/10/2021 16:40

Yes but YOU pay them

Where do you draw the line?

If someone is employed by a person to do their personal admin then it wouldn’t be surprising or controversial if they asked them to do travel arrangements for 5 year old, or 10 year old. So where’s the cut off - 16? 18? 21?

Normally people take over stuff when they’re financially independent of their parents, but it’s likely with families like that the children aren’t financially independent (or encouraged to be so in many cases).

Zebradanio · 27/10/2021 16:46

How do you know they can't do these things for themselves? Maybe they don't want or need to do it as you are paid to do these things for them. I'd outsource this stuff too if I was an UHNWI. But sadly I'm not. So I have to do it all myself.

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