Story repeaters

[NigellaSeed]

DP always repeats the same things. Long, extensive critiques of why a film or TV show was in his opinion fantastic or terrible. Its thoughtful and sometimes interesting (the first time you hear it) but it's looong. We been together years so it's part and parcel that I hear the same stories or opinions over and over.

But the thing is, he tells it all to his parents, and they're his captive audience, as if they've never heard it before.. But hes already told them like 6 months ago. And then the year before that too. It starts the exact same discussion with no new ideas. I find it so dull and usually kills the night for me.

I'm not the worlds best dinner guest but I can remember what I've said to someone and what they've already told me. All three of them are extremely bright and have so many interests (nature, tech, travel etc etc) but sometimes I just think they're so boring.

I try and steer things into a new direction but sometimes I can't get a word in.

Yabu - it's normal to have the same conversation over and over, just smile and look like you're having a good time

Yanbu - you can go to bed early and complain to wise MNtters

Oh god I have this all the time. My parents have standard topics. They start broadcasting their story/opinion and it's like a scripted piece, each knows their part. It doesnt matter if I say "yeah you told me yesterday" cos once started they MUST finish.

My dad actually closes his eyes when he tells his, blocking out the audience, it's like it doesnt really matter who is hearing it, as long as he can air it.

The topics themselves are mostly self congratulatory observations on how fortunate they are to own things.

Urgh that sounds so self indulgent. I can just imagine staring into the fireplace until it's over

I think if I pointed out that theme all had this exact conversation before they'd be really hurt and embarrassed, I genuinely think they don't remember

*that they all had

My mum does this all the time. I just go along with it and pretend she’s not told me this same story a hundred times already because it often feels like she’s just saying it for herself rather than an audience and its kinder to just smile and nod than to call her out on it

I definitely need to work on my smiling and nodding

Its definitely a parent thing, like a PP said my parents will retell the same story with the same parts and reactions each time, I often wonder what the other would do if they changed any of the details!

My dad does this! When he starts, me and my siblings start leaving the room and leave our partners there to smile and nod politely. It's great fun.

My DP is 30!

My oh does this sometimes when he’s a bit drunk. I’m past the point of indulging him so now immediately say in front of his hostages ‘yes Mr Winnie, you’ve already told them’. This makes it clear that it’s not just me and he’s actually boring the tits off our family/friends too.

Lol at the hostage comment!

It reminded me of my late father who was exactly the same - he even used to pick up hitchhikers just so that he'd have a captive audience to tell his boring stories too!

You’re not alone OP🤣 just last weekend I had to endure one of the parents in my dc sports group telling me the same story of his own sporting achievements as he’d told me the previous week. I’m a good listener so remembered it straight away, so had to repeat my ‘well done you’ smile and “really?”comments. He’s reasonably young too, so no excuse down to age (though if that was his chat up patter then it certainly didn’t work on me🤣).

My father in law has told me various stories at LEAST 18 times in the 20 or so years I’ve known him.

Zzzzzz I also do an awful lot of smiling and nodding and usually choose that opportune moment to go do the washing up and leave DH to it

My mother in law can remember any slight anybody has ever done or said against her but doesn’t remember telling us about it on numerous occasions before. She told us the same story three times in three hours one day. I just ‘smile and wave’ but DH loudly points out “yes mother you’ve already told us”. It doesn’t seem to stop her though and she usually finishes it. And she’s in full use of her faculties.

My FIL does this ALL THE TIME and his children all behave as if they've never heard the story before, I find it mind boggling.

This is normal with elderly people. But I see you are talking about your DP and he has been like this for a long while. That is not okay.

My dad does this, but he cant genuinely remember that he has already told you stuff, his memory is very poor.

@Hoolihan his children may know it is down to memory issues so are being kind. I pretend at times I haven't heard the story from my dad before. It is just a kindness.

I've been waiting patiently for 11 fucking years for someone else to say this happens to them! My lovely MIL told me about her pregnancy, birth, post natal experience, hospital, breastfeeding etc but it's a script, she repeats the story word for word as though it was yesterday but my husband is now 35 she honestly doesn't think that she has told me the stories before but when she gets stuck on a part I can fill in the gaps for her it can be a bit of a headfuck around the Christmas dinner table when Nan, FIL and MIL all repeat their stories and it feels like groundhog day but there's something pleasantly soothing about knowing what they'll say.
If I try to change the subject they carry on as if I didn't say anything, it's like magic really.

My father does this. He’s now in his seventies, but he’s been doing this since I was a small child and he was in his early 30s, so it’s not a memory thing. I’ve always suspected he’s neurodivergent, but don’t know if it’s related. He also has form for not appearing to realise that strangers met in a car park do not want to hear a monologue about radio transmitters or his dentist for 20 minutes.

My FIL is like this! He used to tell stories about his wayward youth which were interesting at least, but since he retired and got put in charge of grocery shopping, all the stories are about supermarkets.

Which supermarkets are the best for which items, where you can find specials on what day, and how to get to the supermarkets/where they are in relation to each other. When they moved to France, the obsession went into overdrive as he figured out the different qualities of Intermarche vs Super U.

He doesn't care if you are listening or not. I have no patience and have to leave the room, I just can't deal with it.

I think it’s worse at the moment because we haven’t been going out so much or doing new things to make new memories ( - not envy. Can’t believe I actually used that nauseating phrase in a serious sentence)

After meeting up with family for the first time in ages, it was the same damn stories as told at my father’s milestone birthday… 2 years ago… and sadly it was not just the antiques doing this!

I can do this at times. I'm going but have memory issues. Luckily my partner tells me kindly in a way which doesn't embarrass me and did so even prior to learning of these issues.

This drives me nuts. I realise it’s more common in older people, but surely when young people do it, it isn’t a memory problem? Is it that they are a bit obsessed with the story they’re telling and feel the need to tell it again and again, because they find it so enthralling themselves?

I'm 60 and my brother is 70 and we both bring up the same childhood stories over and over, and we both know already because we were both there at the time. It's just reminiscing and bonding. We can empty a room in 10 seconds flat.

my dad is actually closing his eyes...blocking out his audience

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I was gathering my thoughts to post something but this one....yeah, I'm done

Unless he's got dementia tell him to shut his self indulgent gob up.
How absolutely tedious.
I used to date an indulged manchild like this.
Indulgent parents nodding enthusiastically through these monotonous monologues of his week.
An uneventful rambling of complete drivel.

I escaped.