To have ended this because I thought he was cheating?

[Shortnstresssed]

I got together with my boyfriend in July this year. It’s not been the easiest relationship and we’ve had a lot of bumps along the road.

About a month or so ago he became quite distant with me for no reason. I asked when we should do something next and he said he’d let me know... but he didn’t. We didn’t actually speak for 2 weeks.

After those two weeks we started talking again and he invited me around to his after a night out. When I got there I noticed his room was fairly messy. His bed is right up against his window sill and I noticed that there was a condom packet that was empty. At the time, we weren’t using condoms. Also I hadn’t been there for over a month... it felt weird.

He said that he used it for a “posh wank” which I don’t really believe. He said it wasn’t his job to convince me.

After that I just seemed to have zero trust for him. Reasons include

1. Talking about getting STI checks even when we were exclusive and had got one at the beginning of the relationship. When I asked him why he said “why can’t I check myself and keep myself healthy?” It just seemed odd that he decided to get that after 3 months of just sleeping with me?

1. Wouldn’t follow me on social media until we had a massive argument. It took him 4 months to do it. When I did it was just full of local girls and he liked all their pictures

1. Going MIA on nights out and not contacting me from like 7pm some nights for no reason

1. Always being busy with travelling to various family members for days on end

1. We had an argument because a girl texted him. Not a friend. Someone he just met. He said “I don’t want you to think anything of a few people texting me”

I’m really sad because that condom thing triggered something in me which didn’t believe a word he said. He kept saying he had fallen for me etc... but it always played on my mind. Also he would say things like “I’ve sabotaged our relationship and it wasn’t worth it”

I broke things off a few days ago but I can’t help but think I’m overreacting. We spoke about the break up and he was horrible. He let me talk about all my insecurities and just said I’m half wanting you and half wanting to just leave it. He also said it wasn’t his fault he got attention from girls... “people assume because I’m so good looking girls throw themselves at me”.

AIBU to assume he was cheating? Is there another explanation for it all. He said I was needy and insecure

Cheating.

Run girl run

Way too many red flags here

It’s been what, 3months? Walk away. He really isn’t worth the aggravation!
(Posh wank.. that’s a good one!)

You know the answer to this, deep down. You're right, btw.

He sounds like a complete and utter dick, you're well rid of him, now block him on everything and do not take him back, you'll meet someone 100% nicer.

He does not sound like a keeper.

Good for you for listening to your instincts.

Oh and get that STI check just to be in safe side

Yeah, he’s definitely cheating.

Right, you need to work on why are you doubting yourself? You should not question your own gut feeling, or you may find yourself in serious trouble in future.

1. Relationship was a bit troublesome after just a short time
2. Two weeks of no contact!?
3. Condom

Run! It is not worthy. It is not working, and it does soind like he got himself busy with someone else during those two weeks, sexual or not, it does not matter.

1. Wouldn’t follow me on social media until we had a massive argument. It took him 4 months to do it. When I did it was just full of local girls and he liked all their pictures how old are you?

1. Going MIA on nights out and not contacting me from like 7pm some nights for no reason again, how old are you?? He's out, why does he need to contact you?

1. We had an argument because a girl texted him. Not a friend. Someone he just met. He said “I don’t want you to think anything of a few people texting me” ????

Its been 3 month, if its this hard now what do you think it will be like in 3 years?

You won't even remember this fool's name ten years from now.

Step away from him!

How can it have taken him 4 months to follow you on social media if you’ve been together since July? Or did you mean July last year? Either way it doesn’t sound like a relationship, it sounds like you’re the girl he calls when he doesn’t manage to pull on a night out. Forget him and raise your standards

We’ve been dating since May. I asked him to follow me in June... he made some excuse like he didn’t want me to “stalk” him or he was respecting my privacy.

AIBU to assume he was cheating?

Assume?!

Your first sentence sums this up. If it’s that difficult after 3 months then it’s not going to last. Give it up. You shouldn’t be having bumps in the road after a few weeks.

He ignored you for 2 weeks?
And you just meekly carried on as normal when he decided to finally get back in touch?
He should be dumped for this alone

@Shortnstresssed

We’ve been dating since May. I asked him to follow me in June... he made some excuse like he didn’t want me to “stalk” him or he was respecting my privacy.

This is way too short a relationship for so many red flags. Dump him and find someone more worth your time

Oh my good lord girl

RUN AND DONT STOP RUNNING.

He isn't in a relationship with you. You may be with him but he isn't with you.

Sit and think ' can I see myself with this guy in a year? Five? Ten? Marrying him? Having kids? Buying a house? Him supporting me if I get ill?'

No? RUN

Fuck me. July THIS YEAR?!? Nah. Well rid and you probably need to have a think about why you’re prepared to put up with this shit and why you get into this teenage bollocks

Really, you wrote all of that out and are still thinking "hmm should I stay with him??" Come on OP.

Follow your gut. I wish I had because it has always been right.

I don’t know why I let my friends convince me I was overreacting. He made out he really liked me and I just kept changing my mind even though my gut was screaming at me

Are you very young? You sound it.

You really really dont need this in your life. Honestly, it's not worth the time it wasted. There seems to be this dynamic of women wanting to be the "cool girlfriend" when really, they're being treated like shit. Ignore your friends. They sound the same vein as that.

He was a waster. After a few months, it should still just be fun. This isnt. It sounds tiresome and headed for failure. Do not waste your time.

Get an sti check. And in future don't be so quick to ditch the condoms. If you're using the pill, then it's only around 93% effective at stopping pregnancy in real life - would you really want a child with a man you barely know?

He’s cheating. I’d bet my last penny on it.

Even without the condom thing, I’d have dumped him for a single one of the other things you’ve listed.

He’s a gaslighting vain piece of shit.

You made the right decision. Please block and delete and never get lured by him again.

I broke things off a few days ago but I can’t help but think I’m overreacting.

You’ve only been with him since May! Honestly relationships shouldn’t be this difficult. The first few months should be the honeymoon phase and the best it will ever get.
If you have any concerns in the honeymoon period then just split up and stop wasting your time.