To have ended this because I thought he was cheating?

[Shortnstresssed]

I got together with my boyfriend in July this year. It’s not been the easiest relationship and we’ve had a lot of bumps along the road.

About a month or so ago he became quite distant with me for no reason. I asked when we should do something next and he said he’d let me know... but he didn’t. We didn’t actually speak for 2 weeks.

After those two weeks we started talking again and he invited me around to his after a night out. When I got there I noticed his room was fairly messy. His bed is right up against his window sill and I noticed that there was a condom packet that was empty. At the time, we weren’t using condoms. Also I hadn’t been there for over a month... it felt weird.

He said that he used it for a “posh wank” which I don’t really believe. He said it wasn’t his job to convince me.

After that I just seemed to have zero trust for him. Reasons include

1. Talking about getting STI checks even when we were exclusive and had got one at the beginning of the relationship. When I asked him why he said “why can’t I check myself and keep myself healthy?” It just seemed odd that he decided to get that after 3 months of just sleeping with me?

1. Wouldn’t follow me on social media until we had a massive argument. It took him 4 months to do it. When I did it was just full of local girls and he liked all their pictures

1. Going MIA on nights out and not contacting me from like 7pm some nights for no reason

1. Always being busy with travelling to various family members for days on end

1. We had an argument because a girl texted him. Not a friend. Someone he just met. He said “I don’t want you to think anything of a few people texting me”

I’m really sad because that condom thing triggered something in me which didn’t believe a word he said. He kept saying he had fallen for me etc... but it always played on my mind. Also he would say things like “I’ve sabotaged our relationship and it wasn’t worth it”

I broke things off a few days ago but I can’t help but think I’m overreacting. We spoke about the break up and he was horrible. He let me talk about all my insecurities and just said I’m half wanting you and half wanting to just leave it. He also said it wasn’t his fault he got attention from girls... “people assume because I’m so good looking girls throw themselves at me”.

AIBU to assume he was cheating? Is there another explanation for it all. He said I was needy and insecure

The hills are that way.

@ScienceSensibility - I totally agree, wise words indeed @spotcheck!

Yeah it does feel like I was his dirty little secret. There’s more when I think about it. Only in the last few weeks has he not made a fuss about me coming to his. I suppose because his flatmates will see me. At the start it was always his, but this abruptly stopped.He always wanted to come to mine, but towards the end I refused.

Anything nice was initiated by me... date nights or whatever. I think the only genuinely nice thing he did was get me a birthday present, but not exactly an out the blue thing is it.

I’m annoyed with myself I disclosed my insecurities to him, I bet he loved it.

There’s so much more I turned a blind eye to, or was convinced too. He acted like a teenage boy about sex

He’s blocked and deleted. Have to see him in work at some point but I’ll just ignore.

Forget the cheating. He sounds a complete self absorbed anus.

Oh and “regardless of the type of women I follow on Instagram, I chose to speak to you.”

Wow, thanks

Get rid.You can do way better than this!I wouldn't let a sewer rat date that!what a nasty piece of work he is.
Please,move onwards,you will find happiness elsewhere.🌈

I hope you stick to your guns? He's dreadful.

You haven't wasted your time. Your bar will be much higher next time. And the flags more obvious.