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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how I mentally accept this mistake?

130 replies

idiotgeorge · 26/10/2021 17:00

I made a really costly mistake because I was stressed and didn’t check something carefully before I booked it. I’m talking 1000s. It won’t leave me impoverished or anything but will make a massive dent in my savings.

I’m hoping the company in question will take pity but let’s say they don’t…

I’m looking for some good ‘mantras’ for just accepting this and moving on. I’m completely devastated but I don’t want to be overwhelmed with this feeling for too long. How do I swallow it and move on and not be filled with regret?

OP posts:
secretbookcase · 26/10/2021 22:26

You could try some abundance meditations to remind you that money will keep flowing into your life and you can easily recoup it. Money isn't finite.

Another thing you can do is start really noticing how often you are given things. When I write down free things I am amazed at how often I receive them and even take them for granted, from small presents from friends and neighbours to corporate handouts etc. Maybe mentally you could offset them, if that makes any sense.

But good luck with getting your money back too.

Mamamovingnorth · 26/10/2021 22:34

Does the industry have an ombudsman? Are they a known name? If you were vulnerable or were having difficulties they have the discretion to let you rebook. If not do you have a friend who is a solicitor?

NotTerfNorCis · 26/10/2021 22:34

Today's mistake is tomorrow's anecdote. At least, something like this.

21budgies · 26/10/2021 22:41

Think about the times when you have gained money without any huge personal effort. Eg you bought a house at the right time, and its value went up. You got a better job and have earned extra salary since then, etc. You might easily have missed those opportunities. Then set off the loss against those gains (mentally).
2nd method - realise that money isn't what makes you happy, assuming you are not poor.

Charlize43 · 26/10/2021 22:58

Don't dwell on it. You win some and you lose some. Hopefully you'll have a windfall of some sort or bag a bargain soon.

TatianaBis · 26/10/2021 23:17

Double it, imagine you lost that, then this won’t seem so bad.

Bellringer · 26/10/2021 23:26

Thank you for this thread.

OkOkWhatsNext · 26/10/2021 23:30

The Idiot Tax

me4real · 26/10/2021 23:30

Can you go on the trips? One way of getting your head round it would be getting as much as youu can for your money.

Otherwise 'hey ho' and maybe take it as a call to find ways of managing whatever's on your mind that impaired your judgement- therapy etc.

Cocomarine · 26/10/2021 23:34

I always remind myself that the longer time passes, the less I will care.
I don’t expect myself to be all zen about it immediately, and I’m not even expecting myself to do not at all quickly.
But I know that one day, it will have faded.

I’ve tried to think about a time when I’ve lost money, and the closest I can think was blowing up my car engine and losing about £3K - pretty much because I didn’t ever check my oil, though I knew I should. So I wasted £3K and felt so sick with myself I nearly vomited. I certainly cried. My life savings at the time was about £500 and I earned £20K but London rent. It was a lot of money.

I haven’t thought about it in YEARS.
I’ve only remembered it now for the thread and it certainly hasn’t given me any emotions at all.

Everything passes.

Bumpsadaisie · 26/10/2021 23:44

When you're on your deathbed, it won't be this that you are thinking of!

RobertaFirmino · 26/10/2021 23:48

I always say that worse things happen at sea. If it's a cruise you've booked though, I know that's not much comfort.

DeirdreRashid · 27/10/2021 00:02

Money, easy come easy go 🤷🏻‍♀️

beautifulview · 27/10/2021 00:07

I once booked a holiday to the USA…for the wrong year. Didn’t get that money back. It happened. It’s one of those things.

Notcontent · 27/10/2021 00:33

I recently made some bad choices - not mistakes as such - but made some bad decisions as part of a house renovation - that have cost me many 1000s. I have been feeling pretty annoyed at myself but have decided to not dwell on it as what is done, is done. I can only move forward.

mellicauli · 27/10/2021 00:50

You have no control over this now. It's happened. You made a mistake. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it.

I have 2 ways of dealing with these things.

I just reflect that you did indeed mess up this time. I think why you did it. Then reflect on all the hundreds of other things I do right, day after day for year upon year, without even noticing. Then put that mistake in a corner of your mind. I imagine pulling down the shutters. locking the door and throwing away the key forever.

The other thing I do sometimes is I try and make it into a really funny story. Then I go out with my friends, have a glass of wine and tell them the story. The more you fuck up, the funnier the story.

Ophanim · 27/10/2021 01:03

“Worse things happen at sea”

Don’t say that to someone whose father died when their fishing boat sunk like I did

LadyWithLapdog · 27/10/2021 01:15

I’ve lost a very large amount of money recently through oversight and carelessness and being too busy and stressed. It’s six months later now and I don’t feel that punch in the gut as when I first realised. I think it will be better in a few years time. I still haven’t told anyone IRL as too embarrassed to admit the stupidity. Also a bit embarrassed maybe that it’s not financially crippling even though it’s £££. DP knows, it was a joint fuck-up. I sympathise but the feeling gets better FWIW.

Coffeetree · 27/10/2021 06:58

I know you say the money is lost and gone forever, but just don't let your embarrassment prevent you from bringing it up to all possible parties who might help.

That said, your financial position in life is determined by your habits, not a one-off mistake.

People waste far more on drugs or designer clothes or status cars, on a regular basis.

I recently lost some money in a speculative investment and I had to just tell myself it was a life lesson (got cocky about day trading).

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 27/10/2021 07:03

Another thing I say to myself when something 'practical' has gone wrong is that there are other things that could happen to me that would make me give anything for this to be the only thing wrong in my life. E.g. suppose my house burnt down or a loved one suddenly died - it would make this seem like nothing.

Offmyfence · 27/10/2021 07:04

Allow yourself a time frame to try to rectify, as you've said you've begged and live in hope!

After that, if it comes into your head, dismiss it!

To err is human.

Offmyfence · 27/10/2021 07:04

@ArblemarchTFruitbat

Another thing I say to myself when something 'practical' has gone wrong is that there are other things that could happen to me that would make me give anything for this to be the only thing wrong in my life. E.g. suppose my house burnt down or a loved one suddenly died - it would make this seem like nothing.
This
LookItsMeAgain · 27/10/2021 08:54

Please please please print out the post from @Theunamedcat - nothing you could do or spend money on would be as big a fuck up as the Evergiven getting stuck sideways in the Suez canal. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And that cost a shit load of money to fix and is still impacting on sea transport ever since. So don't panic. You'll save that money again and be able to enjoy it even more the second time around!

LIZS · 27/10/2021 08:58

If you paid by credit card you may be able to ask them to recoup the money.

byvirtue · 27/10/2021 10:01

It’s out of your hands, count your blessings and it will get easier to deal with over time.

We lost thousands in the first lockdown, some our fault and others most definitely not our fault. We could have taken legal action to recover some of the losses but it actually wasn’t worth it mentally to cling on to the loss by pursuing it through the courts. It’s in the past now and we’ve moved on. We have so much to be grateful for in our lives that losing the money is less important than the other riches we have in our life, yes the cheesy family, health, friends and a roof over our head. I’d rather have those than trade any of them for the money in our bank account.