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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people's kids should be able to do stuff themselves?

99 replies

Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 09:08

So I work as a PA within a company that works for UHNWI (ultra high net worth individuals) my work is probably 80% business and 20% personal. I work for the owner of the company and we work for three UHNWI. One of them has her own assistant, and the other two don't have their own and use me on occasion, so I'm not actually their assistants. Anyway, one of them has two kids who are like 24 years old (I'm 27 so they aren't a lot younger than me) and I do their travel booking, their insurance claims etc etc. I am currently covering for another PA who's boss has a 17 year old, and they've asked me to do all this stuff for the kids travel etc etc. I'm obviously not going to moan about it at work because at the end of the day, it is my job.. but AIBU to think that rich kids should learn to do shit themselves!?

OP posts:
Rubyupbeat · 27/10/2021 10:13

I don't see the problem, my kids had things like this done for them and yet as soon as they left home, they were more than capable. Organised mortgages etc...

TheOccupier · 27/10/2021 10:14

This is the job though? If you're getting paid to do this work, the "kids" are effectively clients too. Should the clients also learn to cut their own hair or do their own plumbing? They probably could if they made the effort. YABU.

userg5647 · 27/10/2021 10:15

@Keke94LND but if the MD is happy for this to happen it's presumably part of keeping clients happy, then I think it's just seeing it as part of the bigger picture and offer to clients. If the MD isn't aware or it's impacting your work load detrimentally then take it up with the MD, I would say.

Hardybloodyhar · 27/10/2021 10:15

Work needs to be meaningful. Helping a busy CEO manage their life admin feels meaningful. Running around after kidults who can't arrange their own holiday feels demeaning. It's normal for the OP to feel contemptuous of people her own age who've achieved nothing yet feel entitled to delegate to hired help.

Original poster
Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 10:16

@TheOccupier

This is the job though? If you're getting paid to do this work, the "kids" are effectively clients too. Should the clients also learn to cut their own hair or do their own plumbing? They probably could if they made the effort. YABU.
I don't think people are understanding my job.. I do not work for them or their families, I work for my boss who works for them (not as an assistant) I am my bosses assistant, they are shareholders of the company I work for
OP posts:
Original poster
Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 10:16

Sorry I meant stakeholders not shareholders

OP posts:
userg5647 · 27/10/2021 10:17

@Keke94LND but is your boss happy for you to do this?? If so, it is now part of your job.

Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 27/10/2021 10:17

I have tried for 3 days to connect my printer to my laptop. I would absolutely pay someone to do that shut for me! And navigate insurance claims, and just general life admin.

But I do agree with you, OP. Had I the means to pay someone to the point that I was totally clueless at life admin, well, I’d be totally clueless at life admin.

userg5647 · 27/10/2021 10:19

@Hardybloodyhar client management is also important, if this keeps clients happy then OP needs to look at the bigger picture, it's not about booking a flight for a client's child, it's about appeasing the client and keeping their business.

Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 27/10/2021 10:19

[quote userg5647]@Keke94LND but is your boss happy for you to do this?? If so, it is now part of your job.[/quote]
But what she said in the OP. Literally.

Original poster
Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 10:19

[quote userg5647]@Keke94LND but is your boss happy for you to do this?? If so, it is now part of your job.[/quote]
Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but I don't think people have to do things just because their boss is happy for them too, we aren't slaves to our bosses? I don't know what you do for work but if you aren't an assistant and your boss asked you to bring them tea every morning, would you be happy to do that or would you say that's not my job?

OP posts:
Original poster
Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 10:21

[quote userg5647]@Hardybloodyhar client management is also important, if this keeps clients happy then OP needs to look at the bigger picture, it's not about booking a flight for a client's child, it's about appeasing the client and keeping their business. [/quote]
Yeah the reason I do it with a smile on my face is for this reason, but I do also think in my head that they should do it themselves or they should pay people to do it

OP posts:
ThePoisonousMushroom · 27/10/2021 10:22

Have you spoken to your boss about it?

userg5647 · 27/10/2021 10:22

@Keke94LND I don't work with clients. I am public sector so I can play the tax payer card (ie it's not reasonable for tax payers to pay for the management of non-employees). In the private sector it's different, you're working in a profit industry and the clients are presumably a part of your profit. If you don't like it you need to take it up with the boss, but I suspect they will tell you to look at the bigger picture.

