Story repeaters

[NigellaSeed]

DP always repeats the same things. Long, extensive critiques of why a film or TV show was in his opinion fantastic or terrible. Its thoughtful and sometimes interesting (the first time you hear it) but it's looong. We been together years so it's part and parcel that I hear the same stories or opinions over and over.

But the thing is, he tells it all to his parents, and they're his captive audience, as if they've never heard it before.. But hes already told them like 6 months ago. And then the year before that too. It starts the exact same discussion with no new ideas. I find it so dull and usually kills the night for me.

I'm not the worlds best dinner guest but I can remember what I've said to someone and what they've already told me. All three of them are extremely bright and have so many interests (nature, tech, travel etc etc) but sometimes I just think they're so boring.

I try and steer things into a new direction but sometimes I can't get a word in.

Yabu - it's normal to have the same conversation over and over, just smile and look like you're having a good time

Yanbu - you can go to bed early and complain to wise MNtters

@SweetMaryHell

My mum does this and always has. The thing is as she’s never worked and doesn’t socialise her stories tend to be very mundane events that most people just wouldn’t remember. Here are a few of her favourites:

A large spider walked across her living room floor around 10 years ago. Step sister threw a catalogue at it. It missed.

My uncle said he couldn’t find a decent pillow anywhere (around 15 years ago).

About 7 years ago my mum got on a bus and the driver dropped his change down the side of his chair. He responded with the comment “it’s not my day today”.

These stories are drawn out with acting and “comical” impressions but the story remains the same and are told at least once a month,?for years and years …

Can it get more boring than these examples? Give us some more.

My brother is like is - he's in his thirties. Everything in a pre-prepared script format, like he's told it a hundred times. 6 months later, word for word the same. Surely he knows he's said it to me because I didn't even feign interest the first time!

My Dad got like it later in life, but in fairness he had an interesting professional life and had to retire with ill health, so I didn't really mind - he was happy regaling, sort of living in the past, and it would have hurt his pride to be told to shut up.

But when they're doing it about films/TV shows I just switch off and make a mental note to try not to bring it up again...

My mum does this a bit - she says that her argument is that she lives alone and she doesn't always remember what she's told me and what she's told others. Which I suppose is fair.

Both my mum and a friend like to talk about books they've read or TV programmes they've seen in great detail (or in the case of my mum a radio drama she listened to). I will say "oh I saw x programme and it was about y". Done - 30 seconds at most. They'll be talking about it from start to finish for about 10 minutes.

That said, apparently you get on in life more if you talk in detail about things. Those of us who make our point and shut up, don't. See the book "Why men win at work" for more!

My dad does this. He's a sensitive soul and never been very sociable. So when my mum tries to cut him off in an annoyed way telling him he's been telling the story for years I chuckle and recount some of the story so he can finish it off. We then have a little laugh together when he's finished. There are lots of stories so there is a variety 😊(even if I have been listening to them on rotation for 30 odd years).

I will add they're not boring stories though and people who hear them for the first time do find them amusing.

My mil did this, same story 3 times in 3 hours. I think it was a precursor to dementia. My mother is start to do it, I keep stopping her and telling her she told me. I don’t see why 8 should have to put up with it, probably horrible of me, but hey, life’s too short and she is otherwise perfectly fine.

@Muchuseaschocolateteapot

My mother in law can remember any slight anybody has ever done or said against her but doesn’t remember telling us about it on numerous occasions before. She told us the same story three times in three hours one day. I just ‘smile and wave’ but DH loudly points out “yes mother you’ve already told us”. It doesn’t seem to stop her though and she usually finishes it. And she’s in full use of her faculties.

OMG we must be sister-in-laws. I come away from a visit to IL's just emotionally drained. The negativity just depletes me.

If I try to change the subject she'll just relentlessly drone on. I have recently refused to listen if the subject matter is especially awful- she has this weird obsession about her nieces' children.

@Mookie81

😂 bless her - there’s the story of how our Labrador ran after the milk man around 35 years ago

The story of how her sister called her fatty because she wouldn’t let her put her records on (around 60 years ago)

The story of how she slapped a yogurt lid on my dads arm (around 40 years ago - must admit I do find this one amusing)

And my personal favourite which I don’t mind her repeating … the time she was drunk on Malibu and deliberately batted a tray of sausage rolls out of my uncles hands at an army do. She was made to help clean up the mess 😂

@GillBiggeloesHair snap!
My mother is v similar. She repeats pretty boring stories endlessly & she gives huge amounts of needless detail about the lives of neighbours & people I don't know.

Always with a judgemental / negative slant.

She has v few interests & virtually no social life but never did..She had lots of opportunities over the years but gave them all up one by one as she just couldn't be bothered.

The thing that makes me sad is how she can recount stories from her childhood in excruciating detail in a monologue (Christmas dinner being her prime event for this) and when dh asked her to tell him something about my childhood she couldn't remember (She was banging on for the umpteenth time about how they'd no money growing up & her parents gave her a doll. Dh asked her what she thought my best Christmas present was as a child & she was genuinely flummoxed! And she got it wrong- she named a toy I'd never received)

She's fit & healthy & has no memory loss. She's just unaware of how much she repeats herself.

It's great when they forget parts of their own stories and you can chip in and remind them because you've heard them so often.

My BIL tells the longest, most rambling stories in minute detail and can repeat them verbatim to anyone trapped with him. He must have the memory of an elephant. MY DC call him Uncle Chloroform

I have started doing this. I particularly don't remember which DD I've told things to, so one will get a story twice, and the other not at all.

I'm grateful when someone gently points out that they've heard something before. It's fine by me for people to interrupt gently and say, "oh yes, you mentioned that.."