LynetteScavo · 27/10/2021 10:22

The real question is are you doing the equivalent of cleaning the the adults child's bedroom in the parents house, or are you doing the equivalent of cleaning a whole different house that the adult child lives in?

It would be perfectly reasonable to ask you to occasionally clean the adult child's bedroom, but not go round to their house and clean there.

Of course people can book their own travel, but even bog standard people with normal jobs have people book their work travel for them.

Daughterpanic · 27/10/2021 10:22

Lots of rich kids are self sufficient and lots of poor ones arnt?

Sometimes richer parents just hand out money so they don't have to do anything with their dc

user1497207191 · 27/10/2021 10:23

It's not just "super rich". I have a few clients who are current (or retired) hospital consultants and they get their medical secretaries (on NHS payroll) to do their "life admin", i.e. book holidays, pick up dry cleaning, pay household bills and do their personal financial admin (book-keeping/admin for their private work, personal tax return paperwork etc etc). The ones who are retired really struggle when they've no longer got a secretary to do it for them

Original poster
Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 10:23

I do wonder if the responses would be the same if I hadn't said I was an assistant and just said I work for a company and stakeholders kids are asking me to do their life admin for them

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/10/2021 10:25

You’re conflating different issues. You started saying rich kids should be able to do stuff for themselves. You don’t know they can’t. And from their perspective why should they when their parents don’t and possibly haven’t taught them.

You’re really complaining about the job not being what you were told and that’s fine, but different, and up to you to tackle with your boss.

Original poster
Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 10:25

@user1497207191

It's not just "super rich". I have a few clients who are current (or retired) hospital consultants and they get their medical secretaries (on NHS payroll) to do their "life admin", i.e. book holidays, pick up dry cleaning, pay household bills and do their personal financial admin (book-keeping/admin for their private work, personal tax return paperwork etc etc). The ones who are retired really struggle when they've no longer got a secretary to do it for them
This is absolutely ridiculous considering their secretaries work for the NHS and not the individual doctors
OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/10/2021 10:26

@Keke94LND

I do wonder if the responses would be the same if I hadn't said I was an assistant and just said I work for a company and stakeholders kids are asking me to do their life admin for them
Yes of course they would. Your job is literally to assist with stuff like admin.
Original poster
Keke94LND · 27/10/2021 10:27

@AnneLovesGilbert

You’re conflating different issues. You started saying rich kids should be able to do stuff for themselves. You don’t know they can’t. And from their perspective why should they when their parents don’t and possibly haven’t taught them.

You’re really complaining about the job not being what you were told and that’s fine, but different, and up to you to tackle with your boss.

I didn't really say rich kids though, I said peoples kids, it just happens that these kids happen to be rich, I'd say the same about anyones kids, rich or poor, but I wouldn't think poor peoples kids have the means to get someone else's assistant to do things for them
OP posts:
SparklyLeprechaun · 27/10/2021 10:31

I'm not quite sure what you're asking anymore. If you've got a problem with the tasks you're asked to do, you've got a right to raise it with your boss, just like the cleaner in your example. You are best placed to know if these tasks fall under the remit of your job or what the standard expectations in your line of work are.

What you've originally asked is whether young people should learn how to do things for themselves, which is a completely different question.

prsphne · 27/10/2021 10:32

I deal with UHNWs in my job too, and it’s not just teens. It goes on into their 30s. I often need to request financial records and the kids have no idea and will refer me back to
Mum and Dad, or Mum and Dad’s PA/family office.

I’ve always just taken it as a privilege of being wealthy enough they don’t need to spend time on life admin the way the vast majority of us do!

PlanDeRaccordement · 27/10/2021 10:36

Honestly UHNWI are vulnerable to kidnapping and ransom plots, or even assassination plots by family who want to “inherit” from their death. So I don’t really agree with you that travel arrangements, security and so on should be done by them themselves. They might know how to do it like a regular person, but for their own safety and insurance reasons they’re required to have such things done professionally and to pay for it!