Now I'll often say, "did I tell you about...?" or "tell me if you heard this already...", because I really don't want to embarrass myself, and I don't want people mocking me for it behind my back, having pretended they hadn't heard it at the time.

@NalPolishRemover sounds exactly like my Mum.
No interests, no hobbies and only a few friends. She doesn't talk to my brother very much so I get it all.

My MIL does this, except that she retells you a story that you’ve literally just heard from someone

Ie we were out for lunch with SIL, SIL tells us a story about her car breaking down. In the car on the way home, MIL then tells us the story as though it’s somehow her own story that she was party to and we haven’t possibly heard before. I want to scream “WE WERE LITERALLY THERE WITH YOU LISTENING TO THE SAME STORY AT THE SAME TIME”

It’s so weird!!

My DH and I can be like this so we chatted about it and it turns out I sometimes do the repeating thing too. So now we have a little saying if either of us are doing it. It’s working well although not a nice feeling when you realise you are repeating but it at least I don’t relisten to any of my DH’s stories.

My DH has always done this. When we first met I was too polite to tell him but now I just say ‘yeah you’ve told us this before, at least twice’ and he stops. Not arsed if it’s rude, I can’t be bothered listening to the same long winded story again.

My husband does this and gets slightly grumpy when I tell him, but it has to be done. His stories are at least ones about good times and were interesting the first time around. My mum is absolutely terrible for it, and hers are usually long, bitter monologues about the time she was wronged. She has been wronged a lot, but only has one story about each relative, because she doesn’t do second chances.

Ugh. I'm another one with a DM who does this! If I try and interrupt she'll just talk faster to try and get the whole story out before someone starts changing the subject! Occasionally she'll act all hurt and say something like "Oh, I'm sorry - I'm SO boring and repetitive!" I just think to myself "Yes, you are!" She's only 64, has a partner, still works part time, so has plenty to people to talk to! She definitely doesn't have any dementia or Alzheimer's.

On the other side of the coin, I'll remind her we've got such and such booked for tomorrow and she'll totally deny that I've told her about it (despite it being written in her diary in her handwriting!) or she'll text me from a café asking where I am, as we'd arranged to meet for lunch and it turns out she has totally forgotten to invite me... She seems to think about having the conversation with someone, then it's almost as if that task gets ticked off in her brain, so she doesn't need to do anything else about it!

Not sure how I'd cope if it was my DH who was like this, as in my situation it's my DH who I turn to to roll my eyes at when my DM starts!

Haha OP, I totally get you. I saw you posted that you say "heard it!" to your DH - try "skip to the end!" next time 🤣

My DH is fractionally like this. To the point where he'll repeat little stories, I say "you've told me that three times now" or we'll be watching a film and he's always saying things like "oh so that guy is the same guy on this programme that you never watched"......SO!! Lol

I think my problem is that I need the other people in the room to start saying "heard it!". Or I need to take up drinking

@SweetMaryHell

My mum does this and always has. The thing is as she’s never worked and doesn’t socialise her stories tend to be very mundane events that most people just wouldn’t remember. Here are a few of her favourites:

A large spider walked across her living room floor around 10 years ago. Step sister threw a catalogue at it. It missed.

My uncle said he couldn’t find a decent pillow anywhere (around 15 years ago).

About 7 years ago my mum got on a bus and the driver dropped his change down the side of his chair. He responded with the comment “it’s not my day today”.

These stories are drawn out with acting and “comical” impressions but the story remains the same and are told at least once a month,?for years and years …

JMJ& the wee donkey!!!! I work PT and DH is retired. I often play with the idea of retiring but this is what would frighten me.

I'll stay working.

@NigellaSeed

I think my problem is that I need the other people in the room to start saying "heard it!". Or I need to take up drinking

Yes, you need everyone on the same page saying it in unison! Another thing my DH does is literally as we have guests leaving the house, in the porch with the front door open, we've said our goodbyes and he begins telling a story 🤦🏻‍♀️ I have to say "read the room and let the poor people leave!!" Haha

I'm afraid I'm guilty.
Sometimes DH will have a glazed expression and I say, 'I'm repeating myself, aren't I?'
I also say mid story to someone 'I've told you this before' and there's a surprised 'No'. I forget who I've told the story to.

My husband does this, he's only 35. I sometimes just cut him off if he's clearly boring friends who've heard it before. How does he not remember?

It's quite funny, except that my father in law does it too, and everyone is too polite to cut him off, so I've had to sit through the same bloody stories (which were not interesting the first time) for ten years.

Oh god, this is what my husband is going to become, isn't it?

@SweetMaryHell

My mum does this and always has. The thing is as she’s never worked and doesn’t socialise her stories tend to be very mundane events that most people just wouldn’t remember. Here are a few of her favourites:

A large spider walked across her living room floor around 10 years ago. Step sister threw a catalogue at it. It missed.

My uncle said he couldn’t find a decent pillow anywhere (around 15 years ago).

About 7 years ago my mum got on a bus and the driver dropped his change down the side of his chair. He responded with the comment “it’s not my day today”.

These stories are drawn out with acting and “comical” impressions but the story remains the same and are told at least once a month,?for years and years …

Oh god this is just like my father in law, except he has worked all his life in front line healthcare and therefore surely must have some brilliant anecdotes. All we get is tedious, drawn-out stories about nothing at all.

The weird thing is that after a visit or a call from the in-laws, in which nothing of interest was discussed or revealed, we'll chat to other relatives who will tell us a really funny or interesting story that happened to the in-laws. Why aren't my in-laws telling people their actual good stories, instead of repeating the same utterly tedious ones over and over? It's bizarre.